Diamonds and Scars (Harley Quinn & The Joker - Fanfiction) COMPLETE!
by HerInspiration
Summary: Doctor Harleen Quinzel, a psychiatrist turned psychopath by none other than The Joker - The Clown Prince of Crime himself. The Joker was always going to be a challenge for Harleen but she ended up seeing things that nobody else got to see, a side which was kept completely hidden from everyone else... Some people will do CRAZY things when they're in love.
1. Prologue

It's a dark, depressing and stormy afternoon, thunder claps can be heard in the distance, as well as flashes of lightning which can be seen through the darkness of Arkham Asylum.

Throughout the building, a terrifying ambience of screaming and sets of eyes. Watching Harleen as she walks down the corridor.

Harleen Quinzel, still working as a psychiatrist at Arkham Asylum has been told that her next patient will be The Joker.

Scratching her head with nerves or excitement, her newly awaited patient is brought in.

Restrained by a biege Straight-jacket, The Joker firmly locks his gaunted eyes immediately on the young psychiatrist.

Harleen is sitting with The Joker in a small room with a table, bookshelf and an open window.

Harleen has a small cup of coffee, clipboard, pen and paper positioned on the table.

Joker is looking at Harleen with intrigue, it's their first session together.

He wished more people were like her...someone who just 'understands' who 'gets him' and he wants to see more of her.

After this small introduction, let's see how it really happened.

How Harleen Quinzel stopped caring about others, and started idolizing the criminally insane.

From her own perspective, this information being spoken is from Doctor Harleen Quinzel herself.

This is personal and classified information, only authorized doctors and the GCPD may look at these files.

Collected for evidence, or maybe for medical observation...I, Doctor Harleen Quinzel... welcome you into my mind.


	2. Arkham Asylum

_**ARKHAM ASYLUM**_

I'm sitting at a table, talking to one of the most twisted minds in the world. What am I doing with myself? It's probably a dream, I'll wake up soon. The Joker is never who everyone suspects him to be, he always makes a different story for each doctor who talks to him. Am I different? Probably not, but we'll see.

"Hello, my name is Doctor Harleen Quinzel, I am a psychiatrist at Arkham. I'm here to help you" I say, though his pale white face screams at my eyes but I do not show panic, nor fear.

I sit, anxiously waiting the reply from a psychopath.

"Harleen Quinzel? Such a terribly formal name. Tell me, do your friends call you Harley? I think it's much cuter. If you wanted to make it official, why not call yourself Harley Quinn? Now that sounds much more appropriate. But then, that's just me" he says, staring at my face with lust.

Maybe it's a sign of affection, but I can't assume anything yet. I try and stay professional, despite feeling uncomfortable with the situation I find myself in.

"I don't really have any friends...Anyway, why are you here?" I say.

He's flirting with me, is this a strategy to get me on his side? To make me fall for his story? I wonder.

"Why, to tell you my story! It's a wonderful little tale, I'm sure you'll enjoy it. But if you don't then...well don't tell me what you thought of it" The Joker replied to me, gritting his teeth and making his eyes kill me inside.

I need to choose my words carefully.

"I'm ready to listen to you, please, tell me anything" I hope this shows my compassion and understanding, even for the criminally insane. His scarred mouth makes a smile.

"Well, Harley" he winks, as he continues explaining his back-story. "I would like to start out by saying you have an incredibly beautiful voice. I could talk to you all day. But...Oh, yes! My story! Well, you see my parents were murdered in front of me, and I was told by my dad, I should smile more. So I took his word in his dying breath and carved a permanent smile on my face. That way, I can always be happy. And make others happy too" he stopped smiling. "It's not just clown makeup, it's a real scar. Painful, maybe but quite the conversation starter...I'm surprised you haven't brought it up yet actually" he has such a confidence in his words.

It's certain he's sick, twisted too. I only hope he's telling the truth.

"Oh my, I'm sorry you had to go through that" I said, trying to reassure him once again I'm here to help.

"Don't be, I was the one who murdered them!" he laughs, loudly.

For the duration of the laughter I feel my heart skip a beat. He can see my fear, he _loves_ it. He knows what I want to say, but I won't say it.

"Mhm, crazy right? Well maybe everyone's got a little craziness bottled away, it's healthy. You must want to know what it feels to let out the insanity. To give in to the little voice in your head that says 'do it' and once you actually kill someone, you know you're free. Free."

I swallow nervously and although petrified, I find myself drawn to his explanation. True or not, the level of psychological trauma he is showing me is fascinating.

"But why, why did you do it? What lead you to act in such a way?" I asked, but I found myself lost in his presence.

"Why do you do anything, Harley? Revenge? Boredom? No, you do it because you feel like it. And maybe because my parents disapproving of my depression was aggravating to listen to... all the time. I granted their wish though, I now smile and laugh more. Must be a win win! Of course, well...now they're dead. But that's hardly my problem anymore. But tell me about you, Harleen. It's boring to talk about myself in such a positive light all the time."

He gave me chills. Actual chills.

"I want to understand your reasoning, your motive and most importantly, I want to help you." I say, writing several notes on a piece of paper positioned on the table.

Joker is tormenting me silently with his glare. I can't see his eye contact directly. I can feel it.

"You have such a beautiful voice, I could listen to you all day." he said, edging his chair closer to the desk and putting his handcuffed wrists on the table.

"Uh...thanks" I say, accepting the compliment awkwardly.

His green eyes are locked firmly on me.

"Harley, why would you put yourself through a job you don't enjoy? Why don't you let yourself be free? Be happy. I can tell you're bored and it's not because of me, I'm way too fun to be boring!"

He makes a valid point, I really don't like this job. At all. I've always wanted to enjoy the freedom but what is he suggesting? Romance? Escaping? I can't, I won't. He can see I'm in denial.

"I...I can't...I won't" I find myself stuttering, I want to say no but in my brain it screams for me to say yes.

It's agonizing too, his words are like daggers into my heart and each one is splitting my sanity open. I somehow think he's being genuine. I think he's actually telling me the truth.

"Come now, such a beautiful young girl like you should be out there ruling the world, with me. Harley, come with me. I promise you it'll be okay. Nobody has to know. Nobody needs to know"

I cannot fault his affection any longer. Joker puts his handcuffed wrists towards me.

"But of course, I can't do this without you" his words are so sincere it's sickening.

The key to his chains is in my pocket. I have the key to his freedom...and maybe mine as well.

"Okay" I say slowly.

I get the key out of my pocket and unlock his handcuffs. He stands up, moves over to me. Closer. He embraces me softly. I suppose he could've killed me if he wanted too, but he didn't.

"Thank you" he said.

I found my arms slowly admitting affection towards The Joker.

"You may not have many friends, Harley. But you have me now" he kissed me on the cheek.

Did I just give up my sanity? I don't know, it's so crazy my mind can't process what's going on right now. But my eyes meet his and we exchange a discreet kiss on the lips.

Harley? I like that name. I like The Joker.


	3. First Date

_**FIRST DATE**_

I feel dizzy, unsettled. I can't move, my eyes are blurry. What's happening? I try and look around and I see tools. Sharp...tools. There's a bright light above me, looks like I'm on a surgery bed. About to die. Then...he emerges from the darkness and right in front of me. The Joker. My god, what have I got myself into? I should've seen it coming. I knew I shouldn't have trusted this psycho. Too late now, I guess now I pay for my mistake...with my life. He touches me on the cheek, he's wearing a purple surgical glove on his hand. It feels smooth on my skin. I want to scream, though my mouth has been taped shut.

Screaming wouldn't change a heart of a criminal, not even love. Unless this is revenge for his past, or being locked up in Arkham. He brushes the strands of blonde hair from my face with his fingers and then smiles at me.

"Good morning, my dear! Goodness, you are adorable when you sleep. Of course...I couldn't risk your betrayal so I had to make sure you were genuine. Don't bother struggling, screaming or whatever. Harley, you're mine. And you'll always be mine, but right now...well you're a little too 'perfect' for me. I like my girls with some bad blood in their body. Some real attitude. I know this isn't how you pictured our first date but don't worry! It'll be fun! Well, for me anyway" he lets out a maniacal laugh.

I hate my empathy towards him. Surely he wouldn't kill me, right? I mean he was too nice to me to end me so quickly. Oh no...I bet it's going to be torture. Actual torture, all the signs are clear. I swallowed and began breathing heavily. I could only use my trust to pray that he wouldn't kill me.

"You're scared, aren't you? It's to be expected. Heck your boyfriend just turned on you! Oh! What a back stab huh? Not the case, my dear. Not the case. I just wanted you to be a bit more 'evil' if you know what I mean" he smirks.

His smirk kills me inside. I see him as I try and follow him around the room with my eyes. He picks up a knife, licks the blade in-front of me and heads back over to where I'm restrained... against my will. He unbuttons his maroon long sleeved shirt half way. I can see the tattoos on his chest. I saw the intensity of the green hair dye, and the 'damaged' tattoo on his forehead. His body was muscled, he was in good physical fitness. That was clear to me.

"You know, I told you a true story, Harley. I said that my father would tell me to smile more. So when I was killing him, I carved a smile just like mine on his face, I then asked him 'why so serious?' and then as his lifeless body fell to the ground I felt a boost. A huge moment of adrenalin and it was amazing. But don't worry, I'm not going to kill you. I might just hurt you though. A lot" another maniacal laugh echoes the darkness in the room.

I start trying to struggle more violently and the muffles from my mouth under the tape are still just muffles. He rips the tape from my mouth. Painfully.

"Why...what did I do to you?" I muttered, sadly.

I don't expect cooperation from him anymore, I don't expect anything anymore...except pain.

"Nothing you did, Harley. Something your parents did, though." he smiled, putting the blade of the knife towards my throat.

I tried to stay perfectly still. If I struggled, my throat would be sliced open. I would die within minutes. But what does he mean? What did my parents do? I hope he isn't going to kill them. I try and hide the tears running down my cheeks. Always assume the worst...that's what my parents told me. I'm guessing he feels my intellect must be punished, and the ones responsible would be my parents.

I feel weak and powerless. I can't do anything. If I say anything he'll probably hurt me. He takes the knife away from my throat and wipes the tears off my face with his hand. The hand which isn't holding the knife, luckily. He threw the knife at the wall. The knife landed on a picture. A picture...of me. He picked up the knife from the fresh hole in the wall and placed it on the table next to me. He came over to me. He removed the glasses from my eyes gently. He placed the glasses on the table.

"I want to admire your beautiful blue eyes. You don't need glasses. You don't need anything, anyone. You have me" he took off one of the purple gloves and stroked my cheek with his hand. "You have me" he repeated softly. "Now then, on to more important business matters. Tell me, Harley." he picked up the knife from the table and continued talking."Have you got any worries? Concerns? Anyone who you want dead? I would like to point out that I am not eligible as an answer to this question" he moved the knife close to my chest. "I hate doctors you know, they always tell me what I can and can't do. You wouldn't do that, would you Harley?"

"No" I said nervously.

"No what?" he demanded a more lengthy response.

"No, sir" I replied.

"Please, call me J. Sounds more romantic" he looked at my flat chest.

Which was apparently nearly naked. I could feel a chill, I was only wearing a short cropped t-shirt. I didn't realize he almost made me naked. Almost.

"You know, Harley. You would seriously benefit from some ink. Some tattoos would spice up your dreadfully dull and formal persona. Don't you think?" my heart skipped more than one beat at this moment.

I really hope he wasn't implying that he would use a knife to carve 'tattoos' onto my skin.

"Come to think of it, add some makeup and a bit of hair dye, a change of clothing and some tattoos and you'd look drop-dead-gorgeous."

"I don't have a choice...do I?" I said, painfully preparing myself for the torture I was about to endure.

"Harley, you always have a choice. I'm just making the choice for you!" and there is that maniacal laughter again.

Signature laughter, really unique tone.

"Now, if I unlock your restraints are you going to try and escape?" he asked. "Though if you try and escape or attempt to kill me then well, I'll have no choice but to kill you. So what do you say?" I could tell he wasn't in the mood for games, I didn't have a choice.

No matter what. Harleen Quinzel had to go. Then it hit me, the actual acceptance of a new, darker persona. And personally, I think I was ready. No...I knew I was ready.

"Sure thing, Mister J" I said, seemingly not caring about anything anymore.

Mister J was more adorable than J, or Joker but also slightly formal too.

"That's my girl." The Joker removed the restraints from my arms and legs.

I sat up. The choice I had was escape and be killed or stay and live. My mind was made up.

"I knew you were in there somewhere, that's my Harley." "Jester fashion is so in season right now. Wouldn't you agree?" he asked me.

"Oh yes. I love it." I said, hugging the tattooed criminal closely. Whispering in his ear "I love you, Mister J."

I felt free. It was so odd, yet so exciting. He handed me some white face-paint and a small brush. He held up a mirror for me, this was my moment. My big transformation. I took the brush and started painting my face pastel white. It looked incredible. He then offered me some a selection of makeup.

"Where did you get this? How did you get this?" I asked.

"It's beautiful" I said.

"I stole it, for you" he replied, smiling as he handed me blue eye-shadow.

I applied the blue eye-shadow to my right eye. I smudged the blue eye-shadow for a messy effect. I was never messy. I then did the same for the other eye, only in pink eye-shadow instead of blue. My red lipstick smudged onto the white face paint, made it look like I had blood near my mouth. Of course, Mister J had me covered and offered me a bright red lipstick to coat onto my lips. Though, I liked the look of the blood on my face. I couldn't tell if I liked the new look or not. Mister J smiled at me.

"You already look so much better, Harley." he said.

"Why do you wanna change me, Mister J? Don't you love me the way I am?" I asked.

"Of course my dear! It's just that, a change is a good thing, it's like we're putting your old self to bed and welcoming a brand new Harley Quinn. I for one, love the new you" he replied.

It was true, as Harleen I didn't have any fun, any friends or anyone who thought I was beautiful. Now, I can actually love myself. My new self.

"Before you say it, I know. My hair is boring. It's boring and it's not fun. Well I agree, I thought you'd say it. I suppose you want me to change my hair too?" I asked, slightly annoyed at him for wanting to change so much of my appearance.

Though I didn't disagree with his reasoning.

"Harley, I love your hair! But why not make it, as you say 'more fun'. I got some dye!" he said excitedly as he pulled out a bottle of blue and a bottle of hot pink hair dye.

"Oh my gosh, I love those colours!" I squealed with excitement.

"I knew you would" he smiled.

He went and got two containers and tipped a bottle of dye in each one. One blue, and one pink.

"Fancy some dip, dying?" he smiled.

I looked at the containers full of brightly coloured hair dyes and smiled at him. I partitioned my hair into two halves. One half I dipped in blue dye, about a third of the hair was coated in blue. I then dipped the other half of my hair into hot pink hair dye. I took both halves out of the dye and let them drip. I remembered I had a couple of spare hair ties in my trouser pocket so I tied my hair in two separate tails, one at each side. Not loose, tight. The dye was dripping onto my body. It felt incredible. Though this is only the beginning, I'm so happy Mister J is making me do this.


	4. Change Of Heart

_**CHANGE OF HEART**_

Whilst dancing around about my new look, I clearly don't notice The Joker right behind me.

Suddenly, I fall to the ground and my eyes blur until I can only see darkness. Great...Good ol' Mister J isn't finished with me yet. Little did I know I soon found myself back on that damned surgery bed. The Joker is certainly unpredictable, I'll give him that. He uses his false charm to lure me into making changes to my appearance...and then still wants to kill me. Just like we were before, only this time he's given me the ability to speak.

For now anyway. I feel his hand touch my cheek, but it wasn't a smooth touch, it was violent. Physical. He...Just slapped me, I can feel the painful redness on my face. I spit blood out of my mouth, towards him. I want him to see my aggression, I bet it'll make him want to hit me again. I want to use this to my advantage, see exactly how he feels about the new me. Of course I haven't changed, It takes a lot more to break my mind. My psychiatric mind, to be precise.

"You're pathetic. Did you actually think I was just going to give you some makeup, a few hugs and then we'd become best friends? Idiotic, Doctor. I really thought you'd know better than that." he laughed, showing me a needle used for drawing tattoos.

And I sure as hell knew he wasn't a professional tattoo artist. This could get interesting, let's try a different approach.

"Well at least I can still call myself normal. What are you? Some kind of psychopathic clown? And what you did to me, I loved it, do it again...I want you to" I spat some more blood from my mouth, the hit from his palm really did a number on my jaw.

When he hit me, it hurt...but I liked it. It felt good.

"You're asking for more than just another slap, Quinzel" he wiped the blood off his cheek which I spat at him.

His smile turned into a frown.

"Aw, what's the matter, puddin?" I have never called anyone that.

I wanted him to buy my act though, make him think that i've changed when I really haven't. He doesn't seem that smart, but he is crafty.

"Don't call me that!" he yelled as he picked up a knife and put it to my throat. The typical love affair between the two of us, it's cute really.

"Why would you kill me if you love me?" I asked.

"Like I said, I'm not gonna kill ya. I'm gonna make you mine. Hurt you, a hell of a lot." he proclaimed, wielding the knife closer to my skin and getting his head nearer to my face.

I could tell he wasn't going to use the knife, he got that predictable so quickly. His torture is boring me now.

"Yeah, okay. Let me know how that goes. I don't love you, psycho. I will never love you, now if you'd kindly let me go I'd really appreciate it." I said, clearly the method was working as I saw his face crinkle up into an angry expression.

He was really angry.

"Okay. Okay, I see you're trying to be awkward. That's fine, we'll go with a more direct approach then." he placed the knife onto my forehead and sliced it open slightly.

Not very deep, didn't really hurt either.

"How does that feel?" he asked me, looking at the blood from my newly gouged scar.

It makes me laugh, the fact that he thought I was stupid enough to fall in love with him.

"If you're trying to impress me, you're failing miserably." I said sarcastically, the blood from the open wound slowly spread to the area beneath the cut.

"Harley, you're really pushing my patience. If you're not into knives. How about-" he paused, picking up some form of electro therapy device.

I know this device...we used them in Arkham for our patients rehabilitation treatment. I actually started to panic and sweat. I remembered these devices were used to fry a patient's brain and completely brainwash them! I'd lose all of my psychiatric knowledge! Heck, I wouldn't even know who I was anymore! Oh shit...I'd be his.

I would be _his_ Harley Quinn.

How the hell did he get such a device? They were exclusive to Arkham Asylum!

"I think you know this device, Harley. You know what it does, right?" he finally caught me.

He finally cornered me into his dirty little trap, his arrogant mind thought this up from the start. Why was I provoking him? That didn't help me at all, it made things worse...a lot worse. I stay silent, though he can clearly tell I know exactly what this device does. And he can see I'm terrified. He's loving this.

"I think you do!" he said in a playful and annoying tone.

"So OK, let's say I use this device on you. What would happen to you? Would you die? No! You're way too much of a fighter for that. Though it'd probably sting, and you'd probably see me in a completely different light!"

He sparked the two ends of the device near my face and taunted me, he laughed. I cannot forget that distinct laughter he has, it sends shivers down my spine.

"Where...did you get that?" I asked nervously.

"Harley...you gotta be really stupid if you think I won't smuggle in some equipment from the treatment room. It wasn't even that difficult to get hold of, in fact...they let me have it! Your job at Arkham wasn't official. They were using you Harley, using your knowledge to try and 'fix' me. Well I don't need fixing! You...on the other hand, well you could do with fixing." he said, moving the two ends apart from each other.

The electricity current stopped...though his constant taunting didn't.

"That's not true! You're lying! Stop trying to make me into a freak like you!"

"Would I lie to you, Harley? Wait no...don't answer that." he paused.

He restarted the electricity current on the two ends and he was edging them closer to either side of my head. Oh my god...I was moments away from becoming his...his...his...girl- I stopped my line of thought...I couldn't think. I could feel my brain being erased, as each side of the device took hold of my thoughts and ripped them from my concious mind. My body began to shake within the restraints and then I blanked out completely. I have no thoughts. I don't know who I am, who he is or what I'm doing here. My brain is dead...and it hurts. It fucking hurts.

Both emotionally and physically, what he has done to me has scarred me for life. Now Harleen is dead, and Harley Quinn comes out to play...with my puddin! What? No... No! I have not lost my sub-concious, my knowledge...I will not give into the voice in my head.

The two ends were removed from either side of my head. I felt disorientated and dizzy.

And now, in a constant battle between my sanity and the clown. I've lost it... I've lost everything. This isn't who I am...who I was supposed to be. I squirm as my brain fights with itself. Shut up, Harleen! It's my turn ta do the narrating around here! Aw'right so Mistah J just freed me, about time, I was gettin' bored in that brain of hers. She just moans an' groans about her life and her sanity. Personally, this side of her is much better, much more fun, and fun is important. Gurl's gotta have fun to survive, y'know? I can't wait to see what Mistah J has planned for us next! Oh, why say us? It's just me now! Harley Quinn, pleased to meet ya!

"How are you feeling, my dear?" he asked me.

"So much better, Mistah J" I responded, smiling at his curiosity.

Ha, so if Mistah J did all of this for sweet little me then I must be important ta him right? Maybe my puddin has a surprise for me, I love surprises! Of course...how could he be sure that I wasn't fakin' again? He gotta make sure I'm really Harley and that the doctor lady isn't still in here, though I can tell she isn't. I killed her. Still...Mistah J is worth the pain, and he'll make sure I'm me before the _real_ fun begins.

"You really did all of this for me?" I asked, curiously.

"Mhm, I wanted my Harley. So many girls have tried to be mine, but I always knew they weren't the Harley I was looking for...you though, you might just be. Still, gotta be sure...can't leave the experiment half finished now can we?"

His laughter sounded different, less grating and more insane. I should know Mistah J has another trick or two up his sleeve...and damn it's gonna hurt. I'm too obsessed for my own good now, and yet I can't seem to snap out of it. Harleen would be screaming her head off, but still that doesn't mean that Harley is gonna act like a stupid blondie, I got some intelligence still. My own kind. Hahahaha! Ok...that felt great... really great, my first maniacal instance of laughter, though it was in my head. I guess my puddin is unpredictable, dangerous and down-right insane...but that's what I love about him.

"Experiment? Is that all I am to you, puddin?"

Puddin sounds adorable, but I don't think Mistah J likes it. Hehe I think I like it though.

"Of course not! You're much more to me than that, Harley. But one thing" He paused and seemingly braced his palm to hit my face...again. "Don't call me puddin!" And I was right, because he did.

And it hurt, but I loved it.

"But...But...it sounds so adorable" I muttered to him.

OK, he wasn't happy with me calling him puddin, but that didn't mean I was gonna stop doing it.

He didn't respond to me, but he opened my restraints and let me walk free, if I wanted to. Of course I didn't, I got up and I hugged him. I touched his beautifully tattooed chest and unbuttoned his shirt, slipping it off him so I could see his body. He was covered in inked tattoos. Mistah J didn't fall for my flirting though, he pushed me away and groaned at me. I didn't understand why, I thought he wanted my affection.

He walked off, and picked up the tattoo needle. Oh goodie...tattoos, another thing Mistah J wants... but why won't he just accept his Harley for what I am? Sigh. I guess I haven't got a choice, plus I was pretty envious of his inks anyway. Yeah...OK, let's do it.

"You know, Mistah J. I always wanted you to tattoo me personally. Would ya do that for me?" I smirked, but his eyes didn't meet mine in the way I was planning.

"Of course...whatever you want, Harley" he rolled his eyes and looked at me.

"Whatever I want? Ok...I want you to stop tryin' ta change me!"

I wasn't happy with him, with his intentions or his decisions. I did have a choice, he gave me the choice. But if he wants it, then I'll grant it to him...if it makes him happy then that's all I want. I want my puddin to be happy.

The needle pierced my skin as the ink started being permanently added to my face. It hurt. I hoped he wouldn't tattoo something rude on me, now that'd be too mean...even for him. He tattooed a heart on my cheek. That was really sweet of him. Then he tattooed the word 'rotten' near my jawline. Rotten? I'm rotten to him? Oh! I get it. He tattooed damaged onto his forehead, and I'm his girl so I get rotten. Because my mind is that fucked up hahahaha! I actually could watch him tattoo me all day, it's fun. It's really nice that he cares enough to tattoo me personally. Ok, maybe he's not a professional but it's the little things girls appreciate in their boyfriends.

And my boyfriend is one heck of a boyfriend.

"Do you like them?" he asked, smiling.

"I love them, puddin!" his smile turned neutral.

But then he smiled again, maybe he finally accepted the nickname I gave him.

"It seems you're acting different. I hope this isn't the same act you pulled on me earlier, is it? Because if it is...then you better hope I kill you quickly."

Ok...he just threatened me...like properly threatened me. He still thinks i'm that loser Harleen...how can I prove it to him? Prove that I'm not who he thinks I am? I mean he fried my brain...how would it be possible to still be Harleen, or anyone for that matter. He is making me exactly how he wants me to be and that still isn't enough for him. I don't know what more I can offer him. Maybe Mistah J really does want to hurt me...or kill me. I panic. But then suddenly, I feel like I'm being shaken.

What...what's happening? I thought.


	5. Cut The Act

_**CUT THE ACT**_

"Hey...Hey! Harleen? Harleen! Wake up!" a voice called out to me.

I couldn't distinguish it, I felt myself coming back to reality. Oh shit...was this all a dream? I find myself waking up... This wasn't my office...this was a cell. Oh my god...was I really in Arkham Asylum...as an inmate? No! Impossible, there's no way I could possibly be insane, there's no way! I looked around the cell, and _he_ was there. The Joker was in my cell with me. I looked down, I was wearing black and white prisoner clothing. I panicked. What the hell is going on? And why was I in this cell? I couldn't move my hands, they were handcuffed. And I had a bit of cloth around my mouth...wait, this wasn't a cell...this wasn't a cell! Oh my god...it was the Arkham Asylum treatment room.

"There she is! Back to reality, you were quite the fighter Miss Quinzel. I had to drag you all the way to Arkham Asylum just to really ensure you weren't lying to me. I don't buy your act...I never did. Though, we do seem to be making some progress. After all, you're not making yourself look absolutely ridiculous anymore...in fact, you might have improved your appearance by adding that extra bit of blood. Oh, no need to thank me, it's something I couldn't have done without your full cooperation. So, here's the thing. I haven't been fully honest with you, the 'makeup' you put on was actually a chemically based substance... causing the user to fall unconscious after an hour of applying. It looks and feels so real, and yet makes you none the wiser when it hits you at the full effect."

"So OK, who is this psycho and why is he doing this to me? I know every single question you're asking me, Harleen. In that smart brain of yours which realistically should've been wiped but I guess the electro-therapy only caused temporary loss of whereabouts and made you disorientated. And perhaps also more sexually attracted to me, that wasn't intentional but I won't argue with the side-effects. I must've set it to minimum voltage. All the Arkham patients know it must be on maximum voltage to fully wipe the brain, and medium voltage to allow manipulation of the brain."

"Another question I'm sure you're wanting to ask me is 'how did we get to Arkham Asylum, and who in their right mind let me in here to do these horrible things to you? Well, my dear...Arkham Asylum's owner experiments on his patients and exploits their minds for their rehabilitation. I, for one know that your job here was exploited on purpose. But i've already explained this to you, and it grates on me that you think i'm so easy to win over with flirting and sweet talk...Well i'll tell you something, Harley. All of these sweet words...are gonna make me kill you, so please...refrain from doing it in the future." his voice.

It was so obvious it was him. But yet, where did all this medical and scientific knowledge come from? It wasn't like Joker was intelligent enough to do all of this...He must've had help. Or maybe... maybe I just don't know him at all. I knew that I was in trouble though...serious trouble.

"One more thing, we were in Arkham Asylum this whole time. I knocked you out, dragged you to the examination/surgery room and now you're in the official treatment room. Not really a promotion from being a psychiatrist but hey! At least we're having fun, right sugar?" he laughed.

I cannot fault the master plan he's conducted on me, it's been flawless. And the sneaky clown has been torturing me in my own work place this entire time! How dare he show the nerve to call me sugar...that's such a cringe-worthy attempt to flirt with me. I hate it.

"I should be impressed I suppose, your stupidity has exceeded all my expectations of you, though that isn't something you should be pleased with. Makes me wonder how you even became a doctor. You're supposed to understand the mind! You should've spotted this long line of betrayal way before it actually happened! Though, it has been incredibly fun watching you slowly turn yourself insane. It'll make my job a lot easier, anyway. Let's get on with it, shall we?"

He removed the piece of cloth from my mouth.

Naturally, I spat right on his face. He wiped the spit off his face and slapped me. Suppose I should've expected it, but I didn't care for his violence or torture anymore. If he had wanted to kill me he would've done it by now...right?

"I should thank you, of course! Without you I wouldn't have met my Harley."

Wait...what? Is he saying I'm not the girl he's been trying to torture into becoming his psychopathic girlfriend? Now I'm confused...I demand answers.

"Harleen, you were never going to become Harley Quinn. You're way too serious, way too much of a pain in my arse. So you have a few options. Option 1 is I kill you slowly and painfully, Option 2 is I kill you quickly, Option 3 is you do exactly what I say. Which is it, Harleen?"

I stay silent.

I mean, what could I actually say to not lead to a lifetime of suffering at his hand? And I don't think it's necessarily true...he hasn't got another Harley, I'm his Harley and yet he's threatening me. Like, really threatening me. It's gotten to the stage I'm too petrified to speak at all.

"No answer? Hmm...I guess I'll decide for you then?"

He proudly showed me the two ends of the electro-therapy device he used on me earlier and sparked the two ends together. The electricity was more violent...he definitely had the voltage up higher than before.

"Medium, or high?" he asked me.

Clearly medium would turn me into his Harley Quinn, forever...no nightmares, no alternative realities and voices in my head. I would be Harley Quinn...for definite. His command would turn me into her, even if I refused...my brain would be open to the suggestions being spoken to me. On the other hand, if he put it on high then he's effectively killing me, destroying my brain and killing every ounce of intelligence I have in my mind. I can't decide. I won't decide!

"Please...please, don't"

I tried reasoning with him, but he was beyond reason.

"Shhhh, it's OK. I'll make it quick."

He put the cloth back in my mouth, it tasted disgusting.

But it also prevented me from speaking, having my teeth firmly locked on a piece of cloth whilst my hands were chained together meant I would be able to mumble, but not make words of any sense. My body was shaking, my eyes were producing tears...which were rolling down my face. I panicked, but he tried to soothe my anxiety.

His blood stained lips touched my cheek. It almost reassured me.

Almost.

He placed the ends at either side of my head and sparked the voltage.

I could feel my body shaking violently, all memories, thoughts, inhibitions were being erased. Everything I knew...was gone. I saw only darkness until he made me into my new self.

I wasn't sure I'd ever wake up again. But I did, but not as Harleen. No, as Harley Quinn. For the first time in reality I was the clown princess of crime. Not a nightmare, not a dream.

This was real.

It was the real me. I remember waking up in a vat of acid. Mistah J pushed me. Wasn't very nice of him, but that was the same stuff that changed him into the clown prince of crime. And I was to be his princess. I had to suffer the same as he did. Mistah J wouldn't be happy until I did.


	6. Obsession With Diamonds

_**OBSESSION WITH DIAMONDS**_

Now, I'm in the city. On my own. Mistah J sent me off on an errand to get his fancy suit from the shop. Nah, let him fetch his own damn suit! I got my own plans. With my baseball bat in hand, I kick down the door of a clothing store and walk up to the cashier.

"Hiya, I got a death warrant for a Mister...uh whatever, your name isn't important. It's from The Joker. But listen, I'm a nice gal so I'll let you go an' you give me all the cash in your till, kay sugar?"

The man panics and presses a silent alarm under his desk.

"Shame, I was hoping I wouldn't have to get blood on my nice new baseball bat...oh well."

I was wearing the same blue shirt... quite a nice little shirt, got some rips in it already but I could do with a completely new look. Plain isn't really my style anymore ya see. I swung my baseball bat at the cashier's head an' it knocked him straight out. Maybe even killed him tehehe.

Crap, cops are here.

I hide behind the counter with my baseball bat at the ready. C'mon coppa's! I can take ya sorry arses on no problem. I waited for them to find me. Though they walked right past the counter. Clunking boots and noise from their radios. Enough to give a girl a headache. So what did I do? I gave up! I emerged from behind the desk with my hands up.

"Alright...You caught me. Yes I've been wearing this absolutely hideous piece of clothing for the past week! Yes! A whole week! I know right? But listen fellas, you let me go and I promise Mistah J and I won't kill all of ya. Deal?"

A bullet was fired from a pistol magazine.

I'm guessing that meant no deal. I sighed and dodged the bullet by doing a cartwheel.

What? I'm an acrobat.

From behind, I disarmed the cop holding the pistol and took it right out of his hands. I then shot the remaining police officers with a bullet to the head. No biggy really, it's what Mistah J taught me. The one guy I disarmed I had in a choke-hold. Interrogating a guy is a hell of a lotta fun ya know.

"Why would you try and arrest me? That's so rude! Mistah J gonna be hearing about this."

Suddenly, The Joker opened the door and saw me in here...with a load of dead bodies. He took out a pistol and shot the one I was interrogating in the head. I dropped his dead corpse on the floor and ran over to Mistah J, hugging him.

"Harley? What happened here? I told you to get my suit not go on a shopping spree! And by the way, who called the cops on you?"

He wasn't happy.

He was thrilled, he was actually impressed.

"You managed to kill the cashier, rob the place and kill all of the cops? I gotta say i'm impressed. You're a clever girl." He hugged me back.

His suit was located behind the counter, in a plastic bag to protect it from dirt. Mistah J took the bag and ripped it open. There it was, a beautiful purple trench-coat.

"I thought it was a suit?" I asked.

But I loved it, made him look more attractive from the first moment he put it on. Whilst he was slipping the coat ontop of his flesh he patted me on the head gently.

"I said that so you'd be careful with it. Suits are more expensive than coats, yet this one cost that fella behind the counter an arm and a leg it seems!" he laughed.

"Yeah...about that, I mighta sorta killed him"

I looked at the dead cashier behind me. He was dead. Oops? Though my puddin didn't seem angry with me, as he opened up the cash register and started filling up his newly lined pockets with dollars.

"More money for us then it seems!"

He shoved a handful of money towards me.

"Here, buy yourself something nice. That shirt sure is getting tatty."

"I know, I came in here to do some shopping and OH-MY-GOSH-"

I paused, my eyes were locked firmly on this pair of shoes. They looked like trainers, but they had high heels and they reached far up the ankle. They were amazing. I had to have them, but there wasn't anyone to stop me anyway. So I took them. And I tried them on. They fit perfectly.

"Looks like you found something, go ahead...nobody's gonna stop us from taking whatever we want from this store now!" he smiled.

He also spotted something, a small cropped t-shirt with 'Daddy's Lil Monster' written on it in thick black writing. I slipped off my beaten up blue shirt and tried it on. Showed off my boobs and my stomach a bit much, but it was meant for me. Daddy's Lil Monster, I was Joker's little monster, for sure.

"You got quite a body, Harley. You been working out?" he asked, observing my figure.

"Well, ya know...beatin' people senseless is a daily exercise I do" I smiled, looking at the shirt Mistah J found for me.

He smiled too.

"I know a guy, I'll get him to make you something special. Something really special. For a very special girl"

Before I knew it, we were kissing publicly in a clothing store surrounded by dead bodies. It was so romantic. Anyone who attempted to enter the store got a bullet through their brain. Well, it serves them right for interrupting such a special moment. What? Oh come on, like you're surprised that we killed random civilians and I just murdered some cops? Please, Harley...you're choosing to do this. And admit, you're loving it. My brain was right, and my thoughts weren't lying. I was enjoying every second with my puddin.

If someone saw us, he'd purposely track them down. And if they ran, or if the bullet missed their head, he'd murder them in their sleep. Ooooh! Makes me tingle with happiness just thinking about it!

Anyway...This sexual scene might take some time...but I have a confession. I haven't exactly been truthful about my past. Let's start from the beginning, when I explained my past in Arkham Asylum, that was actually our first session together...I had to take more discreet measures of showing my affection towards Mistah J and then it got...really sinister. Let's take a trip down memory lane, back to Arkham Asylum. Shall we?


	7. Session 2

_**SESSION 2**_

"Harley, you're forced to keep seeing me? What a punishment for you, right? I mean I know I could murder you at any moment but yet you still keep coming back for more! It's unfortunate that you feel you have to try and delve into my mind, if you go in too deep you may not like what you see or hear, just saying" he said it more seriously than normal.

Something was wrong. Either I heard him differently or it was a case of me slowly developing insanity...and quite possibly a love interest too. He somehow managed to manipulate me in such a way that I wanted to listen to his voice more and more. He was at least back in handcuffs, I managed to get the warden to believe that The Joker removed them himself...luckily nobody noticed that we...were kissing. We can't escape yet, it's way too obvious. But then my obsession to The Joker cannot become obvious either.

"Remember, I'm here to talk about you...not the other way around. I ask the questions, you don't ask the questions."

"Whatever you say, Doc" he said whilst crossing his arms and slouching on the chair.

"Why the clown theme? If I may ask" I wanted to know his inspiration, his motive.

His weird fashion sense might point me in the right direction.

"The clown look is so overrated, the typical funny man juggling balls and riding a unicycle. And oh so boring, so I decided that once I started carving smiles into people's face's that I should reflect the persona by putting on a mask of my own. Your smile...Miss Quinzel, it's the most fake part of the human emotions. Why not embrace that inner smile? I could help you, of course" he looks at me.

I don't like the look he's giving me. Not one bit. I shuffle in my seat uncomfortably.

"Not on a personal level, but anyway back to the story. So the act of drawing smiles onto people was fun, it brought a smile to my face every time. But it wasn't the same with paint...it had to be something more permanent, or the smile faded...typically paint wasn't very easy to work with either. Still, it was a good diversion when they thought it was red paint instead of blood. I used that to my advantage. Then I decided to use the clown theme more often, and soon it became part of my every-day routine!" the laughter...once again, the most spine chilling laughter I've heard.

"You wanted to make people laugh? Or did you just want them to smile? Sounds too sudden to me, if I'm honest"

"Well. If I'm honest, those shoes really don't go with your outfit. But I'm not complaining am I? But OK, to answer your question I wanted to get revenge for my parents. Who I murdered... but that's besides the point! The point was, I wanted some fun, I wanted to be free. To be like 'hey I can cut this guy's face open and you can't do a thing about it' and that's what happened. Then I started robbing banks, murdering people and I started having sex with incredibly beautiful women...and then murdering them" his laughter this time was more dark and cynical.

And at that point, my heart was in my mouth.

"Do you know what it feels like when you kill for the first time? It's an amazing feeling, you should try it. Would you kill someone if you had the chance to?" he asked me.

I actually don't know what to say to this clown anymore. I need to get out of this room. Argh! I need some time to think.

"I need to go to the bathroom, please excuse me"

"Take as long as you need, my dear" he said, smiling at me as I left the room and closed the door.

I looked through the window at him...he was waiting to do something, I knew it. I walked down the corridor to the entrance of the ladies toilets. I opened the door and closed it behind me. Walking up to the mirror above the sink I looked at myself, I looked deep and clearly into my sanity.

"Right Harleen...this patient may be trying to manipulate you into loving him but you cannot let him" I tried to calm myself down...or at least find out a logical reason for his behaviour. "Just because he keeps looking at you like that...it doesn't mean anything...right?"

I turned on the tap and splashed some water onto my face.

My mascara was running down my cheeks.

"Listen...you're fine, you're fine! There's nothing that patient can do to you. Nothing...you're fine...calm down...breathe" I took a deep breath in and slowly breathed out. "Why do I have to be stuck with such a perverted psychopath! Why does he make me feel this way! Am I in love with him? Oh god no...I can't be! Am I? No! I won't fall for his shit anymore!"

In my anger, I punched the mirror.

The mirror cracked and the small shards of glass shattered around the sink. My hand was bleeding.

"What's wrong with me? I'm never angry, I'm never like this...What the hell is he doing to me?"

And then, one of my colleagues opened the door and saw me. They saw me in this state.

"Harleen? What the? Are you alright?" she asked me, clearly seeing my unprofessional breakdown beforehand.

I was shaking. I didn't know what to do, if I let this woman help me then I wouldn't see The Joker anymore, I would be deemed unprofessional and possibly fired. But I didn't want to stop seeing him...Or did I? I don't know! Shit...I grabbed the woman by her shirt collar.

I was somehow not in control of my temper or my actions anymore.

"You...you won't tell anyone about this...because if you do...I'll...I'll" she looked at me, petrified.

She knew I wasn't like this...I knew I wasn't like this. But I couldn't control myself.

"Easy...easy! I'm just in here like you, to go to the loo and clear my head...easy...please...please just let me go"

I wanted to let her go, but I couldn't. I had the overwhelming urge to snap her neck. I choked her with a firm hold on her neck and then I dropped her body to the ground.

I don't think she's dead... I returned back to the mirror and realized what I had just done. "Oh shit...oh shit...! Oh my god!" I started laughing at myself in the mirror.

The laughter continued and got more and more maniacal as it went on. Every second of laughter was a percentage of my sanity lost.

I then left the ladies' bathroom and ignored the potentially dead body of my colleague I left on the floor.

I re-entered the room with The Joker.

"You took your time. Do you feel better? Had a little cry, perhaps?" he saw my smudged mascara on my face.

I looked a state. I tried to hide the blood on my hand, but I forgot about it for a second and put my hand on the table, the blood leaked onto the table and created a red blood stain on the surface.

"Took your anger out, hmm? I know I have that effect on people" he smirked.

Then...he stood up...and he walked over to me. His handcuffs were loose, he was swinging them around on his finger. How the hell did the handcuffs get loose? And since when could he stand up or freely move around in the room?

"I have a surprise for you, Harley" He restrained me and put the handcuffs on my hands. And then he kissed me on the lips whilst I was trying to yell at him. "Shhh, screaming and yelling won't do you any good"

He pulled out a roll of tape and ripped a piece off, he then put tape over my mouth. Firstly, where did the tape even come from? How did he manage to smuggle it in here? Secondly, what the hell is going on? He knocked me unconscious.

When I awoke, I was in a room. In front of me was a chair and what looked like a person covered over with cloth. The Joker removed the cloth and there was in fact a person there, squirming and struggling to get free. The Joker ripped the piece of tape from my mouth.

"Surprise! I know I know it's what you've always wanted right?" he looked at the woman strapped up in the chair.

Oh shit...this was the woman I...unintentionally strangled earlier in the bathroom. She's still alive? Well... if she is, I doubt she will be for long.

"Harley, I'm giving you the chance to experience revenge. Experience the thrill of actually killing someone. You really did a number on this one earlier, I didn't think you had in it you to even hurt a fly let alone nearly kill a woman. But why stop there? You've always wanted to, just admit it!" he held out a knife in his hand.

My chance to take it and kill The Joker or take it and kill this woman. Or don't take it, and he kills me. I pick up the knife, feeling the weight and feel of it in my hands. He nods at me. I take the knife and raise it in the attempt to stab her in the chest. But I fail to. I lower my hand back down and don't stab the woman.

"I know it's hard, but here...let me show you" he grabs me by the wrist and forces my hand...and the knife.

The knife stabs her violently in the chest. He then lets go of my arm and gives me the decision to leave her dying or kill her. I look at him, with a slight glint in my eye as my face and clothing are covered with blood. I take the knife and stab it in her chest multiple times and then stop. I look at The Joker, I walk up to him slowly. He watches me. I throw the knife on the floor. I push him up against the wall and hold him by the collar, about to punch him in the face.

I kiss him.

Lowering my aggressive stance and releasing the hold of his neck, he meets my lips and kisses me back. We're left in the Asylum treatment room. Some violence, blood and sex is expressed during our time in Arkham.


	8. Reality

_**REALITY**_

 _The Joker's Perspective:_

This is the first part containing my thoughts? Honestly, I thought I was more important than my associated jester girl. But fine...if that's how it's gonna be...that's going to change. Right now.

This is too 'luvvy dubby' for me to be honest, it needs more fun. And I know exactly how to make my fun. I removed myself from the floor and stood up, cracking my back into place after producing a large stretch. Much better.

"Listen sweet-cheeks I'm all for your affection, truly but there's more important things we could be doing rather than cuddling on the floor"

Harley got up from the floor as well, dusting off her new clothing and reassembling her dignity. Such a sweet girl, right pain in my backside though.

"Like shopping?" she asked, squealing with excitement.

As if she thought I would say no to such a pretty little face.

"No." but I said it anyway, because I'm like that.

Harley's smile turned into a small disappointed frown.

"OK, so if we aint gonna go shoppin' what are we gonna do huh? We can't wait for B-man all day ya know, like you said, we got things ta do right?"

Oh Harley, your voice grates on me so much. But I love your enthusiasm and your commitment to everything I say and everything I ask you to do. Surprising that a girl like her would end up so mentally broken to fall in love with me, but then I am 'ill' so why should I be surprised.

"Then we make our own fun" I laugh sinisterly, picking up Harley's baseball bat which was left on the floor. "Here, you're going to need this"

I moved it towards her and she grabbed it from my hand. She felt the weight and feel of it and tried a few swings in the air.

"B-Man gon' get this bat right up his-"

I stopped her, putting my hand over her mouth to shut her up.

Outside, there was a cop looking through the window. Oh for god sake, really? I applaud their attempts at capturing me but really there's no point. Harley...on the other hand might be easier to capture. Hmm...that gives me an idea.

"Harley, there's a cop outside, think you can give him a good ol' one two for me?" I whisper to her, pointing at the cop seemingly unaware of what's happening inside.

"Sure thing, puddin. Won't be but a minute" she blew a kiss to me and I smiled at her.

She smashed through the door and stumbled outside. Ugh...why do I even bother? I thought I'd leave her to it though.

 _Harley Quinn's Perspective:_

Laying on the floor, the police officer approaches me. My baseball bat had rolled away from my reach. This...wasn't going to go well...

"Harley Quinn, you're under arrest." the cop attempts to get a hold on me.

"I don't think so, my puddin will make sure you an' your entire squad are dead! He'll put a bullet right between ya brain. So don't touch Mistah J's girl, he won' be happy about it."

I waited for Mistah J to come and finish off this cop. But I could see him, just standing.

Watching. Not doing anything.

My heart shattered into pieces. Was I not important to him anymore? Or was this some master plan which required me to be bait?

"You let go of me ya hear? I will never be held in prison! I was a doctor! I'll break out, an' i'll find ya and then i'll kill you! You jus' see if I don't!"

I tried to struggle free as the officer was restraining me. He put handcuffs on my wrists. I was shoved into the back of the police car parked outside of the shop. I just kept staring at Mistah J's face. His lying, sorry-excuse for a boyfriend piece of shit face!

But how could I stay mad at him? He made me like this!

I tried to rustle the handcuffs off my wrists but they were locked on firmly. There I was, arrested. I won't go down without a fight. I won't go to prison. I won't. It's ironic though, i'll end up in Arkham, just like where it all started!

"Hahahahahahahaha". I continue laughing out loud for no apparent reason. I've finally lost it. Maybe I've finally realized how much of a jerk The Joker is? Maybe he just unofficially dumped me, maybe he just killed me in a different way. "So, tell me, where are we headin'? I hear prison is pretty boring so don't take me there." I try and be sociable, I mean hey, he might let me go? You're right... he won't.

"Jail" he says, smirking.

"Oh haha very funny you went an' twisted my joke! Well the joke's on you. When I get out of here you are so for it!" I yelled at the cop.

"Mhm, sure thing." the cop responded, grunting at me.

How rude!

Riding around in the back of a police car. Not how I expected to spend my afternoon...Still, I wasn't exactly powerless despite the handcuffs and being stuffed into a police car and betrayed by my boyfriend...again. I know he's going to rescue me, I just know it. I won't lose faith. He has his reasons, crazy as they may be.

"Here we are" the officer announced as we pulled into the parking bay in front of the police station.

Odd, it looked more like a maximum security prison than an ordinary police station. The officer turned off the engine and opened the car door, stepping out and shutting it behind him. He walked over to the back and opened the door. I hesitantly got up and the officer shut the car door behind me. He pushed me to walk forward. My small footsteps were not satisfying, the imprisonment was not satisfying and worst of all: the uniform I would have to wear would be so out of fashion it would make me look horrible! Not satisfying.


	9. Confined Spaces

_**CONFINED SPACES**_

Finally, I arrived at the entrance. The officer opened the door and forced me to walk inside. I didn't want to, and I could easily run away and kill this idiot but I decided to comply...for now anyway. Might be more interesting this way.

There was a reception area which was half covered in bars.

I guess it was so I couldn't slap the bitch behind the counter.

I stood there whilst they examined my pockets.

"One baseball bat, recovered from the back of the police car 'Good Night' written on it, oak. Clearly evidence of blood on the wood finish. One handheld gun, no bullets. Oh no surprise, some bullets. A playing card with 'The Joker' written all over it. And finally, a pocket knife...retractable blade with blood stained on the metal." the woman behind the counter said, whilst examining every item closely.

The guard confiscated everything. Everything. An orange prisoner uniform was shoved in my general direction. Yeah, as if I was going to change into this. I refused to take it.

"Alright, you want to do this the hard way, Quinn?" he asked me angrily.

"You bet your sorry ass I do!" I grated my teeth towards the guard threatening me.

He wasn't a happy bunny.

One more guard came and assisted the officer to carry me against my will. I was struggling and kicking and screaming but it didn't do anything.

"You better not ruin my stuff! I have rights!" I tried shouting at the top of my lungs.

The two guards opened a door and pushed me inside, shutting it behind me.

"Please, take a seat" a female voice said. She looked professional. I reluctantly sat in the chair, crossing my legs. "Welcome to your first session, Miss Quinn"

"And who are you? My lawyer? My cell mate?" I asked sarcastically.

"Your therapist"

"Oh you have got to be kiddin' me..." I rolled my eyes.

Therapist? Now that's just too funny. That's good, that's really good. This has so much irony I should just go ahead and walk over to Arkham Asylum.

"Would you mind if I record this for medical reference?"

"Sure, go ahead. I don't care anymore."

I literally didn't care anymore.

The 'therapist' pressed a button on a small device to begin recording.

"Session one:

 _Patient 03746 is Harleen Quinzel, takes on alias of Harley Quinn. Harley used to be a psychiatrist at Arkham Asylum._

 _Known associates: The Joker, Catwoman, Poison Ivy._

 _Gender: Female_

 _Eye colour: Blue_

 _Hair colour: Blonde (dyed)_

 _Average height and weight, fit and healthy._

 _Body shows no evidential scarring or damage."_

The little voice in my head just broke out instead of being my thoughts, it was so strong that I was actually hearing a voice inside my head. And not just thoughts, or insane thoughts. An actual voice. This was real, I was in prison. And possibly even going to be transferred to Arkham.

 _Harley, you know what you want to do?_

 _You want to stay in prison, forget about The Joker. He doesn't love you anymore. Or, alternatively make everyone believe you're really insane, then you'll get transferred to Arkham._

"Why the hell would I want to do that!" I shouted at myself.

My therapist looked at me.

"Is something wrong, Miss Quinn?"

"Oh call me Harley, everyone does"

"Is something wrong, Harley?"

"No, mind your own damn business lady!"

"You look like you're going through a lot, why don't you tell me about what you're feeling? I'm here to help"

That line 'i'm here to help' just reminded me of my past. I'm not that person anymore but it was like a trigger in my brain. I hated it.

 _C'mon Harley, she's here to help. You know you need it. God damn look at your messy ass, right state you are hahaha!_

"SHUT UP!" I screamed, shaking my head violently.

"Harley? Who are you talking to?" I didn't answer. "Please, talk to me"

"The only thing I'm gonna say to you is get the hell out of my way before I shove this down your throat!" I held up a knife.

How did I get the knife? They missed the one I always keep hidden in my bra. Tehehe.

 _You're such a sick little girl. Don't you want to show everyone just how strong you are? You don't need 'Mister J' why would you ever need someone to tell you about how powerful you are? Heck you could take over the entire Arkham Asylum in one day. I bet you want to. Nah, I know you want to. Go on, give this dog a bone...answer her questions, get shoved in a cell and rot. Or, take action and escape._

"Will you leave me alone!" I shouted.

The psychiatric professional seemed concerned at my random shouting. Understandably so, but I didn't want her opinion on how 'sick' I was.

"Don't call me sick! I'm not sick!" "You better tell ya boss I'm not sick so I can go back to my puddin!"

 _But he doesn't love you. Face it, he abandoned you and left you to rot in this god forsaken prison. If he loved you, wouldn't he at least send you a gift?_

"I understand you're upset, you're feeling lost, empty. But it's alright, we can help you. Please...don't get yourself into anymore trouble. Don't become the person that was made. Be the person that you are."

"This is who I am" I said, smiling whilst moving close to the psychiatrist with the knife in my hand.

She panicked. I could see her fear, and like Mistah J... I loved it.

"Harley...please...please don't."

She tried to call for help but the line had been disconnected from her radio communications device. She was stuck in here with me.

And I was going to kill her.

"Don't beg, any sympathy I had has already gon'! You don't understand do ya? You all try and help us but ya don't actually help! You poke around in our brains sure but that's not helpin'! It never helped! It didn't help me! And it certainly won't help you..." I get her by the scruff of her neck and put the blade close to her skin. "How does it feel? Being close ta death? I betcha feel right cozy now don't ya!"

"Harley...Let me go, this isn't going to change anything. This won't change what's happened. Your past was unfortunate...I-I get that, but you've got to understand I'm here for your benefit. Please...let me help you, i'll even make you a promise. I promise that I will help you through this tough time, and that you will not be treated as a criminal. But as my patient, I will make sure you're not in a cell, you can come and go as you please to my sessions. But I think you know the right thing to do."

 _Kill her! Go on!_

 _You know you want to, stop denying it._

 _Prove to this bitch that you're capable of killing. Make her fear you._

"But why would I?" I asked myself.

 _Because The Joker wants you to do it._

That name was like poison in my brain now. Enough was enough.

"No! I don't take orders anymore! This woman don't deserve ta die..."

I moved the knife away from her neck and threw it at the wall behind me. Angrily, I held my head in my hands and sat on the chair near the desk. It took her a few minutes to realize that I had just spared her pathetic life. For no reason but mercy.

I'm not a murderer.

She composed herself and then sat back down at the desk. She rubbed her hand on her face and began...peeling off her face?

Oh shit...Oh shit... I grabbed the knife which was still in the wall and got up from my chair, the chair fell backwards.

"Tada!" After 'she' revealed her actual identity my heart pulsated quickly and violently in my chest. "I was with you until you didn't kill her, Harley. I'm disappointed...truly I am. And I think you'll find you do take orders, my dear. And you'll keep taking orders if you don't want your pretty face to be covered in scars and bruises. Understand?"

"Yes sir" I said nervously, dropping the knife.

Praying he wasn't going to kill me.

Somehow...it was The Joker.


	10. Trust Issues

_**TRUST ISSUES**_

He planned this from the start, I knew it! I was powerless against him and although I wanted to kill him for what he did to me. Part of me forgave him.

My face was angry. Furious.

"Now now, I know I left you but that was all part of my plan you see? I was always going to come and get you pumpkin pie. It was a test, it was a set up from the start. This is Arkham Asylum, It's been abandoned for years. The officers and guards were my thugs in disguise. And the beautiful female psychiatrist? Oh that was all me. I got you good!"

His laughter made me want to kill him more.

How dare he use my past against me like that.

"But how did you do it?" I asked, I was really interested in how he actually got away with it.

"Easy. I stole bats' voice synthesizer device, it allowed me to change my voice to that of another female. Of course it'd be too obvious if I was trying to pretend, so I used gadgets and some very good friends of mine" he smiled, looking pleased with himself.

 _He did this to you? What are you doing, Harley? Just end it. End it all. The madness, the insanity, the betrayal. The laughter. End it all with one quick motion. You can't consider falling for this rubbish right? You're better than that! You're smart...well you were smart. Kinda gullible now really but hey, just do something already. You're getting boring and predictable._

I went to pick up the knife from the floor. The Joker had already claimed it with his foot which was standing on the blade.

He looked at me in disgust.

"You were actually going to try and kill me? Harley...that's a new one, even for you. I guess when I was thinking you were my Harley Quinn...but maybe I was wrong. Huh. Who'd have thought it? Well, I can always kill you and find another...more suitable candidate for the role. But please, if you insist on killing me. Go ahead. By all means try" he smiled as he kicked the knife over to me.

I bent down and picked it up. Clasping the handle in my palm, I felt a split in my thought: kill him or kiss him.

How would I be able to decide?

 _The Joker's Perspective:_

Of course she wants to, but she doesn't have the guts to kill me. I can see it in her eyes. They're fixed on me, fixed on the knife. Though under my manipulation, I can make her do anything.

I'm not worried.

Harley threw the knife at the wall. Hmm, same spot as last time. Interesting choice.

"Are you finished having a mental breakdown now?" I asked. Unsurprisingly she didn't answer, just stood there looking pathetic. Heh, I guess she's more broken than I thought. "I could give you some time to calm down, if you'd prefer. There's a nice cell there with your name on it. No, literally. Look!" I pointed at Harley's old office.

Quite a snug little room, would suit her perfectly. She looked and rolled her eyes at me.

Maybe I went too far?

Personally, I don't think I went far enough.

I walked over to her and hugged her. She gradually gave into my affection and put her arms around me. I don't think she realizes it. But she'll _never_ stop loving me. I felt her tears. My top had wet patches on it after she finished crying on me.

Crying over me.

I look at her distraught face. Bless her, she's been through a lot. I decided to give her something.

"Harley, I was going to send this to you if you were ever in prison. I thought you would've killed them all before they even had the chance to put you in the police car let alone actually get arrested. But that's beside the point. Here." I handed her a custom made jacket. Half blue, half red baseball jacket with 'Property of Joker' in yellow writing on the back. "I thought it'd remind you of me" I said.

She took the jacket from my hands and tried it on. Her face said it all, a beaming smile and the overwhelming urge to knock me senseless.

My Harley was back. She loved the custom-made jacket too.

And then...our fun was spoiled. I got a call on my phone. I answered.

"Uh, boss. We've got a problem" the voice said.

Sounded like one of my thugs.

"What is it?"

"You remember that bomb you set up in the Asylum?"

"Yeah...oh shit!"

"Your call, boss. You can either disarm it or escape. Either way, clock's ticking"

The call ended. I grabbed Harley's hand and dragged her out of the room, forcing her legs to run at the same pace as mine. She removed her hand from mine and looked at me.

"What's goin' on?" she asked.

"Look, this is really not the time...we need to get out of here now!"

She nodded and linked her hand back up to mine. I dragged her to the door. The bomb was beeping to signal the near end of the countdown before detonation.

Beep...beep...beep.

That was the final second.

The bomb exploded.

Harley and I were blasted out of the way of the door and landed on the ground outside of the now burning Arkham Asylum. I tried to get up. I struggled to get to my feet.

I wandered over to Harley.

She was unconscious.

I could hear sirens in the distance. Great...the police and the fire department.

I had a choice to make. Save Harley or save myself.

With regret, I ran away from Harley's body...like a coward.

 _Harley Quinn's Perspective:_

Ugh...I felt like I just got hit by an explosion. I looked up dizzily.

I did just get hit by an explosion.

I saw the burning flames of Arkham Asylum. That's why he was trying to get me out of the building. Did Mistah J rig this place to blow...with me inside? No...no, even he's not that mean. I saw him running away from me.

He...he just left me there...to die.

I couldn't find the energy to sit upright but I managed to look at the rubble made from the explosion. I was apparently just a bit of debris.

Worthless.

I looked around, paramedics, fire fighters, police officers were all coming towards me. Two of the paramedics lifted me onto a hospital stretcher. The fire fighters were using all of their effort to put out the scorching blaze. The police officers, surprisingly weren't interested in me this time and were just assessing the crime scene.

"Hey, are you alright?" the paramedic asked me.

"I...I don't know...maybe?" I was disorientated, in shock.

I hope nothing serious has been damaged.

Besides my heart. When I get out of hospital... 'Mistah J' is going to wish I killed him during that therapy session.


	11. Psycho Boyfriend

_**PSYCHO BOYFRIEND**_

 _The Joker's Perspective:_

I'm sitting on my chair, twiddling a knife in-between my fingers. I can't believe I left Harley to die.

I hope she's alright.

I'm such a selfish asshole, but that's what she loves about me. No matter what, she'll keep coming back for more. Her obsession drives her and it makes her predictable...I can tell she's going to try coming after me for revenge. Even if she hires someone to do it for her. Hmm...I wonder if I can get her back on my side? Ha! Of course I can. I've always got a plan.

"SELINA?" I shout. The cat has been in my custody in this little room for a while. Not necessarily a prisoner...more of an untrustworthy acquaintance. I wander over to her. She's asleep, curled up and comfy in her small pet bed. "For god sake you've had 10 hours of your precious kitty sleep so get the hell up!" I shout.

Catwoman groans and stretches as she wakes up. She looks at me.

"I was sleeping. You shouldn't interrupt a cat when she's sleeping, it'd get you in a lot of trouble." she said, standing up and stretching some more.

"No more trouble than I could cause you, I could end your nine lives right now if I wanted to." I reassured her. I was the one in charge.

"Touche, J." she crossed her arms and looked at me. "So what do you want now? Some more playtime? I thought you had enough fun with me when you kidnapped me."

"Harley's possibly dead. Probably not, but she's hurt." I said, with a bit of fake concern mixed into my verbal tone.

"What happened to her?" she asked.

"I left her"

"YOU WHAT?" she looked at me in shock and anger. "How could you do that to poor Harley?" she wanted to scratch me.

But she didn't.

"I didn't have a choice! It was save her or save myself" I sighed. "I saved myself, I couldn't risk getting caught by the cops...not again"

"J, you've escaped from that shit-asylum more times than I can count. That's no excuse for what you did. You should've saved her"

"Arkham Asylum was destroyed...I destroyed it...The idea was I would've detonated it and Harley wouldn't be in there. But she let that officer arrest her, I have no idea why." "I've done some shit to the poor girl, yeah. But the way she looked at me whilst I was running away... She might as well have killed me there and then"

"I understand why you would want to destroy that place. But why would you consider letting Harley get hurt in the process?"

"It was a test for her which I set up...which went wrong, the detonation sequence was one minute shorter than I set it for. Unless..." I paused. Thinking. "Unless someone tampered with it and altered the timer." I said slowly.

I panicked.

Harley was in danger.

I grabbed my maroon shirt and put it on, unbuttoning it at the top to show off my chest. Just like Harley did. I fastened my holster straps over my body and grabbed a small silver revolver from the table. I checked the magazine for bullets. Five bullets. I'd have to plan carefully, I only have a limited amount of weapons and ammunition since Arkham Asylum was my main storage...and it's now destroyed. I didn't exactly think that bombing through...but still. I fastened the gun in the holster and threw on my purple trench-coat in a hurry.

"I really need your help. We've got to save Harley" I tried to reason with the cat criminal. "She's in serious trouble"

"Oh, so now you care about her? You should've thought of that before you betrayed her. Time and time again." she rolled her eyes at me and looked at her claws. She moved her hand around and flexed her fingers. "I care enough to help her, but I won't help you. Not after the way you've treated me, Harley...and all the other girls you bring back here."

"Fine...whatever. But we have to hurry."

"Why the rush? Don't you normally plot your next move?" she asked suspiciously.

"No time, Harley's either dead or in hospital."

"And you intend to free her just so you can torment her again? I don't think so. Let me go and get her. I'll play nice. Promise" she smiled at me.

Could I trust the cat to retrieve her in one piece? But then...what sort of person sends out a mercenary to do Joker work? No way...I was going too. Either on my own or with Catwoman. Didn't matter to me, I had thugs.

I opened the door to step out and saw...hundreds of bodies. Surrounded by blood. There was a piece of paper on the floor.

It read:

'You treat her like a princess,

You give her nothing,

You left her to die,

I saw her tears,

I saw her fears.

She's lost her sanity,

Lost her humanity,

I've never seen a girl so broken,

But I'll take care of her,

Don't worry.

Love?

I don't think so.'

I scrunched up the piece of paper and yelled out loud "FUCK"

Selina walked up behind me and saw my rage. She put her hand on my shoulder and I shrugged it off angrily.

"J, you alright?" she asked nervously.

I shoved the piece of paper towards her. She took it. Whilst reading, her eyes widened and after she finished reading it...she cracked her whip in the air and gave me a nod to say she was on board with helping me.

"WHEN I FIND OUT WHO'S TAKEN MY HARLEY...I WILL PERSONALLY CUT OFF THEIR FINGERS SO THEY CAN'T WRITE ANYMORE THREATENING POEMS!" I yelled. "And then I'll kill them slowly..." I gritted my teeth together.

"You weren't joking...she really is in trouble." "Alright, count me in...let's go and get her back." she stopped and looked at me seriously. "But promise me. PROMISE ME you'll stop torturing her."

"I promise" I said whilst crossing my fingers behind my back.

I can't promise that. But I can try.


	12. Different Girl

_**DIFFERENT GIRL**_

 _Harley Quinn's Perspective:_

"She's waking up!" the nurse called out. The nurse was a fairly young woman, tall, dressed in medical work clothing.

"Huh...what? Where...where am I?" I asked slowly. My eyes were fuzzy and I couldn't quite understand what was going on. "Who are you...why am I here?" I tried to stay calm, but as I started coming to...I realized I was in the hospital.

"Hey, try and relax Miss Quinn. You're in Gotham General Hospital. You've been out for a couple of days. We were worried we'd lost you." the nurse explained.

"What?" I looked around whilst remaining in a lying position. I was in my own private room, on a hospital bed. "I'm guessing you're gonna send me back to prison...right?" I said sadly.

"Not quite, you need to be examined by the Doctor thoroughly before we can confirm you're healthy enough to leave. As for your criminal past, we don't worry about that. The law can decide when you're feeling better. For now, you need to rest."

"Where's Mistah J?" I asked, sadly and angrily at the same time.

"We don't know. His whereabouts hasn't been confirmed for the past month or so."

"You said I was only out for a couple of days"

"You were, but that doesn't alter the fact that The Joker hasn't been located for at least a month. Even during the explosion, he fled from the crime-scene.

I grunted "I know, he left me ta die..."

"Sorry. That must've been hard on you"

"Don't bother givin' me ya sympathy." "It won't make me feel any better"

"Right, well I'll see if I can find the doctor. One moment" she said as she walked away from my bed.

This is great...just great. What's the damage I wonder? But despite the explosion I'm still alive, right now I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I bet Mistah J doesn't even care that I could've died. That I nearly died. The fact that I was out for two days makes me wonder how bad the explosion was, and how much it affected both me...and my brain.

 _Hey Harley._

 _Guess who?_

 _That's right, I'm still here. God I didn't think you could look any worse but take a look at the number that explosion did on you!_

 _You know what? I'd order the doctor to just kill you. I mean you're such in such an emotional and physical state it'd surprise me if you survive the night._

"SHUT UP!" I yelled out. The doctor approached me. Clearly, he heard my shouting."Oh...Sorry. The voice in my head...it tells me some crazy shit hahahahahahahaha!" I laughed uncontrollably whilst laying on the bed.

"Nurse! NURSE!" the Doctor called out.

The same female nurse came running towards the yelling.

"What's wrong, Doctor?" the nurse asked.

"Hahahahahahahahaha" I continued laughing. I couldn't control the laughter. "I'm such an idiot! Hahahahahahahahahahaha" and it continued.

"I need a low dosage of XOS and a syringe with a medium needle head. NOW"

The nurse ran and got the chemical and syringe. Two millilitres of XOS chemical formula was measured precisely and loaded into the syringe.

She gave it to the Doctor. He injected it into my wrist. I felt the prick of the needle as it pierced my skin. Reminded me of Mistah J when he was torturing me, the tattoo needle he used. It felt the same.

I felt myself calming down.

But then an accelerated urge of violence overcame me.

"Funny, last time someone poked me with a needle and tried to experiment on me...ended up dead" I looked at the doctor. He had terror in his eyes. "I'll ask you again...Where's Mistah J?"

The doctor looked around the room in panic, he couldn't understand why I wasn't calm. The 'XOS' formula should've calmed me.

Clearly the idiotic medical staff didn't know I'm immune from most chemicals and toxins. They just anger me. I removed the syringe from my arm.

"Doctor, what's happening?" the nurse asked.

"I...I..don't know...I thought this would calm her down?"

"WHERE IS THE JOKER?" I found myself losing patience and raising my voice higher.

"Please...Miss Quinn...I...I assure you we don't know where he is...you have to calm down though...you'll hurt yourself"

I sat up on the bed and laughed to myself. I'll get hurt? Yeah, right. I pulled all the medical wires and equipment out from my body and got up.

"Miss...please get back in your bed...you're ill. You need to rest"

That was it. The final trigger.

"I...AM...NOT...ILL! I am so sick of you good fer nothin' doctors thinkin' ya know me inside an' out! Well ya bloody well don't do ya?" I shouted.

"She seems...angry" the nurse observed.

"Oh...angry don't even begin ta cover it!" I shouted, moving closer to the Doctor who had now backed away from me. "What's da matter? Doctor scared of a little blood?"

"What blood?" he asked.

I threw the needle at the doctor. It pierced through his clothes and into his chest.

"That blood tehehe" I giggled. Nighty night doctor useless! I got a boyfriend ta kill."

I got up close to the nurse and threatened her.

"You want ta end up like him?" "No? Then keep ya damn mouth shut!"

The nurse cowered in fear. She tucked herself into the corner and hid, she was crying. She wasn't going to do anything, so I let her live.

"This was fun, but I'm feeling much better now so I'll just see myself out, mmk?" I said, walking out of the door of my room. "I'm coming for you 'puddin'" I said under my breath.


	13. Literature

_**LITERATURE**_

Outside of the hospital room, the corridor was empty. I could hear screaming in the distance. I walked towards it curiously.

The operating theatre. Of course...what are they doing in there? They sound in pain.

 _What do you care about if someone's in pain or not?_

 _You're a criminal_

 _Not a fucking hero._

 _Just leave them alone, get out of here._

 _Or, go in there and kill everyone._

Meh. I kicked open the door and saw the doctors and nurses operating on...oh fuck me.

I walked in and grabbed a knife from the operating tools and wielded it close to me. I shoved it close to their faces and grabbed one of them to interrogate.

"WHY ARE YOU OPERATING ON HER?" I asked loudly.

"Please...I...I'm only doing what I was told to do..." the surgeon responded nervously.

"Who gave the order!" I put the knife closer to the surgeon's neck.

"It was...it was Doctor Maxwell Wright! Please... Please let me go!"

"Doctor Wright?" Who tha hell is that?" I waved the knife towards the other staff. "Any of you speak English?"

"I...I only know his name...I don't know anything else." the surgeon continued.

"Oh will ya shut up please! Ya voice is whining and its annoying ya know" I rolled my eyes and threw him on the floor. "Ya better get this gal out of this room in 10 seconds or i'll kill all of ya!"

"But...but...the procedure isn't complete...if we remove her from the room as she is...she'll die"

"Trust me, she won't die." "NOW DO IT"

"Ok...Ok...take it easy" he said as he and the other surgeons moved the equipment away and disconnected the tubes and wires from the woman on the operating table.

The woman...was Pamela Isley also known as Poison Ivy.

I walked over to her.

"H...Harley?" she asked.

"Mhm. I heard someone screaming but I couldn't believe it was you."

"What's happening?"

"XOS, they were pumping it into you. It's a toxin. I knew that when they injected it into me It made me angry. I recognized the feeling when Mistah J injected me with something similar...but this XOS is much stronger. It can be harmless at first but at a high enough dosage...it can kill you. These idiots were putting enough inside your body to kill you instantly. About another 100 ml ingested and you'd be dead right now. So, ya know...you're welcome."

"Come again?"

"Nasty chemical that can kill ya" I said sarcastically.

"Oh...well that figures...just someone else trying to kill me. Who is it this time?"

"Someone called Doctor Maxwell Wright. Max Wright...I can't help but think I recognize that name" I said.

"Can you walk?" I asked.

"Yes." she replied, stumbling slightly as she got up.

We walked outside of the operating theatre room and I noticed something on the wall. Words...written on the wall...in blood.

It read:

'My ears are burning,

You talking about me?

Girl you're curious,

I can't believe you're thinking,

You can stop my reasoning,

And fault the hand that wields the knife.

When the blade is on your grave,

Who will be there to save you?

Nobody important.'

"What's that, some kind of riddle? Has Nigma been writing all over every single wall in this city now?" Ivy asked.

"No...no it's not a riddle. It's a poem" I realized.

"So a murderer similar to The Riddler who uses poems instead of riddles?"

"But there are no clues, so it's not as useful as a riddle" I sighed.

This was some creepy stuff, someone wanting to kill me. And it wasn't just a joke. That was obvious. So it wasn't Mistah J.

"My ears are burning" I said, thinking about the connection between our conversation and the line of the poem. "You don't think...?" I paused.

"Maxwell Wright?" she answered.

"Wright...write? As in...writing a poem! Oh my god. This guy is a crazy shit insane doctor, murderer and crazy psychopathic poet?" I said nervously.

We walked down the corridor further and saw another...another verse of the poem.

It read:

'Curiosity is a blessing,

And a curse.

I'd avoid investigating,

It might get you hurt.

Would I lie to you?

Maybe I would.

Would I hurt you?

Maybe I would.

Would I kill you?'

The last line of the poem was smudged so I couldn't read what it said. Well...I kinda wish Mistah J were here now. He'd murder this so called poet and then we'd be back together.

 _How can you consider getting back together with The Joker? Are you seriously that gullible?_

"This is getting weird." I said

"You can say that again" Ivy replied.

"This is getting-"

"It's a saying, I didn't want you to say it again." she interrupted.


	14. Poisonous

_**POISONOUS**_

 _Poison Ivy's Perspective:_

For the first time, Harley was worried. Normally she's bouncing along playing with her hair and doesn't care about anything. Something was different about her.

This I knew.

"Thanks for saving me by the way" I smiled at her. It was the least I could say for saving my life.

"Don't mention it, Red. I gotcha back ya know that" she smiled back.

"But I'd really love to get out of here, it's giving me chills" I said.

"Yeah, I've had enough'a these places for one day" she paused and turned to me. "But how did ya manage to get yourself in that position anyway?" "I thought ya hid in a garden and sang to yourself all day"

We walked out of the Hospital building and continued talking outside.

I giggled "Not quite" I sighed. "I was minding my own business at the Botanical Gardens when Joker asked me for help"

"He asked you for help? If I find out he's been behind this I'm gonna-" she was starting to get angry.

I interrupted her. "As I was saying...Joker asked me for help to find you. He's worried about you, Harley." "But I had to decline his invitation because earlier I got a call from Batman saying he needed my help. He said to meet him in Gotham General Hospital."

"And you didn't find it suspicious that B-man wanted help?"

"It wasn't the first time he's asked for my help." "So...naturally I told Joker I was busy, he had Catwoman anyway so he was fine. But it wasn't until I got to the hospital that I realized it was a trap. I was drugged and then before I knew it, you rescued me from that operating room."

"So it wasn't B-man?" Harley asked me curiously.

"No, clearly someone faked his voice or maybe even forced him to say it to get me out of my gardens and walk straight into the trap."

"But why did they want you specifically? I thought ya weren't the sort of girl who gets kidnapped all the time?"

"True, but the XOS formula like you said would've killed me. I'm dangerous when I'm angry, they were either manipulating me so they could take advantage of my plants or wanting to get rid of me so I wasn't a threat anymore." I sighed again, looking at Harley. "I overheard them talking, they were coming for you next. And then Selina."

"Why only the females?" she asked.

"I don't know" I said.

It was really suspicious, and I intended to find out what was going on. Not only this, but that bastard Maxwell Wright had a few questions to answer. And I knew he wasn't going to come quietly.

That's fine by me.

"I organized us some transport. Problem is though, you probably won't like the chauffeur" I said, pointing at the vehicle.

There it was, the legendary Batmobile. The caped crusader. The Dark Knight himself came to my aid when I was the damsel in distress. I gave him a discreet signal to follow just in case I was ever in trouble. He always turns up unannounced, but this time... I needed his help.

Batman stepped out of the vehicle and walked up to the door where me and Harley were standing. He didn't seem pleased. But that was understandable, two criminals for the price of one but he knew he didn't have any authority over me this time. I had a real reason for his detective expertise.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"I got caught in a trap and nearly died...but yeah I'm fine" I replied.

"What?"

"You called me and said you needed help and that you wanted to meet me in Gotham General Hospital. Or at least...I think it was you" I explained.

"That wasn't me. Someone tricked you."

"No shit, bat-brain" Harley interrupted our conversation.

"And why is Harley here?" he asked, looking at Harley's awkward smile.

"It's a long story"

"I rescued her!" Harley said proudly.

"Hmmph. I didn't realize Joker abandoned Harley like that"

"Hey! Mistah J didn't abandon me!" Harley butted in.

"Harley...I literally just said Joker was worried about you, but if he didn't abandon you then we wouldn't be in this situation. Would we?"

Harley stood there sulking to herself. I think she knew that Joker didn't care about her anymore, but she wouldn't give up on him. Despite all the horrible things he's done to her...she always goes back for more.

"Listen, I don't normally ask for help but I'm really concerned...when Harley rescued me from the operating theatre we saw verses of poems written on the walls. But we think it's someone called Doctor Maxwell Wright. Do you know that name"

"Yes. Known criminal, doctor like you said. Produces a chemical called XOS, manipulating the female body after death. High enough dosage leads to permanent death in which the body can be used for experimental or medical purposes."

"But why only females?"

"Because female body parts and DNA are the most demanded on the black market" a voice said. "The females are all a target to Doctor Wright, starting with the well known and tough chicks. Their parts are worth more than gold" the voice continued as he walked towards us.

The man who was leaning against the wall overheard our conversation and decided to start drawing up yet more questions for us to answer. I think he was a doctor, but I couldn't tell. He had a black tuxedo and his face was scarred, his left eye was missing.


	15. Black Market

_**BLACK MARKET**_

 _Doctor Maxwell Wright's Perspective:_

Business is good on the Black Market, parts and bodies. Living or dead. They all sell for a pretty penny. My job, is to maximise the profit and let people have what they want. All men want a pretty girl, why not give them one? I don't care what they do with them, that's not my problem. But if they don't pay...then we have a problem.

"Miss Kyle, would you like to know how you ended up in my care?" I asked, looking at Selina in her barred cell.

The Black Market was both a prison and a thriving business. I held the potential candidates in cells out the back, and then the auctions at the front of the building. I could always get away with it too, nobody suspected a simple nightclub to be such a dangerous place for young women.

"Another failed attempt of Harv or Eddie trying to torture me?" she answered sarcastically.

I don't like sarcasm. Or a sense of humour.

"Mmm, no. You're here because I kidnapped you from your previous loving owner, The Joker? If that's his name." "But it's alright, you're safe here." I assured her. "For now..." I whispered under my breath as I turned around and walked away from her cell.

Poetry was always a hobby of mine, I try and keep my victims guessing...it's more interesting that way. They can't predict my planning and they sometimes get so bored of my poetry that they try and kill themselves. Though my poems aren't to be confused with riddles. Riddles? Ugh no, they're way worse than poems.

I'm flattered that everyone thinks I'm the so called 'poetic murderer' really, I am. But that's not me, it's just a hobby. I don't love the hobby enough to become associated with it. That doesn't mean I won't take advantage of their suspicions though. I might be able to use this to scare the general public.

"Can you just kill me and get it over with? I really have better things to be doing right now than listening to you. Don't you think I've heard enough of your whining voice?" she asked, groaning.

"In time, cat. In time..." I said.

I walked up the stairs and slammed the door shut behind me. It was auction time. My favourite money-making business with hundreds of paying customers willing to pay me up front for such beautiful women. I straightened my tie and presented myself to the crowd.

I picked up the microphone from the security guard and walked up onto the stage. The stage was like a catwalk, I let the few lucky girls model themselves on it if they behaved. The naughty ones? They stay out back.

They're for...more personal uses.

Catwoman, Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy and all the other well known criminals, vigilantes and heroes will be top of the list of pre-orders. Pre-orders for what? Oh, that's the best part! My customers will decide what they're used for. Parts, maybe. Sex? Maybe. That's not my decision. What is my decision, however is what I choose to do with them in the meantime, I got Catwoman already caged up, it won't be long before her girlfriends want to try and rescue her.

Anyway, I have a crowd to address.

"Hello everyone! Welcome to a very special auction. This week only, I'm offering you the chance to buy not one, not two, but three beautiful girls for one special package price! First come, first served...believe me you do not want to miss out on this spectacular offer." I started. I walked up to the three women in chains standing on the stage. "Who do we have here?" "Three incredibly gorgeous girls ready for your bidding, ladies and gentlemen!" I took my hand and clenched one of the girl's jaws in a threatening way. "Don't disappoint me, sweetie" I said, laughing to myself.

"Hell yeah! I'd slap that ass!" one of the buyers shouted.

"Fuck you man, I got my eye on those girls" another buyer replied, directing his attention to the other buyer.

"You wanna go, mate?" the buyer said, getting up close to the other buyer.

"I aint your mate, asshole" the buyer replied, shoving the other.

"Call me that again, go on! Say that to my fucking face! I dare you!" the buyer commented, starting to threaten violence towards the other buyer.

"Security" I proclaimed.

Security members charged into the crowd and split the two fighting males apart. They restrained and punched them until they stopped trying to kill each other.

I walked down the stairs and into the crowd, I approached the previously fighting men.

"Are you pleased with yourselves?" I asked, angrily staring at them with my arms crossed. "I appreciate your enthusiasm but please, we do have rules in this establishment. I, for one would rather you two settle down and I give you another chance...but I think I have a better idea" I leant over to the security guards and whispered "Put them out back."

"But sir...only girls are-" one of the security guards started.

"Just do it" I interrupted.

"Yes sir" he replied.

The two security guards dragged the two men out back and through the door, they were kicking and screaming, trying to break free... but couldn't. Quite pathetic really, but then I think they need to learn some manners.

I can help with that.

I return back to the centre of the stage and continue.

"Sorry about that, ladies and gentlemen. Just a slight disturbance. I've... dealt with the troublemakers so now we may continue!"

"Let's start the bidding at $500!" I shout.

Suddenly, the door opens.

"I'll give you $10,000 if you let them go and all of the other girls you've kidnapped...you also get a free ticket to prison"

That deep...irritating voice.

Oh how joyous...The Dark Knight. Batman himself has joined the bidding for my auction. He thinks he's going to bribe me? Turn me in? I don't think so.

"Dark Knight, how wonderful of you to join in... such a _special_ auction." I say, smiling and secretly pulling out a switch-blade from my pocket. "You know, if I took off your mask and sold it, I'd be richer than you...not only that, but I'd be able to sell your parts...and your dignity. Everyone would know who the caped crusader was. I'd be rich and famous...and well...you'd be dead" I flip the blade out and hold it behind my back. "You can't save everyone, Dark Knight. You have a choice. You can save these three beautiful women, the crowd of money grabbing buyers you're standing in or dear Selina Kyle who's tied up out back. Choose wisely, Dark Knight."

"What have you done..." Batman asks, angrily looking at me.

"What have I done? Well, you spoilt the auction. You try and take me to jail and to top it all off. You make false bids. Now that's really a waste of your time, my time and everyone's time" I put the blade close to one of the girl's throats. "Move, and I slit her throat. Don't move, and...well the crowd might beat you senseless anyway...after all, this is their only fun place to hangout in the evenings. Gotta expect some excitement once in a while, right?" I bring out a detonator from my other pocket. "I can control which room to destroy first, maybe even both at once. Isn't that the fun of poems? Not knowing what they mean, but when you figure it out it's such a great feeling." I move my thumb close to one of the buttons. "I always wondered if you knew what you did to me. Not physically, mentally. When you failed to save my wife in that house fire, I thought of how disappointing you were. My expectations didn't live up to reality. And so, here we are."

"Don't do this, Max. It's not worth it."

"No, Dark Knight. Your life isn't worth it, their lives aren't worth it." I slice the girl's neck with the knife. "But your reaction, their reaction. Now that... that's worth every second"

"No!" Batman said, running towards the dying woman. He would knock anyone out of the way if he had to. "You monster..." he said, looking at me...wanting to hurt me. Would he kill me? No, he doesn't kill.

The crowd is screaming and frantically trying to get out of the building. Well... so much for _loyal_ customers.

"We're all monsters, in our own right. My type of monstrosity is just a little different to yours." I said, leaning down to Batman who was mourning over the injured girl.

All he ever does is regret. Why mourn over the events which have already happened? It's a boring way to live your life.

He grabbed me by the neck and started strangling me.

"You just killed an innocent woman. I may not kill you, but you are going to prison. That, I can guarantee." he said, whilst tightening his grip on my throat.

"You...don't...scare...me." I said slowly, as my body started to lose conciousness.

And then, darkness.


	16. The Dark Knight

_**THE DARK KNIGHT**_

 _Batman's Perspective:_

I place Max's unconscious body on the floor and signal the Batmobile to pick me up outside of the nightclub building. I'll load his body in the back and bring him to GCPD for lock-up.

Maxwell Wright doesn't strike me as a man who takes orders. Or even gives orders, he isn't that high up in the criminal chain and I doubt he's made it past the rank of a simple thug. Still, his power cannot be underestimated. He just killed a woman. An innocent woman. Interestingly... he seems similar to The Riddler. The same use of 'The Dark Knight' over and over. But no poems or riddles every five seconds, that's a step in the right direction at least.

My wrist communicator vibrates. An incoming call:

"Batman, are you alright?"

It was Ivy. She must want something, I doubt she's just calling for a chat.

"Ivy, why are you calling me?" I asked.

"I wanted to know if you heard anything more about Max Wright"

"I crashed an auction he was running. He has Selina locked up at the back of the building, I'll have to rescue her. Currently Max is unconscious and I'll be bringing him to the GCPD for further questioning."

"So did you find out if he's the mysterious poetry murderer then?"

"I can't confirm anything yet, I know he's dangerous"

"Don't forget about Selina, Harley's been bugging me for the past week asking me where she is. I said I don't know, but clearly our dear Maxwell had plans for her. I hope she's alright"

"Me too" I said, closing the communicator.

I looked behind me. Max was still lying there unconscious. Good, that's one less thing to worry about.

I walk towards the door near the back of the stage. I try the handle.

Locked. Of course...that'd be too easy.

I kick the door down.

Hmmph. Easy enough, no thugs.

I see...all of these girls, trapped in cages. Oh my god...Selina.

I walk towards her cage, nervously looking around at all of the other trapped girls. What monster would do this? This is horrible.

"Selina, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, bored...but fine. You took your time though, had something more important to do?"

"I had to deal with Mr Wright, he was going to kill you."

"Oh, so you _do_ care about my personal well-being?"

"Not now, Selina"

I try and find a way to open the cage. The only way is with a key. If each cage had a specific key...then that's going to be a lot of keys for a lot of cages. I also have to be careful of Maxwell Wright, I fear he would wake up soon.

I decide to call for some help. I dial some buttons on my wrist communicator.

"Batman?" the officer answered.

"I need you to send GCPD officers to the 'Smiles and Skies' nightclub in Gotham. Don't ask about the name, it was a cover up."

"What was the actual name?"

"The Brawler"

"That would make sense, no wonder they changed it"

"Like I said, it was a cover up. Please send some backup as soon as possible."

"Will do, is everything alright down there?"

"Nothing I can't handle" I said, ending the call.

I looked around for keys. No thugs...this was too easy. Surely Maxwell Wright would have some form of security or protection. Hmm.

"Dark Knight, you are naïve. You allow yourself to be taken advantage of. That, Dark Knight...That will be your downfall." Maxwell Wright...he was awake. "XOS gives me power. What does it give you, Dark Knight?"

XOS. He must've injected a dose into himself before the auction just in case I showed up. He's smarter than I thought.

"I don't need chemicals to beat you." I said raising my fists.

"You keep believing that" he replied smugly.

His body type remained normal, but he showed an increased resistance and strength to my attacks. Each hit was shrugged off and he hit back harder. Similar techniques which defeated Joker's Titan formula didn't work either. Was XOS stronger than Titan?

"What is XOS? Tell me!" I shouted whilst shaking him violently.

"You're the detective...you tell me"

"I'm losing my patience with you, tell me!"

"You don't control me, Dark Knight. Do what you will with me, my reign will continue forever." he said hysterically. He pressed a button on the detonator.

It wasn't a detonator. It was a remote.

Selina's cell opened. She walked out of the barred cell and into the auction area where me and Max were fighting.

"Want to know your motivation? Cat here might be free but see this..." he paused, showing me Selina's wrist. It had a scarred area where an implant was placed inside of her skin. "This ties the Cat to this nightclub." he pressed another button on the remote. The other cells containing the rest of the imprisoned girls opened. "Same goes with the rest of these girls. If one of them steps out of this building, Gotham suffers. Whose hands are dirty now, Dark Knight?"

Good god...he was more monstrous than I originally thought.

"I'm sorry..." Selina said.

I was confused. Why was she sorry?

"Selina, what's wrong?"

"I killed him" she replied, looking at her blood covered claws.

"You...what? Killed who?" I asked inquisitively.

"Two guys were brought back here earlier for fighting in my auction, Dark Knight. The cat got bored, so I let her play with them. Wasn't expecting her to be so rough when she was playing with them though."

I walked back through to the cell-block at the back of the building. I could see the two festering bodies of the male victims in Selina's cell.

"He made me do it. I'm sorry, Batman" Selina said sadly.

"What did you do to her?" I asked angrily.

"I did many things. But we're only just getting started here." he said, breaking out of my choke-hold. "The legacy of The Batman ends tonight. I've invited your friends to witness your death."

Suddenly, the doors opened. His thugs...of course. They had Harley and Ivy restrained in their arms.

"Let them go! Now."

"I don't think so" he said, signalling his thugs to bring the two prisoners forward. "I know you've been making contact with these two. You can't hide it from me."

"B-MAN? I'm gonna-" Harley started saying, before the thug put his hand over her mouth.

Ivy whispered to Harley "Save it, Harley. I got a plan" "Hey, pretty boy. How about you let me and Harley go? We're no use to you, the bat is your real competition" she said.

I stared at him angrily.

"Charming, if you don't think highly of our guests here, how about I add another one into the mix?" he snapped his fingers.

Two more of his thugs came out and restrained Selina.

"What have you got against the girls?"

"Nothing" he replied. "I got a problem with you though."

"Then let them go, this is between you and me."

"You can't beat me, you know that and yet you insist on saving many more lives before yours ends. Heroic but predictable. Very well...boys: let the cat go."

"All of them!" I said angrily.

"You're in no position to push me about, Dark Knight."

"I wouldn't get on his bad side, Max. He gets really nasty when he's angry" Selina commented.

"Yeah, so do I" Ivy said, whilst summoning her plants. Vines. Huge vines ripped through the roof and into the building. The thugs restraining Ivy let her go. She was angry, unstable. But maybe she was the best weapon against XOS. "Last chance, let us go...Or else." she said, commanding her plants to kill the thugs.

At this point, I didn't object to her methods. His behaviour was inexcusable. Plus, if Ivy, Selina or Harley Quinn hurt Maxwell Wright, my hands would at least be clean. I wouldn't let them kill him, though.

He has too many questions to answer first.


	17. Honourable Actions

_**HONOURABLE ACTIONS**_

 _Poison Ivy's Perspective:_

I killed the thugs restraining my friends... I knew Batman wouldn't. Even the biggest of enemies have to work together at some point. This...might be the day. Despite mine and Selina's neutral relationship and Harley's hatred towards Batman, this asshole needs to die. Batman won't kill him, that's fine. I'll take the wrap for him.

I'm not ashamed about it.

"Max, give up. You're outnumbered" I said.

"Make that double out-numbered." Harley added.

"Mr Wright, I haven't enjoyed your company. Even Harv' gives me more of a nice view than a prison cell." Selina stated.

"When you're outnumbered

Do you cower in the corner?

Make yourself known?

Small?

Rise up at the brink of opportunity

And keep them guessing" Max said.

I'm so sick of his poems. I'm ending this.

I direct my plant vines to kill the bastard. I was expecting resistance from Batman advising me against it, he just stood there watching me. Letting me do it. I wrap the vines around Max's body and lift him up.

"You were warned" I said angrily.

"I took heed of your warning, Ivy

You don't scare me.

Predictable

Notable

Unexpected...perhaps

But ultimately pathetic." Max gave me another poem verse.

"Tell me, 'Maxwell' who are you really?"

"Oh well done, you finally broke me" he said sarcastically. "You know who I am, you seem so sure of yourselves. All of you think you've really cornered me and yet don't seem to remember I took a dosage of XOS before our Dark Knight here crashed my auction." he said, trying to struggle out from my plants.

"Poison Ivy, your one weakness it would seem" I said, smirking.

"Ivy...how did you-?" Batman started.

"I never reveal my secrets, Batman" I winked. "Your XOS formula was almost perfect. You didn't consider my plants create toxins of their own though, the toxins which can provide immunity to your chemical."

"Oh shit..." he said.

"Now you're in trouble" Harley said, giggling.

"I'm taking him in" Batman said.

"You didn't step in when I was about to kill him, why step in now?"

"Because I think the GCPD will want to question him further"

"Please tell me you didn't call the GCPD here...?"

"I didn't have a choice, Maxwell Wright had to be detained somehow"

"If those cops come in here an' try and arrest me again i'll knock em' out!" Harley shouted "And don't think this makes us even, B-MAN. Cuz' it doesn't"

"Harley makes a point, what about us? You just going to let them take us back to prison or another mental institute?"

"Your actions here are notable, but It's out of my hands." Batman replied.

GCPD officers burst through the doors with firearms in their hands. They pointed them at each of us, except Batman. That was to be expected.

"GCPD! Hands up!" one of the officers shouted.

If they insist...I put my hands up and directed my plants towards the police officers.

"Ivy, no!" Batman shouted, stepping in front of me.

I sighed, putting my hands up without causing the plants to brutally murder the police officers.

"You can't arrest us! We haven't even done anythin'! It's a fix I tell ya! We saved B-MAN's life!" Harley shouted as the officer attempted to handcuff her, she of course was having none of it.

"Yes bravo, the well known vigilante required help from three girls because he was too soft and cowardice to kill me himself. Bravo indeed, Dark Knight" Max said sarcastically.

I tightened the vine around Max which made him be quiet. I can't stand his annoying voice any longer than I have to. I certainly won't let Batman or these police officers take us back to prison either.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but Maxwell Wright is the only one you will be arresting today."

"But, these three girls are well known villains! They've committed so many crimes how could you even excuse them for all that they have done before this slight act of heroism?" the officer asked Batman.

"I will deal with them, just arrest Mr Wright" Batman said.

"Alright fine, but I got my eye on you ladies" the officer said, lowering his weapon. The other officers lowered their weapons too.

They approached my vine which was holding Max and looked at me.

"You want me to release this criminal into your custody. Are you sure about that?" I asked.

"Ivy makes a point. Whilst XOS is active in his body, he'll be dangerous. Ivy is the only one who can contain his power until the effect wears off"

"Great..." I said sarcastically.

"So, let's interrogate him now? I sure as hell want to know why he thought locking me up in a cage and making me rip people to shreds was a good idea..." Selina said angrily.

I moved the vine closer to the ground so we could strike fear into his eyes.

"Sounds like a plan ta me" Harley said, smirking and pounding her fist into her palm.

"Permission to hurt this poetry freak?" I asked.

"I'm staying out of this" Batman said.

"May I remind you, law enforcement is still here until he's stable. Which also means you need to watch what you're doing, Miss." the officer said.

"Well pardon me for wanting some revenge..." Selina moaned.

"There will be plenty of time for revenge, indeed." Max said.

"Listen you, you're gonna get what's comin' to ya" Harley said, pointing rudely at Max.

"Morning, noon and nightmares.

Death defying acts of courage,

Bravery, insignificance and sacrifice.

For the time we spend insane,

'Be truly the best of our lives.

'Less one of our souls corrupt our body,

Blackness,

Death.

Origins, legends and legacies,

Die with our travesties,

And create opportunity." Max said poetically.

"Be the very thing you sought to destroy" a voice said. "Manners, a pleasure in all formalities yet such a disappointing conversation briefing." the voice continued."Yes! Such extremities can be punished via relentlessness acquisition!" the voice shouted.

"What the...?" Batman said slowly.

"You didn't really think I was the famous poetry murderer did you? I said it was just a hobby of mine" Max said, laughing. "This guy, well...he's the real 'Poetry Murderer'"

The mysterious individual broadcast through the screen on stage, though we still couldn't see the person behind the voice.

"More so than not, the ones that delve deep into other people's sanity are the true villains of this world. Dark Knight, pleasure is often depicted by other people's suffering, Choices, I place in front of you. Would I use honourable actions or descend into madness? Choose carefully, Dark Knight" the voice said. The silhouetted figure on the screen disappeared.


	18. Descent Into Madness

_**Descent into madness**_

 _The Joker's Perspective:_

I knock on the door of the 'Smiles and Skies' nightclub, stupid and ironic name for a nightclub but my hired professional told me this is where I'd find her.

No reply. Rude, they didn't open the door for me, after all it was my party. Who doesn't invite someone to their own party?

I open the door.

There she is. Remind me to kill my hired professional later, they were way too accurate when they said that she'd be here.

"Mistah J?" Harley asked, squinting to see if her psycho boyfriend really did just walk into this building.

And yet, here I was.

"It's rude you didn't invite me, you know I love parties. Especially when the bat is invited. Come to think of it...why was the bat invited and not me?" I asked suspiciously.

Harley attempted to run at me at full force, but Batman held her back. I expected her to be angry, but yet I'm not the villain right now.

"I'm assuming you're the one who's been tormenting me and...Catwoman with your god awful poems?" I said, pulling my revolver from the holster and raising it towards Max's head. "I don't like being made a fool. Why tell a joke if everyone's in on the joke? And if you don't understand the joke then truly... _you_ are the fool and not me."

"Joker...why are you here?" Batman asked.

No surprise he'd want to interrogate me for turning up here unannounced, but I didn't have to explain myself to him.

And I wasn't going to.

"To bring some FUN to this party!" I shouted, pulling the trigger and shooting 'Maxwell Wright' straight in the head.

The bullet travelled through his skull and killed him instantly.

Batman looked at me, I wasn't sure if he wanted to kill me or thrash the living daylight out of me for what I just did.

His reasoning was beyond me, I saw an asshole and I killed him. Simple.

"He's...dead?...But that's...that's impossible. XOS made him invincible." Ivy said slowly, she was confused.

"The effect of the chemical wore off, it seems." Selina stated.

"That doesn't excuse what you just did..." Batman said angrily.

"Whatever, I came here for Harley. You know...I actually preferred it when you didn't bring hundreds of cops here, made my entrance more pleasurable maybe but someone has to clean the mess up outside now." I said, laughing.

The cops raised their guns at me. Unbelievable...

"You should've seen the mess at my place that this idiot made. That was way worse." I said, pointing at the dead body of Maxwell Wright.

"I gotta know...why did ya come and find me? You left me ta die you good fer nothin' pale-faced creep! I'm gonna hurt you so bad an' then you'll just lie there an' jus' die like you left me ta do!" Harley said angrily.

"Harley, one thing at a time..." Ivy said, placing her hand on Harley's shoulder.

"Remember what I said, J? Play nicely together." Selina added.

"Yeah yeah...but if I were you, I'd lower your weapons. Right about now."

The power blacked out.

My laughter echoed in the darkness.

Bullets were fired, many bullets. Not sure who or what they were trying to hit, but I knew they ended up killing each other. All of the police officers were now dead. How could I see? I stole some night-vision gadget from the bat.

Batman was disorientated without his night-vision gadgets, he let go of Harley and tried to manoeuvre through the pitch black auction room.

I sneaked up behind Harley and put my hand over her mouth and dragged her into the cell-block.

I removed my hand from her mouth and embraced her. She didn't know who was hugging her right now.

"Who...Who is it?" she asked nervously.

"It's me. You're safe now, Harley." I whispered.

She wanted to scream, so I put my hand back over her mouth to avoid her screaming the place down.

"Shhh, don't worry. It's OK. I'm not going to hurt you." I told her reassuringly.

She relaxed and put her arms around me. I removed my hand from her mouth.

She elbowed me in the chest and ran out through the door screaming.

Of course...

But this was what I wanted. It starts with her hating me, then she'll come to fall in love with me again. Just like every other time.

The lights turned back on. Hmmph...from pitch black to blinding light.

I walked back out to the auction room, no point being in the cell-block anymore. I was trying to be secret and careful but I see that approach isn't working. So, my good friend Jerome will help me out.

Jerome Wright, also known as Maxwell Wright's brother. He always hated his brother, he didn't actually want me to kill him, but he won't be morning his death.

It's complicated, his brother tried to copy him and blah blah blah he wasn't happy so wanted him dead, he was too much of a goody two-shoes to actually kill him though, he just resorted to leaving creepy messages on walls until I taught him everything he now knows.

Mentor? Nah, let's call it a temporary alliance.

"J, what are we doing with these pathetic low-lives?" Jerome asked, through his communications device. I also had one hidden under my collar.

Jerome heard the entire conversation from the moment I entered the room and we both heard enough to know that his brother had to die, I just did the honours!

I turned around and made sure I wasn't spotted talking to Jerome. "Don't kill them, not yet. Harley is mine anyway...touch her and you're dead." I said threateningly through the comms device.

I turned back around and walked towards the angry villains and the bat.

"Bats, I hope you've been keeping good care of my girl. The other girls know their place in this alliance of ours. Selina, for a start you managed to get yourself caught. Ivy...you were too busy to help me? Tsk tsk, not good enough I'm afraid." I said disappointingly.

Batman looked at me with his arms crossed. No surprise he wasn't happy with me...though I'm surprised he hasn't actually done anything.

"J, what are we waiting for?" Jerome asked.

"Well I would love to stay and chat but I know you girls are desperate to leave this place. You've been kept in here for hours! That's worse than listening to my jokes isn't it?" I looked at all of the girls. "Those things in your wrists, I can help with that. Though you won't like it"

"J...what are you doing?" Jerome asked.

"Trust me, it'll hurt but it'll at least make you able to leave this place without exploding yourself and the whole of Gotham." I looked at Batman's angry face. "Don't worry Bats, I'm not gonna kill them. But they have to get those little pieces of tech out soon or it'll be too late." "I believe I have a method in which will solve your problem...All I need is my switch-blade. Or alternatively, you could do it yourselves and make a mess or possibly cut off your arm!" I laughed.

"Joker, you will not go anywhere near these girls." Batman said angrily.

"Well, don't say I didn't warn you." I groaned.

"Now" I said, signalling to Jerome it was time.

"Now what...?" Ivy said.

"Oh sorry, I lost my track of thought. I was saying...-"

Jerome dropped down from the roof and landed like a professional free-runner.

"Now you better start screaming" Jerome said, smiling evilly.

His face was scarred like Max's but his eye wasn't missing. His face was more distinctly evil than Max's and his clothing was less professional and more...psychotic. He was wearing a black trench-coat which was unfastened and underneath was his black and white 'Arkham' prisoner clothing. He totally didn't copy my unique style...but that didn't matter to me.

"Harley, please step away from the bat or you will get hurt." I said. Harley didn't move, she just looked at me blankly. "Now..." I said in a more threatening voice. She walked over to me unwillingly. "The rest of you, well I hope you enjoy the little surprise Jerome has tucked up his sleeve. And no, it's not a playing card or some tissues."

"Choices, Dark Knight. I asked you earlier 'Would I use honourable actions or descend into madness?' Think carefully." Jerome said.

"Don't kill them, Mistah J! Please..." Harley said sadly.

"I won't, he might though." I smirked and nodded at Jerome. "We should probably get out of here though...Don't want you to get blood on your new outfit, would we?"

"But...But...Mistah J..." she muttered.

"Don't make me ask again, Harley." I said in a more serious tone.

"The device in Selina's arm...you're not saying that me and Ivy can escape and yet she can't...are you?" she asked sadly.

"You really care about the cat huh? Alright fine, I'll make sure he plays nicely with the kitty." I said, rolling my eyes.

"No! Mistah J, let her walk free. I don't care if ya kill B-MAN or these other girls but not my friends." she continued trying to sympathize with me.

"Fine...Cat, come here." I said. Selina edged towards me nervously.

"Arm" Jerome said.

Selina rolled up her sleeve and showed me the scarred and slightly bloodied area on her wrist. These integrated devices weren't too big or in too deep, I could get it out fairly easily without removing her arm completely. Harley can forgive anything I do normally, but this would be a step too far...even for me.

"Whoo, boy! Now that's a scar and a half. Alright...this might hurt a little" I got out my switch-blade from my pocket and flicked the blade out.

"Joker!" Batman shouted.

I groaned. "What? I'm actually trying to help her for once, bats. Leave me alone."

"Dark Knight...Would I use honourable actions or descend into madness?" Jerome asked for the third time, he was clearly getting impatient with the bat now.

"Wait! J...please..." Selina started.

"It's OK, for once...I'm not going to hurt you if I can help it. Harley cares about you and Ivy, she would never forgive me if I hurt you." I whispered to Selina.

"Uh..." Selina said, nervously.

"I promise, only the bat and the other girls will suffer." I whispered as I cut into her wrist and forced the device chip out of her arm.

"ARGHHHHHHHHHH! FUCK!" Selina yelled as the device fell on the floor.

"Selina! Are you alright?" Ivy asked, running over to her.

"That hurt...but at least that thing is out now. What was it...?" Selina asked, braving the pain.

Batman picked up the device and inspected it.

"Hmm. Tracking chip, Mr Wright was using these to track and monitor each of these girls. There's no link to a detonation sequence though."

"You want to take that chance, bats?" I asked.

"'Would I use honourable actions or descend into madness...?'" Jerome repeated again. This same line must've been grating on everyone by now.

"WE GET IT ALREADY! SHUT UP!" Harley screamed at Jerome.

Jerome grunted at her and crossed his arms.

"We going to just stand here, or can I rip this guy to pieces now?" Selina asked angrily.

Harley and Ivy looked at Selina with concern and walked over to her.

Harley and Ivy hugged Selina. Aw, such a cute little group of friends they are. Harley must really care about these two though...she just saved their lives. Or rather...she convinced me to save their lives...but anyway. Where was I?

"Bats, you're predictable. You haven't done anything because you're scared." I said. "You're not scared of me, not scared of him and not scared that you're surrounded by villains. You're scared that I just helped someone. Well believe you me, bats I didn't want to. But my dear Harley is very persuasive." I said, smiling at Harley.

Harley stopped hugging Selina, ran up to me and kissed me. I knew it, I knew I could win her back as easily as I expected. Selina and Ivy always were good girls, they had their admirable traits and different styles of villainy. For Harley's sake, I won't hurt them. Selina's arm though? Please...I saved her life, so we're even.

As far as I'm concerned, Jerome is too naïve still. He obeys too much and too easily, and yet when I wasn't there, he handled the situation incredibly well...I must say.

"Thank you" Harley whispered to me.

I must admit, she's adorable when she's happy.

"The Bat might not answer the question, what will you do then?" I asked Jerome.

"Nothing good, hahahaha" he said, laughing evilly.

Am I concerned with his plans? No. Am I concerned with his sudden insanity? OK...maybe a little.

"Free, we are until obstacles are placed before us,

Many challenges provide excitement. And logically, the idea of fun is insane." he said, seriously with a slightly threatening tone.


	19. The Real Definition Of Insanity

_**THE REAL DEFINITION OF INSANITY**_

 _Jerome's Perspective:_

I act like I don't have a mind of my own, that my opinions and thoughts don't matter...but that's strictly not true. I have many thoughts and I'm not willing to share them, it's complicated but it keeps my victims guessing.

The name Jerome Wright doesn't have a ring to it, I stick with just Jerome and sometimes even try thinking up my own villain alias. Sure, Joker taught me some tricks but he's shaping me into someone I don't like. Someone I hate.

Poetry? That was my brother's thing, not mine. And yet I act like I use it on a more serious level, which is true but I'm dropping the whole poetic approach and trying my own level of madness. Unpredictability...it's what makes us interesting for other people. I'm not angry at Joker for killing my brother, far from it...I'm glad that I don't have to deal with another eye-witness. But then...at the same time, he stole the poetry thing from me, and I don't even like it. I suppose it's more of a unique trait to have but personally, not a very enjoyable one.

I am not becoming another Joker, in fact...I might just try and kill him or threaten him with something...or someone he loves. Hmm...he's pretty fond of that girl, what's her name? Harley! That's right.

"When we rise above darkness and take the place of another unfortunate mind..." I said seriously. "The mind we take becomes owned by another." "And when the mind blanks...you move on..."I took out a revolver from my coat pocket and walked towards The Joker. I pointed the gun at one of the girls and shot her in the leg. "I am not your sidekick, don't make anyone else suffer for your mistake." I said, putting the gun near Joker's head.

Batman rushed over to the injured woman and comforted her. He looked at me with anger, he wanted to get up and punch me but felt more obliged to keep the dying woman company. Typical...predictable heroism. Boring.

The Joker just laughed at me. He wasn't afraid of dying or pain, I knew that. But I knew he was afraid of losing something, someone. I removed the gun from Joker's head and walked over to Harley.

"You got a good one here, J. She doesn't even flinch at your ugly-ass anymore." I said sarcastically walking around the room and moving the gun around in my hands.

Joker was clearly surprised that I didn't just talk in verses of poems. He was also surprised at my sudden disrespect, though he didn't exactly show it.

I wasn't scared of him or what he might do to me. I knew that the person he tried to make me isn't the person that I am. The person that I am is not an addition, not a replacement. But an actual person, someone with enough guts to kill anyone they want without hesitation. I'll show him, I'll show everyone. Soon enough...they will know the true consequences of their actions.

"Betrayal huh? Well I must admit I didn't think you had it in you! Here I thought I had a naïve little boy running around with guns without a care for revenge, and yet you've proved me wrong. So what are you going to do? Start a new life? Get a new look, new appearance...a new persona, perhaps? Or...will you settle things with yourself, with me and get some real revenge on the one who made you a criminal? Normally...I wouldn't care if you put a gun to my head and wanted to kill me. But involving my girl into this? Well...that's one mistake too many, Jerome." Joker said disappointingly.

"Why don't we ask 'The Dark Knight' what he thinks?" I asked, moving over to Batman. He was still with that woman. I shot the girl he was comforting in the head. Batman looked up at me, angrily. "I don't like waiting, Dark Knight"

The other girls screamed and moved away from the body.

"You...you killed her!" Batman said, slightly upset and angry at the same time.

"And you kept me waiting, I think you know how serious the situation is...so answer me this, Dark Knight. Why comfort a woman whose hours are numbered? She would've died within the day so why put yourself through the stress to stroke her hair and assure her that she will be fine? You and I both know she wouldn't be fine." I said "All of these girls, what value do they possess to you, to anyone? I could slowly kill each and every one of these girls and make you watch the entire process...how would you feel about that?" I asked seriously.

"You wouldn't..." Batman replied in disbelief.

"Oh, I would." I said, raising the gun and about to shoot another girl dead.

"Wait! What do you want from us?" Batman asked nervously, putting his hand in front of me.

"I'm glad you asked, Dark Knight." I started. "Joker knows what he did, he knows what he put me through. And no, I'm not talking about my brother's brutal murder at his hand. He thought he could push me around as an additional weapon in his arsenal, well... he was wrong." I addressed the girls cowering in the corner of the room, hoping that I would leave them alone. "Now, I know you don't want to get hurt, so please do yourselves a favour and be quiet." I said, threatening them.

Turning around, I pressed a button on my phone to signal for some assistance. Military assistance. Let's just say, I know some very good friends of mine who would love to help me teach a lesson or two to our guests.

I walked back to the centre of the auction room where my hostages were.

"Now...where was I?" I asked myself.

"Well... I was about to kill you." Joker said, looking down at the gun in his hand.

So that's how he wants to play it, hmm? Very well.

"Gunfighting? Please...that's so common." I said, unimpressed by his threat.

"Oh, you don't like guns?" Joker asked, putting the gun back in its holster and getting out the switch-blade knife from his pocket.

Catwoman used her whip to disarm the gun from my hands. Joker walked over to me, knife in hand.

He grabbed me in a choke-hold and put the knife near my mouth.

Harley decided to join in with our 'fun' and walked over to my position, preparing to hurt me.

"I'm gon' ask ya a few questions. If I don't like the answer. You get hurt! An' I can keep this going until you bleed ta death if I have to!" Harley explained, grabbing the knife from Joker's hands and pointing it at me. "Mind if I borrow this, Mistah J?" she asked.

"Be my guest..." Joker replied sinisterly, tightening his grip around my neck with his arm and smiling at her.

"Question one, why are you an asshole?" she asked, punching me in the stomach.

"No fair, I didn't get chance to-" I tried to say, but Joker tightened his grip to stop me from speaking.

"We didn't ask for your opinion on her rules...She can do whatever she wants to you, even kill you if she wants" Joker said, laughing at my struggle.

"Batman, I know this is difficult for you...but please let her have her fun, don't ruin her little smile." Catwoman said to Batman.

"I won't let her kill him" Batman said, watching the torture I was enduring.

"Question two...who are you?" Harley asked, whilst playing with the knife in her hand.

"As if I'm going to tell you, sick little girl" I said spitefully.

She didn't like that, she took the knife and put it to my throat. Joker moved his hands out of the way of the blade but still had me held firmly.

"You shouldnt've said that... naughty naughty. What am I gonna do with ya?" she said, punching me in the face. "Awwww, did that hurt? That's a shame" she taunted.

"What do you expect? Why should I answer your questions, you have no authority over me. I'm not your patient, I haven't gotta answer shit to you" I said, spitting blood out of my mouth onto the floor.

"Then we'll try another approach, Harley, May I?" Joker asked Harley.

Harley handed Joker the knife. He grabbed me by the collar with one hand and wielded the knife in the other hand.

Joker slit my forehead open slightly and let the blood run down my face.

"Ready to talk?" Joker asked.

"Hmmm...nope" I said, looking Joker in the eyes and smirking at him.

"You will...Oh...you will" Joker said, handing the knife back to Harley and getting me back in his grip. "Please, Harley. Give him hell" he said, smiling at her.

Looks like I'm in a bad situation, luckily I heard footsteps outside of the nightclub entrance.

Yep...that should be about time for their arrival.

My armed reinforcements burst through the door and pointed their assault rifles at everyone in the room. Everyone, except me of course.

"GCPD! ON THE GROUND, NOW!" the officer shouted.

No, they weren't actual GCPD officers, just an imitation of them. They took their roles seriously though.

"You, release him." the officer said, pointing the rifle at The Joker.

Joker released his grip but Harley refused to give up despite the police raid which was taking place. Harley took the knife and drove it deep into my chest.

She then removed the knife from my chest and threw it on the ground. Harley hugged The Joker, kissing him on the lips. She accepted her addiction, finally.

I clasped the bleeding area of my chest and fell to the ground.

'Blurred vision,

The only sign of failure that matters.

I knew my legacy would live on,

Through death,

My life doesn't end.

Let them feel gratitude if they must,

The truth is my reign of terror is far from over.

It's only just beginning.'

The final poem verse I care to utter in my thoughts before my body gives out at a rapid pace, blood pouring out of my open wound and coating my clothing in red. Eyes wide open, a smile on my face. And then...

Darkness.


	20. Blood On Your Hands

_**BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS**_

 _Harley Quinn's Perspective:_

I just killed that guy. I have my limits of crap I can stand which comes out of a man's mouth but after dealing with that Maxwell fella, well I can safely say I had reached that limit. B-man probably isn't happy with me... I'll end up back in prison, but I'll be back in prison with my puddin' so it's alright.

It's all worth it, just to see him smile.

"Go, I'll take care of them...they're not real cops" Batman said, looking at me and raising his fists.

"How do you know?" I asked

"The outfits they're wearing, it's obvious they're just thugs. Now go." Batman replied, disarming one of the thugs and throwing them on the floor.

Ouch, that looked like that hurt.

Did he seriously...just let me get away with that? I don't believe he would let me go, especially not after I just killed someone.

I ran to the door with Mistah J, Catwoman and Ivy. We all got permission to escape, somehow it didn't seem fair on him...but he's Batman. He'll keep an eye on us and arrest us again soon. I have no doubt I'll end up back behind bars, with Mistah J or not. I have shown enough strength that I can take on and kill a man threatening me, or an innocent man. I'll be fine.

Mistah J opened the door and got the gun out of his holster, he shot the bat symbol on Batman's suit. The strongest part of Batman's suit. "I'll see you soon, bats! Try not to have too much fun without me, will you?" he shouted out, slamming the door behind us.

"Well, now what?" I asked, kicking a stone with my foot.

"It's so nice to be out in the fresh air, that stuffy room was not a nice atmosphere for me" Ivy said, stretching out her arms to feel the breeze.

"It's a good day, a good day to be me" Joker said cheerily.

"I'm just glad I can go back to what I was doing, before I was kidnapped." Selina said, glaring at Joker.

"Who said anything about that?" Joker asked, smirking at Selina.

"Puddin...come on, we got stuff ta do. Banks ta rob or somethin' let the cat go, Harley wants some quality time with Mistah J" I said playfully, snuggling into his coat.

"I have a question though, why did Harley end up killing him and not you?" Selina asked Joker.

"I don't kill unless it's funny...Harley...well she kills because she wants to." Joker replied, looking at me with a glint in his eyes. He loved what I did.

"Right well, I'm off. Don't forget what I told you, J" Selina said, walking away with her whip in hand.

"Me too, I bet my babies missed me." Ivy stated, allowing her plants to freely carry her back to the Botanical Gardens.

So it was just me and Mistah J again. Hmm...I wonder what we're gonna do now

"So, puddin, what's the plan?" I asked mischievously.

"You remember you said you wanted to go shopping?" he asked, smiling at me.

My mouth made a large excited grin and I squealed.

"Yes! I never finished my shopping!" I looked at him, he was also looking at me.

"Want to finish shopping? I hear they hired a guy to replace the one you killed. Then we can kill him too and rob the store! They got new stock and everything, it'll be fun! If It's not fun, I can make it fun. You know I can" he smiled at me.

I didn't have to say words, I just threw myself at him and hugged him tightly.

It didn't matter that he abandoned me, tried to kill me or replace me so many times or that he might do it again another thousand times. What mattered was the fact that he loved me enough to rescue me, try and kill me and then offer to take me shopping! Mistah J is such a sweetheart. I love him so much.


	21. Playing The Game

_**PLAYING THE GAME**_

We arrived back at Joker's place. It was a small apartment building with blood and broken pieces of furniture and everything. Not the nicest building...but I was with my puddin, that's all that mattered.

"Harley, You're such a good girl, you make me so proud. Listen...I'm sorry about earlier. But I hope I can make it up to you." he directed me towards the living area of the apartment. There was a man tied up to a chair.

The man was in his 30's, brown eyes, ripped suit, black scruffy hair and unshaven face. Mistah J had kept him here a while...was this a 'I'm sorry' from Mistah J?

"Do you like your present? I know you love watching me work" he said, smiling at me and then looking at the man.

Oooooh! Maybe we were going to play the 'you smile, I smile' game.

What's 'you smile I smile'? It's where Mistah J asks the hostage a question and then hurts them, but if they don't smile at the pain then he hurts them again, and then he smiles!

"Who's this, puddin?" I asked inquisitively looking at the man tied on the chair begging for my mercy.

I ignored him, because I didn't give mercy.

Not anymore. I have the freedom to do anything.

Mistah J promised me this freedom, and now I see he's kept his promise.

"This, my dear is our welcomed house-guest! What's your name?" he asked our hostage.

"M...Mark...It's Mark!" he stuttered in fear.

"Stupid name for a stupid guy, hurt him real good puddin'" I said, slouching on the sofa and watching Mistah J do his thing.

"Right...Mark, we're gonna play a little game I like to call 'you smile, I smile' here's how it works. I'll ask you a question and then you'll answer. If you don't answer, I'll hurt you. When you finish answering, I'll hurt you. And the key is you have to smile after I hurt you or I hurt you again, and if you don't smile then I smile! Fun right?" he finished explaining, laughing out loud in front of the man. I fall in love with his laughter more and more each time.

Mistah J adjusted the camera on a tri-pod and pressed record.

"Oooooooh! I love this game!" I squealed.

"Where is your family?" Mistah J asked.

"Wh-what?...?"

Mistah J hit him.

"Smile! Remember to smile! And you gotta answer the question or it doesn't count." The man didn't smile. Mistah J hit him again. Mistah J let out a large grin. "I win! You're not very good at this, are you?" he asked, laughing. "I'll step up my game" he said, pulling out his switch-blade knife.

"You're...you're crazy" the man said, looking at Joker and trying to wriggle in the chair.

"We got a live one here tehehehe." I said, giggling as I got a bag of marshmallows from the cupboard and sat back on the sofa. Perfect snacks for perfect entertainment.

"Your family? You know, mum...dad, brother, sister? All that crap you know! Don't pretend you're not wanting to get hit, I know it feels great but at least humour my dear Harley with your screams of agony." Joker said, putting the blade near his mouth.

"I have a feeling he won't last very long, Mistah J" I said, putting a marshmallow in my mouth.

"My family...they...they're at home." Mark said.

"Are they really? Let's see what's on the TV...shall we?"

I pressed a button on the remote to turn on the TV. There was 'Mark's' family, with the Joker, it was a recording of him murdering them.

"You...you...no...you couldn't have been there!" Mark looked at the TV in disbelief.

"Oh, I was. Just like you're here now, and I'm here with you. See that camera up there?" Mistah J asked, pointing to the camera on the tri-pod which was recording the entire session. "This is a live recording, of you and me. Just like I did with your family. It's the most fun part of the entire experience! Me and Harley watch these back and sometimes just end up laughing at other people's stupidity, it's quality entertainment and it's your five or ten minutes of fame before your death. These video tapes should be sold at millions of dollars each, they're priceless works of art, capturing the 'real' person who's behind the camera. You see, the last minutes before impending death is when you show your real self. What's your real self, Mark...?" Mistah J asked, laughing at the man.

"I...I...this is impossible...there's no way you killed them" Mark said once again, trying to come to grips with the imagery on the television screen.

"I know it's hard. But trust me, scars fade." Mistah J said, showing Mark the scars around his mouth which had faded and were nearly unnoticeable now. "Next question, are you single?" Mistah J asked, running the blade along Mark's chin.

"No...no...I'm not single" Mark answered. He tried to smile but couldn't force his cheeks to make the motion.

Mistah J sliced Mark's chin.

"Oops, my fingers slipped" Mistah J laughed. "Harley, I'm thinking our guest wants some more wonderful entertainment!"

I turned the TV channel to another channel showing the recording of Mark's wife.

"No!" Mark cried out.

Mistah J hit him.

"I didn't say a question, that's cheating." Mistah J said, smiling.

I stuffed another marshmallow into my mouth and stretched my legs across the sofa. My red and blue short shorts were pressing against my stomach, I had to be comfortable after all.

We did do some shopping before we arrived at his apartment, I got these amazingly fun shorts which matched my baseball jacket, a pair of grey, red and blue fingerless gloves and a choker necklace with 'puddin' engraved onto the precious metal, it was custom made for me. Because I love my puddin.

I also got these tights to completely show my new persona.

The persona that shows maybe a bit too much body and ass to care about anyone else's opinions. I also treated myself to some new inks, by threatening the tattoo artist and lying there whilst he spent hours drawing diamonds, Joker related imagery and words such as 'puddin', 'Harley & Joker', 'Mistah J' randomly over my body, legs and arms. My personal favourite tattoo has to be the words 'Lucky you' written on my stomach in fancy writing and an adorable little jester head next to it. Yeah, our shopping spree was one hell of a shopping spree. So much fun... and so much blood.

"Well, how about that! Your wife was one lucky woman." Mistah J said, looking at the TV recording of him murdering his wife.

"Sh...she was?"

"She's lucky I killed her rather than spending another second with you! Hahahahahaha!" Mistah J hit him. "I told you not to cheat, don't make me ask you again." he said more seriously. "Next question, what do you think about Harley?" Mistah J asked, forcing Mark's head to look at my sexy body.

"She...she's very pretty..." he said. Mistah J moved the knife closer and cut his lip slightly. "You...you're a very...lucky guy!" he tried to smile and a little trembled smile forced his cheekbones to stretch.

"You're saying she's pretty? What do you think, Harley? Do you think he means it?" Mistah J asked me.

"I think he's makin' it up so ya don't kill him, puddin'" I replied, getting up and standing in front of Mark. I slipped off my baseball jacket and threw it on the sofa, showing off my cropped t-shirt. "You like what ya see huh? Perv!" I said, slapping Mark's face.

"She breaks the rules, she's allowed to. So am I. You're not allowed to break the rules, stop ruining the game! It's not fun if you ruin it." Joker looked at Mark's beaten up face. "I think that's an improvement, don't you, Harley?"

"Mhm" I said, with a gooey half chewed marshmallow in my mouth.

"If you understood the joke, you'd be laughing." Mistah J said, taking the knife and threatening Mark. "You're too serious. So serious. Why are you so serious, Mark?" Joker asked seriously.

"I...I'm not serious...I...I...I'm...I'm smiling...see...?" Mark muttered, nervously grinning but secretly wanting to scream for help.

Mistah J slapped Mark's cheeks with his hands repeatedly "I cannot wait to show this video recording to your friends. When they find themselves in the same position you're in right now. One by one they disappear from their houses and then each one of them dies, watching yours and all of the other deaths which were in this room. It's exciting, Mark...you're part of something beautiful." Mistah J said playfully.

"Wh...what do you want from me?" Mark asked.

"Breaking the rules again? Well, I tried with you Mark...I really did." Mistah J said threateningly, moving the knife blade towards his mouth and forcing the blade to cut a permanent smile line into his mouth and jawline.

"AHHHHHHH!" Mark screamed.

I just sat there watching with a smile on my face.

Mistah J finished improving Mark's emotional state and walked over to in front of the camera lens. He made sure his face was covering the entire frame of the camera.

"Oh...Mark, wow. That's quite a change, are you sure you're ready to live with that?" Mistah J asked. "A scar is a huge part of who you are, it shows your insanity." Mistah J got the gun out of his pocket and shot Mark in the head. "It's nothing personal, it's how the game always ends." Mistah J said, laughing.

Mistah J got a bucket of red paint and dipped two fingers in the paint. Fingers coated in paint, he drew over the scar with red paint which mixed with the blood coming from Mark's dead mouth. Mistah J then got a piece of paper, a black permanent marker and wrote 'victim 73' on the paper in thick black writing. He placed the piece of paper on Mark's dead body, some of the red paint smudged onto the paper. I think it was an added effect to make it look like blood.

"You just witnessed an amazing round of 'you smile I smile' and if you ever find yourself watching this or any of my other recordings, or if you find yourself in that chair like good ol' Mark...think of it as a blessing. The Clown Prince of Crime has chosen you as his latest work of art and it will be admired by all of Gotham...soon enough Hahahaha!" Mistah J laughed as he stopped the recording.


	22. Ruined Moment

_**RUINED MOMENT**_

I clapped my hands frantically at his show of entertainment. Whether or not he was trying to apologize or just give us both some fun after the shitty day we had, it didn't matter. What mattered was that he was trying to make me happy.

I grabbed my black and gold studded belt with a diamond buckle which was dangling on the sofa and fastened it around my waist. I got up from the sofa and put the empty marshmallow packet in the bin.

"Oh Mistah J?" I asked flirtatiously.

He looked over at me. "What do you want Harley...I'm busy..." he groaned, ignoring my flirting.

Wait...why was he pissed off? Several minutes ago he was just torturing that guy...Mark...yeah that guy Mark and he was happy and smiling so what would cause him to change his attitude so suddenly?

"Busy doing what?" I asked inquisitively.

"Busy thinking of a plan" Mistah J replied, looking out of the window.

I walked up to the window and saw...oh...a whole strike-force out to kill us. Well, there goes my attempt at having a nice relaxing afternoon.

"Who tha hell do they think they are? I haven't even done anythin' and neither have you! Well ok...the guy you just killed but there would be no way they would've found out...unless...oh shit..." I realized the camera he was recording with actually was being viewed as a livestream to the GCPD...someone must've altered it so it directed the footage to the police.

Which also means we're now surrounded, outnumbered and unprepared.

"What...? Harley, what have you done now!" he asked furiously, hitting me with the back of his hand.

"No-nuthin Mistah J! It was probably B-MAN! The camera footage must've been live or somethin'...somehow, I dont really understand tha technical stuff y'know" I responded nervously, stuttering my words.

"Well great, now they know where I live and will no doubt now know most of my tricks! How can I kill that stupid annoying bat if he keeps messing with everything before I get the chance!" he said angrily, throwing the television out of the window. It missed all of the cops, they just stood there and looked at it, and then directed their attention up to the window on the seventh floor where it was thrown from. "Grab a gun, looks like we've got some unwanted company" well, at least he directed a small smile towards me.

I pulled out the custom revolver from the holster which was secured around my chest. It's beautifully crafted, white handle, the rest coloured black with gold decorations. I loaded the weapon and held it firmly in my hands, putting my back towards the wall near the door. When our visitors entered, they were in for a surprise hehehe.

"Alright, the moment that door opens it's bang bang they're dead, understand? I don't care how many of them there are." Mistah J directed the order seriously.

Mistah J stood next to me, gun firmly in his hands. We would give anyone who entered a shock and a bullet to the head, that was the plan.

"I can hear footsteps" I whispered.

Footsteps, rustling, white noise. Yep, they were coming. I braced myself for the moment.

The door opened inwards, both me and Mistah J were hidden behind it. I peaked to see who it was and how many of them there were.

One looked to be a prisoner, the others seemed like GCPD officers, though I couldn't see much from such a small glimpse.

Mistah J and I emerged from behind the door and pointed our guns at them. "Ah, such a wonderful afternoon, isn't it? Great time for some unwanted company, hey...how about I put the kettle on and make you a cup of coffee?" Mistah J adjusted his grip over the trigger. "Yeah, I'm sure you'd love that, but it isn't going to happen. You've got five seconds to tell me who you are and what you're doing here before I give you all a permanent headache."

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, waiting outside are about one hundred more armed military reserves. All formalities aside, I need to speak with Miss Quinn..." The military officer said, forcing us to lower our weapons.

"The deal is, you can talk to her but I will keep this gun held against your head whilst you do." Mistah J explained.

"Fine with me" the officer responded, strolling towards me with an assault rifle firmly in his hands. "Miss Quinn, you've met Selina Kyle before?" the officer asked, instructing two more officers to come in. They were holding Selina by the arms.

"Believe me, this is the first time I've been caught, quite impressive really" Selina said sarcastically, trying to free herself...but ultimately failing to do so.

"Yeah, so what?" I asked, uninterested in the lecture I was about to receive.

I crossed my arms and gave the officer a disapproving look.

"She regrets to inform you that she's been arrested for theft and presumed mutilation of several people, and I'm afraid...Miss Quinn, you and your partner here are accomplices to the crime and stand accused of murdering Maxwell and Jerome Wright." he came towards me with handcuffs and several other officers barged in to assist in arresting both me and Mistah J.

Mistah J shot a bullet out of the gun but missed and hit the wall instead, the other officers restrained both of us so we couldn't fight against them. They were actually really strong, not just normal police officers...more like tactical or military grade officers.

"You got some nerve to come up here and try and arrest or kidnap us, I applaud your commitment to your job...though unfortunately for you, it means I have to put your name on the naughty list now. And Harley doesn't give presents to naughty people on the naughty list" I said rudely.

"So what, back to prison, an asylum perhaps?" Mistah J asked, rolling his eyes with sarcasm.

"Ordinarily, I wouldn't care about criminals, we're not GCPD. We're a government based organization dedicated to detaining the criminally insane. Arkham Asylum was recently destroyed...I know you are responsible for destroying it, so for such a reason we now have to transfer you to Blackgate Penitentiary. You'll be glad to know that Blackgate has a new psychiatric facility, you'll feel right at home." "And please, don't make any sudden movements, or we'll be forced to use more advanced methods to make you comply.

"There is no way I'm goin' back to an asylum! I would rather die!" I yelled.

"Don't fight them, unlike Arkham Asylum's staff...these guards actually have methods of making us do whatever they say..." Selina looked down at her hands, they were just gloves. No sharp claws, not anymore.

Mistah J must have a plan. He always has a plan.

"Good one! In terms of joke's I must say that was a rather good one, but come on seriously you're going to regret this." Mistah J said humorously, elbowing the two guards restraining him and picking up the gun from the floor. He pointed it at the two guards and shot them. The bullets bounced off the visors on their helmets and fell onto the floor.

Shit, bulletproof armour...Mistah J was going to regret that. The two officers punched Mistah J in the stomach and got a tight grip on his arms. Neither of us were going to escape, and they were too prepared and well-armed for us to do anything.

"Take them out of here and put them in the truck, if they try anything...kill them" the officer ordered.

We were being forcibly dragged down the stairs, through the corridors and finally thrown into the back of an armoured truck. Two of the armoured guards accompanied us in back of the truck, pointing a gun at us just to make sure we didn't try anything stupid. They chained our legs together to really strengthen the feeling of being trapped.

The doors were slammed shut.

The engine kicked in and the truck began vibrating. The truck shook and shuddered when it drove over rough terrain, nearly causing me to fall off the bench I was sitting on. The transfer to Blackgate was going to be a long and boring journey.

"The boss was very specific about you not trying to run or escape." one of the guards in the back explained, whacking me with his assault rifle. I saw Mistah J and Selina face the same punishment.

My body hunched over the bench I was sitting on until I collapsed from the concussion of the hit.


	23. Blackgate

_**Blackgate**_

"Wake up" a voice instructed.

I've been in this position way too often...it was getting ridiculous, being locked up, tortured, locked up, knocked out, tortured, locked up, knocked out, arrested, locked up, tortured again and again and again.

My body brought itself to move and then my eyes opened, I could see a blurry figure of a person outside of the cell. I sat up on the uncomfortable prison bed.

I got up from the bed and stretched then walked up and looked at the guard through the small open hatch.

"Morning, Miss Quinn." the guard said softly.

"What do you want? Are ya here ta take me somewhere, do somethin' to me? Look, I'm an emotional wreck and I look a state, what more do you want?" I moaned pathetically.

"I just brought you some breakfast" the guard smiled, offering me a small metal container of cereal through the hatch.

"Thanks? Why you bein' so kind ta me? What's the catch?"

"You have to eat, Miss Quinn. In prison or not."

I took the container from the guard. I put it on my bed and returned to the small opening in the door, smiling at the guard in a friendly way.

"Although you will have to excuse our methods of bringing you here, I hope you will find your time here beneficial. We have several experts who will be willing to help you overcome your physical or mental constraints." the guard explained, seemingly empathizing towards me.

"Yeah yeah, I've heard that before" I responded sarcastically.

"Please don't think of this as an asylum, or a prison. We care about your physical and mental well-being, Miss Quinn. We want you to feel comfortable, so please let us know if there's anything we can do to help you."

"Let me go?" I asked jokingly.

"Haha, nice try. You have a meeting with the head of the facility this morning at 10 o clock, you will be escorted there by our trained guards, I might possibly be one of those escorting you, but it's for your own safety."

"A meeting...? Meetings are so boring!" I groaned.

"An introductory meeting, all of our inmates have one. It gives you a chance to understand what to expect from your time here in the Blackgate Psychiatric Facility. It's a separate building from Blackgate Penitentiary, so don't expect to be treated like other common criminals."

"Sure, whatever." I said, sitting on my bed and sighing quietly to myself.

I wonder where Mistah J was...I wonder if he's even in the same cell-block as me, maybe he's already been for his introductory meeting or maybe he's just sitting, bored out of his mind on the bed like me.

"One more thing, your partner has been transferred to death row." he said, showing me sympathy. The guard closed the door hatch and walked away from my cell.

No...no! Not my puddin, no he won't die! He won't! Shit...I have to get out of here to save him, but how! No, he's smart, he's crafty...he'll save himself or figure out something...he has to! I won't live with myself knowing I left him to die!

I sat on my bed, crying. It might attract a guard to open the cell and let me out, probably not... but worth a try. I was genuinely upset, all joke's aside, he is my puddin. I love him. He won't die, I won't let him die.

I reached into my bra where I keep my knife...oh my god...are you kidding me? They actually did a strip search of me and took my hidden weapons too! Now that's just unfair. I'm stuck in this horrible but unusually coloured prisoner clothing, it was actually beige instead of orange. And I haven't got any tricks or weapons hidden anywhere, the only weapon I can use is my devilish charm. Hehehe. I bet I can find at least one way to get out of this situation with just flirting and sweet nothings.

But first, I must show that I'm willing to comply to their programme. I can't give away too much, I have to be careful, these guards aren't like normal guards...they deal with people like me on a professional level.

My cell was fairly small, it had a bed which shouldn't even be classed as a bed because it's so uncomfortable. It also had a functional toilet and sink, and a small steel bucket beside the bed. I wouldn't call it home, but at least it's cleaner than most cells I've set foot in.

"On your feet, Quinn" a guard approached my cell and opened the small hatch, looking at me through the small opening. I ignored him. "I said on your feet!" he said, raising his voice slightly and banging on the door.

"Leave me alone!" I said sadly, turning my back towards the guard.

The guard pressed the radio on his shoulder. "Quinn is refusing to comply, additional guards required. Over" the guard announced.

"Received, on my way. Over" one of the other guards responded through the radio.

Several minutes later, a total of four guards arrived in front of my cell in hope to drag me against my will to this 'introductory meeting'. Pfft, I know I said I was going to comply, but this is ridiculous.

Two of the guards entered my cell, they had riot shields and nightsticks equipped in their hands, ready to strike me. I aggressively climbed onto one of the guard's shoulders and made him collapse to the floor, the other guards entered the cell and forcibly grabbed my arms and dragged me out of the cell. The guard I knocked down got straight back up and joined the other guards, shutting the cell door behind him.

"You're a feisty one, why bother fighting us though? It'll only get you in more trouble." the guard addressed me angrily. "Prepare yourselves, boys. I have a feeling you'll be needing a break after this."

Two guards restraining me, the other two behind me holding rifles in their hands, actively able to shoot me at any point. And the final guard was in front of me, more professionally dressed than the other guards. Probably a higher ranked guard.

We passed several cell-blocks full of criminals who were shouting out at me, it made me feel uneasy. Down the corridor, there were guards patrolling the entire facility...all armed and ready for a break out or the slightest disturbance. Around the corner was a short corridor leading to a metal door.

The guard in front unbolted the metal door. I was pushed inside, all of the guards stepped inside and the final guard at the back shut the door.

"What is this place? This don't look like no office" I observed.

It seemed like a medical room, probably had to undergo a medical examination before I was allowed to go to this meeting. I love medical procedures... Not.

"Pre-treatment examination. Just a procedure we have to follow for every inmate." the guard explained.

"Yeah, seems like you got a lotta that sorta stuff. What's gonna happen to me in here then, huh? You gonna drug me? Hurt me? Examine me? Or maybe you'll just kill me!" I laughed.

"Quiet, Quinn."

"You gonna make me?" I asked.

"I have authority to do so." he responded professionally. "Doctor? Your next patient is here."

"Great, won't be but a minute." the doctor responded, putting on a pair of surgical gloves and then turning to face me. He walked up to me. "Ah, Miss Quinn. Inmate #72. Please, take a seat."

The doctor was wearing a medical white coat, like I wore when I worked at Arkham. The coat was fastened and stretched down to the ankles, my old work coat used to stretch down to my knees, not the ankles.

The guards forced me on the slightly more comfortable bed in the middle of the room. They held me down until they were sure I wouldn't try to fight their methods. They knew deep down I would keep fighting them, so they kept me pinned on that bed, despite my struggling they still managed to stop me from escaping from the room.

"What is tha purpose of this? I can assure ya I'm perfectly healthy." I groaned.

"It's always nice to see some fight in the females, though you're displaying some really large quantities of anger. Is something troubling you?" the doctor asked, looking at me.

"I'm fine" I said grating my teeth angrily.

"Leave her, she won't try anything." the doctor ordered for the guards to release me.

The guards released me and I sat up on the bed, I wasn't up for lying on a bed against my will...not again.

"Take it from my perspective, all you keep doing is throwing me in a cell, a room full of sharp objects, an office or a truck. It's almost like you don't trust me" I stated sarcastically, smirking at the doctor.

"Anyway, I have work to do, you have a meeting with the facility overseer and I don't intend to make you late. I'm sure my boss will be very understanding if I explained I had to keep you here a little longer than intended." the doctor threatened.

"Point proven, ugh...can you just get on with it already?" I whined, slouching further on the bed.

"Why of course." the doctor said, adjusting the gloves to fit perfectly onto his hands and fingers. "I'm just going to ask you a few questions. Ordinarily, I would take blood samples and do a full medical examination but I can see you're not going to let me do that, and it'd be cruel to force you to allow me to do so." he said understandingly.

Odd, someone actually saw the situation from my perspective...yeah I'm not a huge fan of needles or medical stuff.

"Makes a change, I'd normally be drugged by now" I said, giggling.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine."

"Would you consider your violent nature to impact your daily life?"

"No."

"Have you sustained any injuries recently?"

"No."

"Do you feel calm enough to meet with the facility director?"

"I suppose."

"Are you going to cause any trouble?"

"No."

"How can I be sure you're telling the truth?"

"See how you're still alive? I think that's a pretty good reason to trust me." I pointed out. "What are these questions anyway? Hardly medical related..." I asked suspiciously.

"Forgive me, I hope I wasn't prying into your personal life." the doctor apologized.

"You weren't. I'll expect ta be interrogated for the entire duration of the meeting upstairs too I'm guessing?"

"I cannot state an answer, it's confidential what happens in those meetings."

"Hmph" I groaned.

"From what I can tell anyway, you're good to go. And please, reconsider any actions you're planning and don't hurt yourself." the doctor said, gesturing the guards to once again restrain me.

"Enough with the restraining, I can walk myself." I insisted.

"Got my eye on you, Quinn. Don't try anything" the guard said seriously.

I made small footsteps towards the staircase, my ankles were chained together which made it difficult to walk properly.

"Stop." the guard insisted and turned to face me.

"What? I can only walk as fast as these damn chains will carry me" I moaned.

"That's not the reason we're stopping." the guard replied.

"Then why are we stopping?"

"Your meeting has been cancelled..." the guard said, looking down at the body of the facility overseer. The guards raised their firearms and looked around the area.

"Oh, how did that happen?" I asked humorously.


	24. Time To Reschedule

_**TIME TO RESCHEDULE**_

"This is an important announcement, would inmate 72 please come to my office immediately." the announcer's voice...it sounded like Mistah J.

Could it have been?

I managed to walk away from the guards without them noticing I was gone, I trudged up the stairs until I finally reached the office door.

I opened the door.

"Hello, my dear. Please, do come in." the voice said.

It was Mistah J!

"Puddin?" I asked nervously.

"It wasn't easy, but I managed to make it out of death row and kill all of the guards and the head of this facility! Are you impressed? You should be" he explained. "I think we could exact some revenge on those responsible for locking us up, don't you?" he asked angrily.

"Why bother? We could just escape and be together"

"You don't think they wouldn't try and arrest us again? So long as they're breathing, they can and will find us. They always do." he said seriously. "The only way we can assume we're safe is to kill everyone in this place."

"They have guns" I commented.

"So do we" he said, throwing a large duffle bag onto the desk full of weapons and ammunition. "If you're wondering how I got it all, ask Selina. She's good with that sort of stuff." he said, looking to his left. Selina was leaning against the wall, looking at her fingers.

"Harley, about time you showed up, J and I were just talking about you." Selina said. "No cell can keep a cat locked up for long, I soon found a way out."

"Now, Harley...you haven't exactly been honest with me...have you?" he asked suspiciously, looking at me with piercing anger.

"Wh...what are you talking about, puddin? I'm always honest with you!" I explained nervously.

"I'd love to trust you, but unfortunately I don't have much trust for liars."

"What are ya talking about?"

"You brought these guards to my place. Your involvement with them is obvious, they wanted to speak with you, they gave you a nice cell, treated you with respect and didn't even force you into a medical examination." he lifted up his shirt and showed the scar on his chest. "They hurt me, Harley. They were certain I had traces of XOS inside of me so they tried to find it. I assured them the XOS was destroyed during the explosion at Arkham, yet they insisted in checking anyway. I don't like doctors, I've told you this enough times now, and yet I feel you're hiding something from me. You have said something? Done something?"

"No, I have no idea why they would do that to you! I don't know why you wouldn't trust me, I'm telling you the truth, puddin." I said nervously.

"You weren't sentenced to death row, were you going to rescue me...or did you assume I was going to rescue myself? Or did you do nothing because you wanted me dead?"

"I was trying to break out and rescue you, Mistah J. It didn't exactly go to plan though."

"Was it all part of your master plan for revenge against me?" he asked, opening a draw in the desk and getting out my file. "Harleen Quinzel, doctor at Arkham Asylum until official transfer to Blackgate Psychiatric Facility five years ago. On your criminal record, you have been registered and associated with a 'Task Force X' several months ago where you joined forces with other inmates and armed guards similar to those patrolling this facility." he read out the details, got up from the office chair and threw the file angrily towards me. "So explain to me how you aren't lying? Even the cat wants to scratch you!"

"Puddin...I...I can explain, I...I was put on death row too." I started explaining, sighing. "I was sentenced to death and the only way out of it was to volunteer myself to risk my life in dangerous operations to infiltrate, kill, steal, rescue or go undercover in missions destined to kill any ordinary person. We were assembled as a type of 'Suicide Squad' because...well, we were effectively committing suicide by going on these missions to save our own skins." I swallowed nervously at his impending reaction. "I haven't heard from any of the members of the squad for months...but yes...this transfer to Blackgate probably has something to do with me. I'm sorry." I said sadly, looking down at the floor.

"And why am I involved in this?" Joker asked angrily.

"You were recruited too, but you weren't there when we were on our first mission."

"Because I was busy saving your ass! Remember, at that auction? You couldn't have seriously gotten out of that without me. And you know it" he perched on the desk and just looked at me.

"I...I know you must be angry, but we were told that if we ever spoke about it then...well, the squad would have one less member. Betraying Rick Flag... it's a death sentence in itself." I finished explaining.

"And so is betraying me." Mistah J wasn't happy with me, his facial expression made that explicitly clear. He picked up an assault rifle from the bag and used it to smash the large window in the office. "You lied to me, do you know how that makes me feel?" he had his back to me and clearly didn't want to look me in the eyes.

"What was I meant ta do? I couldn't say anything. I couldn't do anything to prevent myself from dying other than joining those other criminals. It would've been better if you were there too though. I missed you" I tried to apologize but his silent treatment was so powerful it felt like he was physically throwing me out of that window.

"Hmph" he groaned. "What am I going to do with you?" he asked, turning around. "I feel I've been far too nice and forgiving, maybe I should remind you of your time in Arkham? That was so much fun wasn't it? Maybe I'll make you relive those memories every single living moment you have, then you'll know how I feel about you lying to me." He reminded me of my past and threatened to make me relive it...what a horrible threat, that wasn't even a threat...that was worse than a threat.

I stood there, watching his mind think of a punishment which was suitable for me.

"Puddin...I-" I started

Mistah J interrupted me "I won't be responsible for my actions, just go. Get out of my sight." he turned his back to me angrily. Selina also gave me a disapproving look.

Did I...did I just lose Mistah J? My devastated face said it all, as I went to open the door I felt a large urge to clear things up with him. I couldn't leave it like this, it wasn't right.

"I'm sorry, please...don't do this" I said sadly.

"Don't make me tell you again, just go." he said, half angrily and half sadly.

I think he was more surprised at my forced heroism rather than me lying to him, if he was angry enough to do something drastic...he would've killed me. This... was effectively worse because he has now given me guilt and the cold shoulder. I have a feeling I wouldn't be able to love my puddin anymore. He wouldn't love me anymore, he wouldn't even want to waste his time trying to kill me anymore. He wants to be left alone...maybe he'll reconsider what he's done to me and then compare it to what I've said. It wasn't my fault, I didn't ask to become part of this strike-force, I didn't have a choice. Though, back at Arkham when he left me there to die...Mistah J had the choice...and he left me there. He left me there to die.

If anything, I should be the one angry at him...not the other way round.

I walked out of the door and closed it behind me, slowly and quietly. His silence, his look, his words. They will play on my mind forever.


	25. Too Late For Sorry

_**TOO LATE FOR SORRY**_

 _The Joker's Perspective:_

"You know, I wonder why I keep that girl alive." I exclaimed.

"J, you left her to die after the explosion at Arkham. I think the least you can do is forgive her." Selina replied, clearly disgusted at my attitude and way of thinking.

"That's not the point, she lied to me...do you know what that means? For all I know she's plotting with the bat, hell maybe she's even having sex with someone else, perhaps even Batman. I don't know, Selina...what should I do?"

"You're asking me for relationship advice now? Just...I don't know, just make it up to her somehow...you can start by apologizing to her. You weren't fair on her J and you know it." Selina argued back to me, she made a valid point though. "You've hurt her so many times that I'm amazed she keeps running back to you. If that was me, I would never forgive you."

"You're not helping." I groaned.

"I'm not trying to."

"How long before the guards figure out both me and Harley are free and that I just killed the facility boss?"

"About five minutes."

"You handled a gun before?" I asked, picking up a gun and looking through the sights.

"Please, this will be easy." Selina proclaimed, picking up a rifle and checking the magazine for bullets.

"Alright, let's go and get my girlfriend back." I said, kicking open the office door. "And remember, aim for the part of the body without armour. Every suit of armour has at least one vulnerable spot." I described to Selina, winking at her as we walked down the stairs.

"You're crazy"

"I know. It's great, isn't it?"

"You think Harley will forgive you?"

"Hmph. One thing at a time, cat"

We reached the bottom of the staircase, directly leading through to a corridor with cells on either side of us. Cells that contained inmates that are hungry, ravenous even.

"Hold up, guard." Selina whispered. She gradually sneaked up behind the guard and knocked him to the ground...he was stunned for a few hours after that silent takedown. Selina wasn't much of a fan of killing people either.

Selina and I dragged the body and shoved it in a cell. I took the uniform off the guard and used it to disguise myself. The uniform was a little tight fitting, not really my style and definitely not my colour...but it'd no doubt be useful. I could use Selina as my prisoner escort to be able to move around the facility without hassle from the other guards.

"Surprisingly, you look pretty good in a uniform" Selina commented flirtatiously.

"Don't flirt with me, cat...let's just find Harley so I can get out of this chafing outfit" I replied bitterly.

"Is that her?" Selina asked, pointing to the prisoner leaning against the wall, crying softly into their hands.

I walked towards the prisoner and they moved their hands from their face and looked at me. Her makeup was smudged all over her face and the bright blue eyes were scanning my uniform. It was her...I didn't realize I was so harsh...and now seeing her sobbing, it makes me want to reconsider my words.

"Selina, I'd like to be alone with her...please." I requested to be alone, for no reason but to seek forgiveness from the girl I've hurt.

Selina nodded and left the two of us alone, I was assuming she was going to clear out the rest of the guards.

"Look at you, such a beautiful girl broken down into tears. I'm sorry, Harley"

I stroked my gloved hand across her cheek softly and then lifted up the helmet from my face. She immediately fixed herself onto my eyes. It was a strange mixture of wanting to shove me in a cell and throw away the key or her wanting to hug me until I couldn't breathe.

She looked at me. I've seen her cry before, but for the first time... For the first time, she saw me cry.

A stray tear rolled down from my eye and she gave me her reassuring silence. The silence that tells me she still cares. Deep down in her heart she wants to kiss me but her brain is screaming for her to torture me with her glare. Both sides are winning at the moment, she's looking deeply into my eyes with affection and yet forcing herself to not give into her feelings.

"I've never seen you cry, puddin" she wiped away the tears from her eyes and then put her hand on my cheek, wiping away my tears too.

"You're the only one who will ever see me cry, Harley. That's how much you mean to me. As my therapist you didn't see me cry, as Harley...you see my softer side. I was thinking about what I said...what I've done to you, I cannot explain how you must be feeling. I know sorry isn't enough...but I'll find a way to make it up to you. I promise." I spoke to her softly, truthfully letting Harley know how I felt about her.

She embraced me forgivingly. "Apology accepted" she whispered softly. "I knew you cared, puddin. I always knew you cared about me the way I care about you." she snuggled into my uniform.

I smiled down at her, gradually moving away from the hug. I couldn't hug her in uniform, that wasn't the part of me she fell in love with. I took off the elements of the uniform until only my prisoner clothing remained.

"I was never into uniforms much, how about you?" I asked, kicking the uniform to one side.

"Prisoner uniforms are fine with me, Mistah J" she said, unbuttoning my shirt and removing it from my chest. She threw the shirt on the floor. "But I always loved seeing your body."

"Harley...please, we're in public" I stated playfully.

"That never stopped you before" she winked at me. And then she paused. "I just need to know something, Mistah J" she started.

"And what is that, sugar plum?" I responded.

"WHY WOULD YA BE ANGRY AT ME FOR SAVING MY LIFE WHEN YA LEFT ME TA DIE AN' NEARLY KILLED ME MULTIPLE TIMES? YOU TORTURED ME, ABANDONED ME AND LIED TO ME SO MANY TIMES AND YET YOU FEEL IT'S NECESSARY TO GET PISSY WITH ME BECAUSE I JOINED A SUICIDE SQUAD?" She yelled at me angrily, pinning me up against the wall. "HUH? SPEAK TO ME DAMNIT" she hit me. "WHAT'S THE MATTER? GOT NOTHIN' TA SAY?" she hit me again. "HOW ABOUT YOU JUST DONT SAY ANYTHING FOR ONCE...FOR ONCE IN YOUR MISERABLE LIFE JUST SHUT UP" she screamed at me hitting me again and once more with feeling.

"Harley...I...I...I'm sorry! I'm sorry ok!" I said nervously. For once, she was actually intimidating.

"No. Not this time, sorry isn't enough. I can't believe you think I'd forgive you for all the shit you've put me through. You think it'll be all 'oh I love you Harley, I'm sorry, please forgive me...I promise it won't happen again' bullshit? Well you won't be getting me back that easily!" she punched me in the face several more times until there was visible blood pouring out of my mouth.

She threw me on the floor and kicked me in the chest. Well...so much for thinking she still loved me.

I coughed, spitting blood on the floor. "Harley, whatever you want...it's yours. What can I do to make it up to you"

"Just lie there and feel pain, feel the pain YOU PUT ME THROUGH." she shouted, kicking me several more times. "Oh I have a better idea." she smirked at me, skipping away from my body.

Oh irony...you're an unwelcome dish which is best served cold. She clearly has a whole side of her which I didn't even know about...and that's slightly worrying. She's good at pretending, but at the same time she's dangerous and actually unpredictable. I didn't expect it to be so easy though, that would be boring.

I slowly laughed to myself whilst lying on the floor. Every time I uttered a small chuckle it hurt my throat, but I couldn't see any point in not laughing at what just happened.

Two guards approached me...they must've heard my laughing or were just patrolling this area and saw me. They wandered over here and looked down at my mental breakdown.

"The Joker, inmate #97. What happened to you?" the guards got me to stand on my feet.

Struggling, I managed to find my footing but not enough strength to fight against them. I just continued laughing painfully, with a large awkward smile on my face.

"Death row...poor guy, I don't think we should send him back there. You know that girl...Harley Quinn, inmate #72? I think he should be in the same cell-block as her. She's harmless enough, she seems kinda calm and placid to be honest. Joker though...I know he's bad but hell...nobody deserves death row...everyone deserves a chance." the guard actually felt sorry for me.

Maybe this place actually was different, at least one or two guards cared enough to pick me up and dust me down after being beaten to a bloody pulp by his...ex girlfriend.

But sharing a cell-block with Harley? Yeah that wasn't a recipe for total disaster...but I couldn't find words in my mental state at this point. I think I was just in so much shock of what just happened to be able to think straight.

Did Harley try and find these guards and direct them to my injured body? Just to really get back at me for doing the same to her? Did she just run away and leave me? She was definitely wanting to hurt me, she never usually does...her silence is normally enough to torment me but this...this was one step further to insanity that I honestly didn't think she'd make.

The guards assisted me back to cell-block B, offering me support by giving me their shoulders to lean on. The most interesting part of this was that they didn't know I just murdered about twenty guards in death row and brutally mauled the head of the facility. Oh well, that'll give them a little _easter egg_ to find later.

Cell-block B, rows of cells with strong metal doors and small hatches separating the outsiders from the inmates being detained inside.

There was Harley's cell, and I was being placed in the cell next to her. That wouldn't end well, for either of us. The guards opened the cell door and allowed me to rest on the bed. I collapsed on the bed and the guards left my cell, closing the door behind them and shutting the small hatch. Luckily...despite being right next to Harley, we couldn't see each other as we were separated by concrete walls.

I lay there, just rethinking life. My head was spinning, she hits harder than you'd expect. Her personality, it can change with a snap of her fingers...that's a dangerous weapon, one I suspect she'll use to her advantage.

I don't often have time to myself, to reflect on the day and really open my mind. 'Let your mind run wild... until it hurts someone' my therapist used to say. I guess she was right, and although Harleen and Harley are the same person... they both torture me very differently.

I sat up on the bed and let out a large sigh, gripping my head with my hands indignantly.

God...what have I done?


	26. Never Forget You

_**NEVER FORGET YOU**_

 _Harley Quinn's Perspective:_

 _Can't you understand? He means nothing to you anymore. Let him get into your head, he'll mess you up...you know that._

But I love him!

 _Do you? Do you really love him...?_

My head is asking more questions than I care to answer for myself, I need to think in peace and quiet. I decide to wander voluntarily back to my cell. If I passed a guard on the way, I'd get thrown back in there anyway.

Do I like prison? No. But this place isn't exactly easy to break out of. Did I send some guards to kill my puddin? Maybe. Maybe I did say he assaulted me...or maybe I didn't. That's my secret to keep.

I found a guard and put my wrists out towards him, I was asking to be put back in my cell.

"Quinn, what are you doing out of your cell?" the guard asked, handcuffing me.

"A girl finds a way" I told the guard, winking at him.

"Right..." the guard said, standing next to me and gesturing for me to walk.

The guard pushed me and I walked back with the guard back to my cell. Once I arrived back at my cell I walked in and the guard slammed the door shut and closed the peeky hole so I couldn't make funny faces at him. Hey...if he wants to be a spoil-sport then that's his problem isn't it?

I leant and cried against the cell wall, slamming my hand into the wall with anguish.

"Got me looking so crazy right now...Your love's got me looking so crazy right now...your love's got me looking so crazy right now..." I started singing emotionally. "Got me hoping you'll save me right now" I kept repeatedly hitting the wall. Then, I heard a voice in the cell next to me.

"Your kiss got me hoping you'll save me right now...your love's got me looking so crazy right now...got me looking ...your love's got me looking so crazy in love..." an emotional male voice cried out, also hitting the wall. I touched the wall, feeling the vibrations of each hit.

He was in pain.

I was in pain.

"Hello?" I called out.

"Who's that?" the voice answered.

"You can call me Harley... are you OK?"

"I will be" the voice responded.

"What's your name then?" I asked.

My neighbour didn't reply.

 _The Joker's Perspective:_

I don't believe it...Harley was crying out in pain, and unbelievably so was I. She was right next to me, she felt my frustration and I felt hers...but if I told her it was me, she'd probably break the wall down and try and kill me. Only this time, she'd actually succeed as I'm already a huge mess.

I heard my cell door open, it was a guard. A female guard ooooooooh!

"Joker, you're late for your weekly therapy session. On your feet, get a move on." the guard demanded.

Therapy? I wasn't going to go to any therapy session. No way, not with Harley being right next to me...my one _true_ therapist.

"I'd rather not, it's lazy Saturday." I chuckled.

"Clown, I'm not in the mood for your jokes." the guard responded, barging into my cell.

"And I'm not in the mood for you not being in the mood for my jokes." I joked.

"That's it, you're coming with me. You know what they do with troublemakers? They put them on death row...where you should be, not sure why they excused you from execution but I won't argue against the authorities decision."

"There is one reason, it's because they felt sorry for me." I said, picking up the plush jester from my bed. "Look at this little guy, aint he cute?" I asked playfully.

"Adorable..." the guard groaned.

"Know what else is adorable?" I asked mischievously.

"I don't care." the guard responded, uninterested in my toys.

I walked up to the guard and put my wrists out to her.

"You seem like a nice girl. I bet you would learn to love this clown if you gave me a chance." I flirtatiously played with her mind.

Was I trying to make her fall in love with me? Hell no, I'm a one girl type of guy now that I've got Harley. Before that...well that's another story.

The guard grabbed me by the wrists and forced handcuffs onto them. She shoved me out of the cell and slammed the cell door behind her.

The guard spoke into the radio on her shoulder. "B34 requesting assistance with inmate #97. Over"

"Received, B34. B19 and B27 assist." the radio vibrated as one of the guards responded.

"Assistance? Am I really that difficult to get on with?" I asked.

"Shut it, clown." she raised her voice.

Guard numbers B19 and B27 approached me with riot shields.

"I think you're over-reacting a little...don't you?" I queried.

"I said shut it!" the female guard shouted angrily.

"Walk." one of the guards carrying a riot shield ordered.

Riot shields were a bit excessive and unnecessary but I am an unpredictable clown maniac after all.

I uttered a few small steps then stopped. I was shoved forward and I stumbled my legs on the floor.

"Walking isn't really my thing." I announced.

The guards looked at me angrily.

Hey...I wasn't trying to be awkward...OK that's a lie, I was definitely trying to be awkward hahaha.

The guard whacked me with her nightstick in the stomach. Oooh, she's got some fight in her after all. No, I'm not falling for her. Stop thinking that.

"Like that? I can keep it going until you move." she stated.

"Isn't that against your moral code? You know...hurting the prisoners?" I enquired.

"We have authority to do whatever we want with you."

"If you say so." I sighed.

The guards put their riot shields down and assisted the female guard.

The guards who were previously holding riot shields attempted to get a firm hold on my arms but before they could I intercepted a rifle from their hands and shot them both dead.

They weren't wearing armour, the riot shield was their only protection and they let their guard down. It was their fault. The female guard... I kept her alive because I thought I could try reasoning with her. I have a good way with females, you know.

"You want to end up dead like them, my dear?" I asked, aiming the rifle sights at the female guard.

"How did you...?" she muttered.

"I have my ways" I smirked. She attempted to call for help but I grabbed and ripped the radio off her shoulder pad. I threw it on the ground and crushed it with my foot. "That's a bad idea, you can't call for help just because I'm winning. Where's the fun in that?"

"What do you want, Joker? What do you want with me?" she asked, not too afraid of my threatening stance.

"Open that cell." I ordered, pointing at Harley's cell.

"Why?"

"Don't question me, sweetie just do it!" I demanded.

She nervously unlocked the cell door and opened it inwards.

"Thanks" I said, shooting the female guard...not really paying much attention to my aim. She was dead after the amount of bullets I put into her though, I was sure of that.

I didn't want to kill that guard, but I couldn't risk Harley getting jealous. It wouldn't be something that would ride on my conscience, I've obviously killed before. You get used to being a psychopathic clown eventually, I wouldn't go back to being sane. Not even if you paid me.

I closed the cell door behind me.

"Puddin...?" Harley asked nervously.

"I heard you, I heard you Harley. I heard your pain. You were in pain." I walked in her cell slowly and calmly. "I was next to you, Harley. I was also in pain." I explained sadly.

"That was you? You were banging on the wall and singing to yourself"

"So were you, my poor girl" I stated emotionally, looking into her eyes apologetically. I touched her cheek with my hand, she put her hand onto my hand and guided my hand across her face.

"I had no idea you felt like that...but I can't...I can't let you hurt me anymore." she removed herself from my friendly touch and turned her back to me. "I'm sorry...this was all my fault." she said sadly.

"Harley, I'm sorry. What happened before...it was horrible, I was unfair and I hurt you, I hurt you badly. I regret harming your sweet little face, your beautiful body and your affectionate and forgiving personality. I would never let another girl replace you, that's why I killed that guard." I was deeply and sincerely sorry, I never felt guilt like this before. Me, The Joker feeling guilty...that's something I never thought I'd experience. "Here, I brought this with me, for you." I held out my hands, I still had the plush jester which looked like a toy version of Harley. "This is my most prized possession, you know why? Because whenever I look at it, I think of you."

Harley turned around and looked at my hands, she cupped the toy into her palms and looked at it with adoration.

"You have a more prized possession, puddin" she said putting the toy on her bed gently. "You have the real Harley Quinn to snuggle with at night" she said flirtatiously, snuggling her face onto my cheek and wrapping her arms around my waist.

"Whilst I can't promise I won't try killing or hurting you again... my dear Harley...I can promise that I will always love you. I feel for you like I've never felt anything like it before. From the moment I glanced upon your blue eyes, I knew I had found someone very special. My Harley, my beautiful, loveable and adorable Harley Quinn." I lovingly wrapped my arms around her body too.

Harley touched my cheeks with her hands and kissed me on the lips. She moved over to the bed and sat down, holding the jester plush in her hands. "So, Mistah J...what's the plan?" she asked playfully.

"Escape this shitty prison?" I suggested.

"Sounds like a plan ta me." she said, opening the cell door.

Harley picked up the rifle from the ground and held it close to her. She could handle a large automated firearm? Really? I wasn't going to argue...after all it was her who was holding the gun.

We started walking menacingly towards the prison entrance, we'll force our way out of this place with bullets and blood if we have to.

"I want to say I love prison orange, but it's so not my colour." I complained.

"Yeah, this beige shit isn't mine either, I actually don't know why they use orange for male inmates and a creamy mess for female inmates. Sexism much?"

"Don't worry, we'll get them back eventually...all of those who imprisoned us, hurt us, tried to separate us...all of them. They will all pay... a lot of money to not be tortured or murdered by good ol Uncle J."

"Does Uncle J do house-calls?" she asked mischievously.

"Uncle J sure does..." I said, grating my teeth and looking at Harley's evil grin.

"Goodie! What about B-MAN?"

"Our good friend bats will have his just desserts soon enough, my dear" I said sinisterly. "But not quite yet, he's way too much fun to torment" I added.

"Hmm, where do you think all the guards are?"

"Dead or at home? They deserve a break after all what's gone on today. They really need to step up their security though, this was far too easy!"

"Mhm, it was fun though. It was fun because you made it fun, puddin." she smiled at me.

"I try and make everything fun" I smiled back at her. Her eyes had that glint in them, telling me she was happy. "I love you, Harley." I said softly.

"I love you too, puddin" she replied, stopping to kiss me on the cheek.

"You're not gonna turn around and try and kill me again are ya?" I asked nervously.

"We'll see" she replied unpredictably.

I swallowed nervously, holding her hand whilst she held the assault rifle up in the air confidently.

At the reception desk, we were stopped by the woman sitting behind the glass. I let Harley shoot her multiple times and then we walked out of the front doors happily.

I think nearly all of the prison staff were dead by now. They were idiotic thinking they could detain The Joker and Harley Quinn.

Nobody will ever detain us, they can try as many times as they want. We'll always figure out a way to escape...always.

Know why? Because we're insane. Insanity is the key to unlocking potential and that potential to convince yourself and others to obey your every command, even if it's crazy and suicidal.

Harley proved this, she proved to me enough that I now know she isn't pretending with me anymore. I don't think I realized this until recently.


	27. Make Your Mark

_**MAKE YOUR MARK**_

 _Harley Quinn's Perspective:_

Remember what you learnt at medical school they said, it'll help you they said. I can't say that I believe it will. Mistah J and I are happy together...though understanding what makes a criminal 'tick' might prove a useful skill indeed.

 _Make your mark, girl...make the world know your name. Make them beg for mercy at your hand, make them scream when they see you coming. Make them want to kill themselves...make them give you what you want...make them pay...make them all pay._

Yes...yes! They will all pay for what they did.

"Gotham needs ta pay. Whatsay you Mistah J?" I suggested sinisterly.

"I couldn't agree more, my dear." he replied, on board with my suggestion.

"Want to break into a bank?" I asked.

"Got money on your mind?"

"I'm just bored." I moaned.

"Me too. Know the quickest route to the bank?"

"I just found one" I pointed at a magenta coloured super-car with gold outlined details. A custom-made Infiniti G35 Vaydor... parked on the side of the road, slightly askew and tyres bumped up onto the path. It was the perfect car.

"You're suggesting stealing this car? You're really evil aren't you? And I love it!" he clearly liked my suggestion of stealing this car, I mean it was definitely his colour. It was a beast too, from the exterior you could tell a lot of time and money was put into this vehicle. And then we were just going to steal it, finders keepers guys, seriously!

"It looks expensive" I examined the car closely, touching the paintwork. "I like expensive stuff"

"Who doesn't love expensive stuff? Money is overrated, stealing is the fun part about expensive stuff! I mean let's say I go to the store and see a really nice and expensive watch and let's say it's $200. Now, I _could_ buy the watch with money, or I could go back to the store after hours, break into the shop and steal it for free! And then the best part is I can spend that $200 on something else, or keep stealing everything! Personally, I'd rather keep that $200 and save it for a rainy day. Or maybe I could just taunt someone with it, get some loser to dance for a penny of that $200!" Mistah J laughed.

"And then kill them?" I asked.

"You took the words right out of my mouth!"

"Tehehe" I giggled. "So... about this car."

"No keys, but who needs keys when you've got a baseball bat?" Mistah J asked, pointing at my baseball bat which was in my hands.

I rescued it from the confiscation cupboard... OK fine... evidence room, same thing! Someone must've found it and brought it in, marking it as evidence for a crime scene. My precious baseball bat shall suffer no such punishment!

"Do you even know how to hot-wire a car?" I asked, looking at him unconvinced with his supposed car mechanic skills. I mean, he's a criminal and probably steals cars all the time...wait, what was the point I was trying to make?

"Not that difficult, just play around with wires and try not to electrocute yourself in the process!" he explained, adding some humour into the sentence as well. He always does that.

"Right...one fatal swing should do it then" I said, swinging the baseball bat at the window nearest to the driver's seat.

The car window smashed into shards of glass in varying sizes. Mistah J reached his arm into the broken car window and unlocked the door.

"Why thank you kindly for letting me park your car! I am a professional valet driver of course, I have crashed and stolen many cars with great succession!" he announced, I wasn't sure who he was actually talking to. Mistah J stretched his body over the car seat and attempted to spark the two wires together to kick-start the car engine. After a few attempts, the engine responded and revved up loudly. "Who needs keys?" he assumed his position in the driver's seat, adjusting the interior mirror to suit his height so he could see his handsome face in it.

He tried the accelerator, causing the engine to spurt smoke from the tyres. The car was fully working and sounded like an incredibly powerful beast.

The white luxury interior lit up in a light neon purple, there was also an underglow of the same colour, lighting up the floor underneath the car.

He unlocked the other doors by pressing a button on the dashboard.

"My puddin is so clever!" I said, opening the door on the other side. I stepped into the car, swinging my legs inside and adjusting my cute little body into the seat. My bottom was snuggling into the luxury material which I was sitting on. This car was pure luxury, it was beautiful, expensive and powerful. Everything a girl looks for in a car, or a boyfriend hehehe.

"Ready for a ride, my dear? I warn you that I haven't driven a car like this for a few days, I might accidentally kill someone or completely ruin someone's day... But hey! At least people get to see this amazing beast on the road. Driving at full speed like it should be, not admired on the side of the path or driven at the actual speed limit. Speed limits are meant to be broken, after all."

"Hell yeah! Let's get this baby on the road and see what it can really do!" I said excitedly.

The car sprung into life and the tyres rolled off the curb, the engine roaring confidently as it prepared for a high-speed cruise.

Mistah J drove the car with ease, shifting gears, experimenting with the various gadgets in the car and swerving out of the way of oncoming traffic. The car handled perfectly. Although Mistah J's eyes were concentrated on the road, he would take his glance from the road and utter me a little mischievous smirk, and then he'd get really _really_ close to another car but only just manage to scrape some of the paintwork off without causing a major dent.

I didn't think we'd be covered for insurance on a car that wasn't ours, it doesn't really work like that...I know, it sucks but hey that's the law for you.

"We've been invited to an...evening dinner. Unknown associate of yours...said he was a 'friend'" Mistah J mentioned, continuing to drive but turning his head to engage in a conversation with me occasionally.

"Did he mention his name, who invited you? Or rather...who asked on someone else's behalf?" I asked.

"Actually yes, it was me...I'm inviting you to dinner at a restaurant and hosting a party, a private dinner party. Just you and me. Would you like to accept your invitation?" he asked, turning his head to smile at me and then focusing back on the road.

"Of course! Oh-my-god of course! That's so romantic awww!" I squealed happily and flirtatiously hugged him whilst he was driving. Only for a second, I didn't want him to crash the car and kill us both. "But what happened about the bank heist?" I asked, though I wasn't exactly bothered about the heist...a romantic dinner with my puddin was _much_ better.

"Perfect, I booked the entire restaurant for the whole evening as well as some entertainment."

"Entertainment?"

"Remember Mark? I saw you loved 'you smile I smile' so much that I actually arranged another session at the restaurant. But the staff don't know that bit just yet." he said, smirking.

"You going to record it, puddin?"

"There's always time for a selfie, always... hahahahaha!" he laughed, pulling out his smartphone from his pocket and showing it to me.

"You're looking smokin' hot Mistah J" I said, admiring his body. "I think the car's fumes must be making you even more sexy than you already are."

"And you're looking stunning."

"Awwww, thanks puddin" I said, blushing slightly.

"No thanks required, a compliment is due for an incredibly beautiful woman. And as your boyfriend, I have the responsibility of telling you this every day"

I blushed until my cheeks turned bright pink. He was being so incredibly flirtatious and gentlemanly. It was so romantic. I can't wait until our special dinner date together.


	28. Table For Two

_**TABLE FOR TWO**_

The car slowed down until Mistah J parked it directly in front of the restaurant entrance. Like a limousine gets parked to let a celebrity out, it was like I was his celebrity and he was about to walk me down the red carpet.

He turned the engine off, got out of the car and closed the door behind him. He walked around to the other side of the car and opened the door. He offered his hand to me, I took hold of his hand and stepped out of the car.

At least we were back in our original clothes again...he was in his maroon shirt but this time donned a more formal silver jacket slipped over the top. It was almost like we had a huge shopping trip in the evidence room, all of our clothes and weapons had been confiscated. Me? I changed from my prisoner uniform back into my baseball jacket ensemble. I took the first chance I could to get out of that prisoner clothing. Turns out, a public toilet wasn't the perfect space to change clothes but luckily nobody saw me whilst I was changing outfits. If they even peeked at me whilst I was changing, they would lose their eyes permanently but it didn't come to that...a little disappointing but oh well.

"What do you think?" he asked, looking at the restaurant. Hahaha...it was an _incredibly_ posh restaurant. So posh in fact that it was just his apartment...oh my god what a joker he is hahaha. "Alright so it's not exactly a restaurant but certainly the most romantic place where we can eat and enjoy some entertainment isn't it?"

"Anywhere is romantic with you puddin" I smiled, hiding my slight disappointment that it wasn't an actual restaurant. "Aren't you worried about getting caught here though? I mean this is where we got cornered and arrested in the first place..."

"Nah, because it's the place they'd expect me to be...it's the most obvious place so they wouldn't think to check. A little reverse psychology hahahaha"

"And the entertainment is just a guy you chained up in the basement earlier?"

"Exactly."

"Oh you little Joker you..." I said playfully, pointing at him.

"Do I get points for effort?" he asked playfully, unlocking the apartment door.

We stepped inside the apartment...amazing...oh my god...this was actually impressive. He had completely redecorated the apartment to look like a posh restaurant, it looked like a really high class apartment now. How did he manage this?

Mistah J flicked on the lights.

The whole place was designed as a stylish, expensive and luxury suite, fitted with modern furniture and spacious rooms.

"How did you get it from looking like a shit-hole to this amazing place?" I asked in awe of the newly decorated apartment.

"I know people" he winked. "OK, confession time this isn't my original apartment...it's a brand new apartment I bought the other day, I spent all week hiding it from you, the old apartment we were in was a shit-hole you're right!" he smiled at me. "Has nobody told you to not judge a book by it's cover?"

"More times than I can count..." I groaned.

"The outside of the building is deceiving, but the inside as you can see is quite something...so about our entertainment." he paused, going into the apartment lounge area. "Have you met our friend?" he asked, showing me a woman tied up to a chair. "Amazingly, this little madame here thought it was appropriate to try and insult me in the street. I gotta hand it to her though, she got herself in a lot of trouble by throwing the typical 'ugly ass freak' comment at me." Mistah J said, slapping the woman.

The woman tried to muffle from under the fabric which was tied around her head.

"What was that? You called my puddin an ugly ass freak? Well take a look at yourself, bitch!" I got right up in her face, angrily staring at her. I also slapped the woman.

"I know right? I politely warned her what happens to people like her, she tried running and screaming...can you believe it? Like how rude is that?" he asked, pacing around the room angrily.

"How much food have we got, puddin?" I asked, my stomach was growling at me.

"It's in the cupboard, depends on what you want"

I opened the cupboard. There was a note on the shelf next to the food.

The note read:

'Harley, please pass me this knife and enjoy some entertainment with your food.

Love you,

-Mister J'

There was a sharp knife placed next to the note. I picked up the knife and handed it over to Mistah J. He took it from me and directed his attention towards the woman, threatening her with the knife.

"Can you hold on, puddin? I gotta make myself something to eat." I said.

"Check the fridge." he responded.

I opened the fridge door and looked on the shelf. It was a pre-made meal of pasta. Next to the plate was another note.

The note read:

'Enjoy yourself tonight, my princess of crime

-Mister J'

Cold pasta isn't my favourite meal, but that's nothing the microwave can't fix. I place the plate in the microwave and set the timer for a couple of minutes.

"Gimme a couple of minutes, OK?" I asked, smiling at Mistah J.

"Sure thing, we'll wait...won't we?" he replied, smiling back at me. He clenched his fingers around the woman's jaw and continued threatening her.

The microwave beeped. I took the plate out of the microwave. I don't need oven gloves, oven gloves are for wusses. The plate wasn't even that hot.

I grabbed a fork from the drawer in the kitchen area and leant against the table, putting the plate on the table surface and occasionally taking a mouthful. You're suggesting I should sit at the table like a normal person? I think you of all people would know I'm not normal by now...honestly, what am I going to do with you?

"Ready when you are, puddin" I said, taking a mouthful of my late-night pre-made dinner. "But first..." I grabbed a knife from the kitchen drawer. "Just in case I need to cut my dinner up" I said, glaring at the woman.

No, you don't use a knife to cut pasta up...you're really full of stupid thoughts tonight. It's useful if our party guest here gets any funny ideas, or if my puddin gets tired and needs to me to takeover from him. I held the knife menacingly, showing it to the tied up woman.

"Now, let's do some roleplaying! Pretend I'm the bouncer at the club and you're the party guest." he moved the cloth out from the woman's mouth. "You gotta convince me why I should let you in, or if we're speaking out of roleplay then you gotta convince me why I shouldn't kill you." he explained.

Roleplay? That was a new one. The woman was dressed fairly casually, looked like a stuck up bitch with straight jet black hair, perfect teeth and perfect face. The typical perfect bitchy slut type of a girlfriend who would sleep and have sex with everyone and expect to be treated better than everyone else. She deserves everything Mistah J does to her. People like her make me sick. Sick.

"Fuck you, clown" she said spitefully, spitting some blood from her mouth.

"Well! Someone's had a bad day haven't they? What happened, were you late for work? Did the cashier give you a tip in just change instead of notes? It can't be because you were kidnapped and tied up here and now being tortured for my girlfriend's entertainment...that's a great day for you! Hahahahaha!" He put the blade to her mouth. "You know, I actually really love it when a girl speaks to me like that..." He paused, looking over at me. "But only when it's my Harley who's doing it!" Mistah J slapped the woman and wiped the blood off of his face. "Blood stains often compliment the appearance, you know? I think you could take some advice on fashion because you clearly look like a fucking mess! I mean look at you! Fresh bruises, messed up hair and clothes...hell it's like you were trying to impress your fiancé and then dumped him at the alter!" he said, laughing.

"At least I can say I have a husband, what are you to this bitch here? She looks like she's drunk." the woman said, smiling at Mistah J bravely.

"Insulting me...that's one thing...Insulting HARLEY? Well...I think we'll ask her what she thinks shall we?" Mistah J asked me.

I smashed the plate on the floor and walked over to her angrily.

"I think your food is for eating, not throwing on the floor" the woman said, looking at me unimpressed.

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" I asked, scolding the woman.

"She doesn't have a mother anymore, I killed her!" Mistah J replied humorously.

"Fuck you, I'm not scared of any of your shit." the woman said angrily.

"Such bad language! Maybe I ought to cut out that tongue of yours?" Mistah J put the knife blade dangerously close to her mouth.

"Go ahead, I dare you" the woman replied, staring at Mistah J.

I got my knife from the table and also edged it towards her mouth, the other side of her mouth so both corners could be sliced open at any moment.

"Shall we, puddin?" I asked, readying my hand holding the knife.

"Together?" Mistah J smiled at me.

"Together" I replied, smiling back at him.

We both moved our knives and carved an uneven smile on her face. It didn't exactly match up but it got the idea across anyway. Blood poured from her new scar. She coughed and choked on her own blood flow until her eyes remained open.

"Now that...oh that's much better." I said to the woman, admiring her new smile.

"Go in the bedroom, I have a present for you" Mistah J said softly.

I sprinted to the bedroom and admired the outfit which lay on the duvet. I picked it up and skipped back into the living area.

"What's this, puddin?" I asked.

"It's for you" he replied, smiling at me.

"Oh my god! I love it!"

"I knew you would"

I ran back into the bedroom and stripped nearly naked. My bra and knickers were still firmly grasping my body to allow me to flaunt my fabulous figure.

I changed my clothing into a beautiful black and silver diamond patterned dress. I untied my hair and let it fall loose over my shoulders. I proceeded to make sure I looked incredibly sexy for Mistah J by admiring myself in the mirror. I also noticed a smart looking white tuxedo on the bed as well.

I re-entered the living area and posed.

"What do you think?" I asked, assuming a flirtatious pose and playing with his romance.

"Give me one moment" he replied, as he walked towards the bedroom. Minutes later he had assembled himself into the white tuxedo outfit and modelled in-front of me, taking my hand. "Fancy a night out?" he asked, kissing my hand.

I blushed.

"Puddin...I don't know what to say..." I said, still blushing at his romantic gestures.

"Say yes" he smiled. I didn't need to say yes, I instead hugged Mistah J closely, running my fingers through his hair. "Good, now one thing before we go" he assumed a more serious stance in front of me, pulling away from my hug slowly. "No matter what happens tonight, promise me you'll still be with me, by my side. Harley, promise me." he said seriously.

"I promise." I replied truthfully.

I didn't know what he was planning for the evening although I did know that I didn't get very much dinner and I was hungry...I guess smashing my plate on the floor had an upside though, a romantic dinner date with Mistah J!

"You look stunning, my dear"

"And you look handsome, Mistah J" I blushed.

"All formalities aside...are you sure you're ready for such a huge commitment?"

"Commitment?" I asked, confused.

"Remember what you promised" he replied.

"Hang on...what about this woman?" I asked, pointing at the woman.

Mistah J untied the woman from the chair and dragged her across the floor by the arm. He angrily threw her body out of the window. The window smashed and I don't know where the body actually landed.

"Problem solved." he skimmed his hands over each-other and adjusted his jacket professionally.

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

"Oh of course...how silly of me!" he kissed me on the cheek.

"No, not that...these." I pointed at his gloved hands. "Surely surgical gloves aren't something to wear for an romantic evening out with me?"

"No...how incredibly unfashionable of me to think so..." he replied sarcastically. "And yet they're useful, so I'll keep them in my pocket." he took off the gloves and stuffed them into his trouser pocket. "Better?"

I nod at him playfully. He glares at me.

"Do you really want to wear them?"

"No."

"Then why are you angry?"

"I'm not angry, I'm just thinking of all the fun we're going to have..."

"What kind of fun?"

"Oh you'll see...you will see." he said, smirking maniacally towards me.

I wasn't sure if that meant something bad revolving around me...or someone else, but to be honest I didn't actually care. It was exciting to go out for an evening drive. Though, he clearly has something _big_ planned for tonight.

We left the apartment building, shutting the door behind us. Or rather...slamming the door behind us, whatever you want to call it. We don't worry about possessions or even our lives, as long as you have good insurance then you're fine. Technically...threatening the guy to give us free insurance wasn't necessarily part of the deal but still...free insurance! Which also means we can now claim all kinds of fraud and benefits. Free money and freedom to do whatever we want, whenever we want! It's a win-win situation!

You can't lose.


	29. Something Special

_**SOMETHING SPECIAL**_

 _The Joker's Perspective:_

I'm taking Harley out for a romantic drive this evening, or so she thinks. In actuality it's another bright idea of mine to shed some light into her thoughts...I want to know what else she's hiding from me. Believe me... this 'Suicide Squad' she mentioned is going to ruin everything, and if she's a part of this then I'm getting her out of it.

I opened the car door for her, as gentlemanly as I could...of course I'm not really a gentleman but at least she thinks I am. She smiled at me and ducked her head to step into the passenger seat, holding up her dress so it didn't get caught in the door. After she made herself comfortable in the seat, I closed the door behind her. I then proceeded to get into the driver's seat. I looked at Harley, with mischief clearly showing in my glare.

I placed my hands firmly on the steering wheel and adjusted the grip of my fingers. I dragged one of my hands and clenched the gear-stick, moving it out of neutral and into reverse.

My foot cranked down onto the accelerator, making the car's tyres smoke and the engine spurt violently. The other foot remained locked on the brake. After a huge smoke-screen was created, I removed my foot off the accelerator and stopped trying to show off...only just a little of course. I reversed the car, turning it around one-hundred-and-eighty-degrees so it was facing the direction which I would be driving in. We're heading back the way we came.

"Where are we going?" Harley asked.

"It's a surprise" I said, half enthusiastically.

"I love surprises!" she replied excitedly.

"Then you'll love this one." I smiled, crunching the gear-stick into first gear.

The car pulled out onto the road, I proceeded to break the speed limit by accelerating past the gears and swerving in and out of other cars. Driving dangerously was a more thrilling joy-ride.

I drove the car into a designated parking space. It wasn't reserved for me, but I can park where-ever I want. I'm The Joker. I'd like to see someone try and ask me to move my car from that particular parking space.

This time, it actually was a restaurant car park instead of my apartment. I owed her a romantic evening, but I didn't say it was going to just be a romantic evening...did I? No...there's _much_ more fun in store yet, just you wait.

The restaurant formally labelled as 'Street Cafe Deluxe' was an extremely upper class version of a cafe, with the exception that it was a five star eating establishment. Ugh... big words, don't even think about trying to sound sane again, Joker.

I'll make a mental note: 'Don't try and act sane.' Mental note is now scrunched up and rammed into a dusty corner of my brain, where everything else is.

Anyway...we stepped out of the car, dressed in our incredibly formal clothing and proceeded to the entrance of Street Cafe Deluxe. The glass doors were heavy to open, I held the door open to allow my beautiful plus one to walk inside first. I followed soon after, allowing the door to freely close after letting go.

There stood a waiter standing idle near a small table, dressed in formal attire...bow tie, suit vest with a crisp white undershirt and a piece of linen draped over his arm. He looked repulsively towards us, me especially.

"I know, it's the tattoos. Or is it the green hair that's getting under your skin?" I forced his head up, making him gaze at the face of The Joker. "Are you ashamed to look at me? That's bad, bad for you and for your business. Well we can go elsewhere...if you'd prefer." I looked at his badge which was pinned to his uniform vest. 'Joe' "Well, 'Joe'...We'd like to book a table, and for god sake would you stop trying to avert your eyes from me! That's incredibly rude and offensive, how would you feel if I didn't look at you?" I took out a gun from the holster hidden under my tuxedo, I pointed it backwards and shot the waiter. I didn't look at him when I shot him, see the irony of the situation? I kept the gun actively in my hand, just in case any of the other restaurant staff got any bright ideas. The other hand romantically held onto Harley's hand.

"You sure showed him, puddin" Harley smiled at me, after glancing at the body of the waiter. "What if someone finds his body?"

"Then they get shot too" I chuckled. The other customers were frantically trying to get out of their seats, screaming so loudly that they nearly shattered their fancy wine glasses. I shot a few rounds in the air to control the crowd. "Stay the fuck in your seats or I'll fucking kill you!" I shouted angrily. "Just... you know, carry on with what you were doing. Pretend I'm not here."

Harley walked over to a couple sitting at a dining table with two chairs near the back of the restaurant, overlooking a window.

"Enjoying your meal?" she asked them. The couple didn't reply. "I'm tryin' to be nice, the least ya could do is talk to me" I shuffled past the tables until I reached the one Harley was near. "I'll give your compliments to the chef then" Harley said, winking at me.

I aimed the revolver at the couple. "The lady asked you a question, at least she's not the one holding a gun to your head is she?" I put the gun close to the male customer's head. I glared at the female customer who he was dining with. "So tell me, how is your food?" I jumped up on the table, kicking everything off the surface of the table until it was clear. I decided to publicly address the snobby clientele in the restaurant. "Listen up! You may not know this but you're all dangerously close to being shoved into body bags...so I suggest you all enjoy your evening. We'll even provide some _entertainment_ for you!" I laughed, then jumped down from the table.

Harley and I stood in-front of the couple. I put my revolver towards the man's head. Harley got a discreet switch-blade knife out from her bra and put it towards the woman's neck.

"Let's invite them onto the stage, shall we?" Harley asked publicly.

The restaurant featured a small stage, with a pole used for pole-dancing in the middle of the stage.

We both forced the couple onto the stage, threatening stances still in play.

"This lucky couple gets to join in the special act tonight! You've got the best seats in the house! Front row seats like this would cost you a fortune if you bought them, think yourselves lucky you're witnessing this. And think yourselves even luckier that you still have your eyes to be able to view this amazing show of entertainment!" I laughed.

"Now... we can't have you two standing up! No, that'd be too uncomfortable for you." Harley said, running off to grab two dining chairs. The dining chairs they were originally sitting in. She shortly returned with one chair at a time.

"Take a seat" I ordered, gesturing politely for them to sit down. The couple sat in a chair each, scared shitless... that was to be expected. "Now, does anyone have a camera? Anyone?" I asked, looking around for a raised hand. "No? Nobody has a camera, not even a phone on them? Bullshit...do we have to come over there and rummage through your expensive handbags too?"

"I already did tehehehe" Harley giggled, holding up an expensive handheld camera which was found in the female hostage's handbag. She handed the camera to me and then reassured the woman she was in control, the knife near the throat situation was always a good way of making people talk.

I inspected the camera. "Well that's no good, it's got a massive crack in the lens!" I dropped the camera on the floor. "Doesn't even take a hit." I then turned to the couple. "Would you two take more hits than this camera?" I asked, putting my gun back in the holster and getting out my switch-blade from my pocket. Guns are so quick, you need to really savour the victim's suffering. "This, well this might be a little sharp to use for cutting up your tender meat which is either undercooked or burnt. Chefs can never get it right these days." I started explaining about something random, just to make them think I wasn't going to kill them. For that split-second just before the blade appears from the seemingly harmless sheath. Ping! Out it popped. There we were, about to ruin their romantic evening so me and Harley could have our own romantic evening together. The things I do for love...Hmph.

"What are we gonna do with them, puddin?" Harley asked, looking at me with a glint in her eye. An evil glint in her eye.

I turned to the entirety of the restaurant diners and projected my voice, asking an incredibly difficult question. "What do you think? Kill them or hurt them?" I paused for a few seconds, not allowing them to actually shout out an answer, but to choose for them. "Kill them? That's a great choice!" I laughed maniacally as I slit the male diner's throat open, Harley followed suit. Both diner's bodies slumped in their chair, gasping for medical attention. But receiving none. "Weren't they great sports? I think they deserve a round of applause!" I demanded the audience to cheer at my wrong-doings.

The diners nervously applauded, slowly and quietly.

"You can do better than that!" Harley shouted, raising the bloodied knife up in the air, fresh blood dripping from the blade.

"Thank goodness I didn't get any blood on my nice white tux" I said, checking the clothing for any signs of red staining. My hands and fingers had blood on. I grabbed a napkin from one of the tables and wiped my hands with it. I then gave it back to the diner that was using it. "Here, no extra charge" I laughed.

"What are we gonna do with all of these losers, Mistah J?" Harley asked.

"Not my problem" I said, walking out of the restaurant. I dropped a small object full of laughing gas on my way out. Harley followed behind and shut the door behind her...exposing the remaining diners to uncontrollable laughter for several minutes. Giving us both enough time to escape.

"Now that was fun, wasn't it?" I asked, looking at Harley.

"Wasn't as romantic as I was expecting though..."

"Oh, but the night is still young! I've got plenty more things planned for us"

"Such as?" she asked in anticipation.

"You of all people should know that spoiling the surprise is like spoiling the joke, and spoiling something makes it less exciting. Remember that present I gave you for your birthday? If I told you I was going to buy you a new baseball bat then you wouldn't appreciate it as much. And you know I'm right, that's why you've got that adorable little frown on your face." I explained.

"That's not why I have a frown on my face..." Harley said, looking nervously through the restaurant window. "What happened to them, Mistah J?" she asked, staring through the window in horror. Not because of what happened, but because of the unexpected. Harley knew... I knew that it was just a joke.

I looked through the window. The diners... they were all dead. Now, OK that wasn't actually me this time...the laughing gas, that just makes them laugh...you know...it just makes them feel like they're having a really good time? "Why are you unhappy about the deaths of some snobby diners?" I asked. Though I did want them to suffer...I didn't plan to kill these people. Now the joke is ruined, it's ruined and it's all someone's fault. I don't know who to blame, I can't blame Harley...for once.

Unless I planned to kill these diners without actually thinking about planning to kill these diners. So maybe I was thinking to kill these diners and then plan my escape and then end up killing these diners anyway?

For fun, I hope. That's my main motive, fun...enjoyment...jokes.

But why did I care about if I just killed a load of diners? A load of useless, self-assured people who would probably sell their own children to make some quick cash. Why...would...I...The Joker...care about anything...anyone. Other than myself?

Fuck...I think I'm going soft. I knew just slitting their throats wouldn't be enough, and yet when I take it further it's like a brick wall appears out of nowhere and gives me a guilty conscience. This wasn't the first time I've felt it either, when I hurt Harley...nearly killed her, left her to die. I felt the same...guilt. Me... feeling guilty...that's just a crime in itself.

"What's wrong, puddin?" she asked, looking at my mental breakdown with concern. "Puddin?" she repeated, gently placing her hand on my shoulder.

Her words echoed into my brain but didn't register, her sweetness fell flat on my ears.

"Nothing...I'm...I'm fine." I reassured her, though in myself I knew I wasn't fine. Maybe I should talk to Harley about it, after all she was my therapist. I produced a large heart-felt sigh. "Can I...talk with you?" I asked sadly.

"You can tell me anything, puddin. You know that." she comforted me.

"This 'Suicide Squad' you mentioned...the thought of you being in it, it's messing me up. It's really playing on my mind...I can't have you risking your life to get rid of your prison sentence." I explained, looking into her eyes with deep concern. "I feel remorse...pain... sadness. I now realize that I do care about you. Your life means something to me, Harley." I touched her hand, pressing it up against my chest. "I will take the pain for what you've done, you will not rot in prison or die young. I promise you that."

"What? Mistah J...you're never like this...why are you behaving this way?"

"You're the doctor...you tell me."

"But I'm not a doctor anymore...you changed me. You made me like this."

"You're still Harleen and you will always be... Harleen Quinzel."

"Please...don't do this!" she hugged me despairingly, dragging my hands around her waist as she squeezed my body tightly.

"I'm sorry...but knowing that you're associated with other criminals in an attempt to risk your own life, that's too much of a burden on my shoulders." I pulled away from her affection reluctantly. I stepped inside the car, closing and locking the doors to prevent her from trying to stop me. I lowered the car window nearest to the driver's seat. "I'm putting an end to this madness. Goodbye, Harley" I raised the window back up.

"NO!" she shouted, banging on the window furiously and attempting to open the car door. I simply looked at her through the tinted window, giving her one final reassuring smile before driving off.

Leaving her, once again with utter regret.

I'll find and kill this entire 'Suicide Squad.' As well as anyone associated with them, government officials included. Harley won't join forces with them again, not if I have anything to say about it. If I find out she's been requested for another mission... I will personally make sure that they fail their objectives.

I'm mostly sad, but also frustrated that she's been forced to partake in suicidal missions just to get out of death row. Death row is the final strike, there are no more chances after being transferred...believe me, I know. Taking on these missions in exchange for a 'pardon' on her prison sentence is not worth the risk...or the reward.

From what I know so far...these missions are designed to be high-risk and 'suicidal'. Sometimes...not all of the members in the squad come out alive. They're always swapping the dead for fresh meat. Harley Quinn is not fresh meat, and she will certainly not be replaced.

I'd rather die than let Harley spend another minute with those criminals.

And if the time comes to it, I'll gladly do it myself.


	30. Out In The Cold

**_OUT IN THE COLD_**

 _Harley Quinn's Perspective:_

It's cold, dark and depressing, and I'm not just talking about my heart right now. This was it, his final goodbye...he was out to kill someone, maybe more than one person. Even as his psychiatrist I couldn't work out what was wrong with him. It seems I still can't. He's all over the place and I'm wondering why I still feel obliged to call him my 'puddin'. Despite everything that's happened, including tonight...my heart just won't break into more pieces It physically can't.

I don't think he's moved on, he's doing this for me...the level of emotion he was showing me was so unlike him...he even cried in-front of me. It couldn't be because of the restaurant disaster, that wouldn't have bothered him at all. My involvement in this 'Suicide Squad' was clearly the issue, but one I couldn't help. If I refuse a direct order, I die. If I step out of line, I die. If I even annoy Rick Flag in the slightest...I die. Sure, right now I'm free from their control but how long would it be before I was called upon again?

Each successful suicide mission would only move my death sentence so far...before it looms again. I can't live like this, knowing that every day might be my last. Knowing that these other criminals, government officials and guards might kill me suddenly in my sleep. And knowing that whilst I sleep... Mistah J is out there, fighting to get me out of this mess.

I'm worried about him, I don't know what he plans to do, where he plans to go. I am more worried about him than I am about myself. Maybe that's the thing that worries me most: the fact that he broke my heart, but now he's out there... fighting for my life.

Risking his own life for mine.

I collected myself and wiped the tears from my face. The only problem now is I don't have anywhere to go. I'm in the middle of this restaurant car park...directly next to a crime scene. I don't have a home to return to...The Joker's apartment isn't even my home anymore, is it?

My only choice...is to request transport. No taxi driver would gladly take me in the back of their cab, everyone knows who Harley Quinn is by now.

Being stuck like this, in the rain...in the dark...on my own. It's scary...it's actually frightening to know I'm out here to fend for myself. At least I have the small switch-blade knife on me, I'm not unarmed.

Things could be much worse...right?

My hair and clothing were soaking wet, sticking to my body and making me feel uncomfortable. My makeup was smudging, making my tears look more devastating.

I entered the restaurant building, hoping to find a mobile phone and call for some help. At this point, any help would be better than no help at all.

I found an expensive handbag on the floor, next to one of the dining tables. I rummaged through it. Twenty dollars, a small mobile phone and some prescription tablets. I took the twenty dollars and stored it in my bra.

Note to self, next time I go out on a date...wear clothes with pockets.

I tried the mobile phone. There was a lock screen, asking for a password. What the hell was I going to do to unlock the phone? I looked around, I soon found another phone, sitting on one of the tables. This smartphone had a lock screen but didn't require a passkey, I simply swiped the screen with my finger and the phone unlocked.

I dialled '911' into the keypad. I placed the phone up to my ear and listened to the ringing.

Someone answered, an emergency services automated voice. "911, what's your emergency?" the automated voice asked.

I paused, unsure of what to say. I ended the call. How could I do this? It goes against everything...everything a criminal stands for. Turning yourself in...what's the point?

I took a deep breath and accepted what had to be done. I re-dialled '911.'

"911, what's your emergency?" the same automated voice asked.

"Hello...my name is Harley Quinn...I want to...I want to confess the murder of ...several people at Street Cafe Deluxe..." I said, stuttering nervously.

The call ended abruptly. I can't believe I just confessed to a crime...confessed murder. What did I just do?

Is there any possible way I can convince the officers now on their way to arrest me that I have a genuine reason not to be arrested? Maybe a 0.1% chance...if that.

Standing near the restaurant door, I see an approaching police car park outside of the building. An ordinary GCPD officer stepped out of the vehicle, unarmed and looking seemingly nice. As policemen go...this guy on first impressions seems like he might not smash my head against the bonnet of the car and arrest me.

But then...looks can be deceiving.

I stepped out of the restaurant and approached the police car, looking miserable. At least it had stopped raining. I decided to adopt a more serious tone rather than my naturally adorable one.

"Harley Quinn? What are you doing here? You're meant to be in Blackgate." the officer looked at me, he actually looked concerned. He offered his arm around my shoulder and allowed me to lean against the car. I was shivering, he could see I was in pain, that I'd been through a lot tonight. "I know you think I'm here to arrest you, but you look like you've had a rough day...what happened?" he asked.

"I know you have no authority to believe me... but I was enjoying a nice romantic evening with my boyfriend. Then he drove off, left me in the rain after killing all of these diners in the restaurant. I was left here, on my own...cold, wet...I thought I'd phone the police because I didn't know what else to do." I explained.

"You poor thing, here...get in the warm." he opened the car door, and allowed me to sit inside the car. He left the door open and continued talking to me.

This has got to be the nicest police officer I have ever met. I might even take back the stereotypical comment of 'all policemen are jerks.'

"Why are you being so nice to me? Don't you care about my criminal record?" I asked curiously.

"Prison and Blackgate are two very different places. I think you deserve to be in the nicer of the two. Though, if you escaped from Blackgate before...why should I bother arresting you again?"

I shrugged sadly. "I have no where else to go."

"Damn...I normally wouldn't say this. I'll probably get sacked for saying this, but why don't you let me take you back to Blackgate? As a psychiatric patient rather than an inmate. Before... you were an inmate in the Psychiatric Facility at Blackgate. I know your criminal record, of course I do...but how can I let a sweet little thing like you to be executed back on death row? I can't."

"What's the difference? It's still being locked up."

"No, being a patient at Blackgate is very different to being an inmate at Blackgate. Being a patient allows you to at least have a choice whether to comply or not. As an inmate...as you already know...you're forced to comply. They're rebuilding Arkham Asylum too, plans have been confirmed for the reconstruction of Arkham over the next five years."

"You're saying I'll be locked up but have a choice? That still sounds like prison."

"You can't expect me to let you walk free, not after everything you've done. This is a fair compromise, I'd say."

"I guess"

"I could alternatively take you to Belle Reve Prison, if you'd prefer"

"No! Uh...No, Blackgate is fine." I said nervously.

Belle Reve Prison was where the Suicide Squad was held, where I was captured, locked up, drugged and assigned to the first ever death-ridden black ops mission. They even strapped bombs to our necks...just in case we got any ideas to escape.

Eventually, as part of the deal they let us walk free...until the next mission, which I feared would be soon. Being taken there would be an open ticket to sign up for the next suicide mission.

I'd rather stay in Blackgate.

"Blackgate it is then."

"One thing though, if you had to choose. Would you choose the chest or the neck?" I asked, sneaking the switch-blade into my hand whilst the officer was pacing around.

"Oh, I'd definitely choose the head" the officer replied, grabbing his pistol and pointing it at me. "After all the empathy I gave you...you're just like all the others. You won't change, you'll never change." I dropped the knife on the ground and raised my hands up in the air nervously. "I'm arresting you for the murder of several people inside Street Cafe Deluxe. You're heading to Belle Reve Prison, the most locked down place for detaining super-villains known to exist . There is no way you'll be breaking out of there." he smirked, grabbing the handcuffs which were attached to his belt. The officer proceeded to fasten the handcuffs on my wrists firmly. He then shut the car door beside me.

I didn't know what to feel, but let's go with wanting to scream my head off. Yeah, let's agree that's how I'm feeling right now.

The police officer got in the driver's seat and slammed the door shut behind him. He looked at me through the rear view mirror. I scowled at him.


	31. Can't Stay Away

_**CAN'T STAY AWAY**_

The journey was going to be at least an hour's drive before the transfer would take place. I was just sitting in the back of a police car, sulking to myself for allowing this to happen.

And then suddenly, out of no-where...a car rammed directly into the side of the police vehicle. The police car was driven off the road and crashed against a billboard. The police car sustained a huge dent to the opposite side where I was sitting. The GCPD officer was knocked unconscious by the collision.

The driver of the other car stepped out of the vehicle and moved over to the damaged police car.

The driver knocked on the window.

I was struggling to move my hands which were still chained together. I finally managed to get into a position where I could get a grip on the door handle. I opened the door and swung my legs around. A stretched out hand was offered down to me, taking hold of me and carefully helping me out of the police car.

There stood either a psychopath driving like a lunatic...or a hero trying to rescue me. I very much doubt it was Batman. With blurred vision, I looked up at my saviour.

Oh for fuck sake...welcome aboard the irony train.

Of course...of fucking course it was The Joker. He raided the police officer's pockets and stole the key to my handcuffs. I stretched my wrists out to him angrily. He unlocked my handcuffs and then kissed me.

I backed away from his kiss. "What sick game are you playing?" I asked, rubbing my now-unchained wrists.

"The same game which clearly you're not playing properly." he stated, looking at me disappointedly. "You got arrested again? I thought you would've learnt by now that you can take care of yourself."

I shoved him backwards. "You left me in the rain, in the dark, I was freezing cold and you drove off and said 'goodbye'! Never to see me again!" I shouted. "How much more do you want to hurt me, huh? If breaking my heart, nearly killing me and abandoning me multiple times isn't enough...then what is?"

"You were being taken to Belle Reve. As soon as I found out, I was determined to get you out of this arrest before you got over there. The car took a dent, sure but it's not exactly my car so it doesn't matter. Anyway...are you hurt?"

"Only emotionally..." I said, still angry at him.

"I appreciate your anger, but I had a good reason. This Suicide Squad will get you killed, and I'll gladly kill every one of them to ensure you're safe." he explained. He still cared? How did I know he wasn't making all of this up...just like he usually does. "I meant what I said, Harley." he assured me he was telling the truth.

I believed him. For no other reason than love would he smash up an expensive supercar. Not for fun...well, maybe for fun but that was unlikely. I got the gun from the police officer's holster and pulled the trigger, shooting the officer dead. I then kept hold of the pistol, firmly grasping my finger near the trigger.

Wanting to slowly squeeze the trigger...but how could I?

Joker walked up to me, removed the gun slowly from my hands and placed it on the floor gently. He held me close, rubbing his hand on my back and holding me tightly.

He looked at me, with deep and sincere affection.

"You really are the best boyfriend a girl could ask for...puddin" I slowly wrapped my arms around his body. "I thought I'd really lost you." I said, sadly looking at him.

"I'm always here for you, always" he assured me, kissing my cheek. "Always" he repeated.

I realized just how fake this 'I'm here for you, I'm always here for you' rubbish was. My temper worsened.

"No you're not! You abandoned me so many times I've lost count how many times you've abandoned me! Left me to die and left me on my own!" I shouted, pulling away from his romantic gestures. I blatantly let him know exactly how I was feeling. "Give me one good reason I should forgive you"

"Well...I did just save your life?"

"Only because you put me in danger in the first place!"

"You're a grown woman, you don't need me. You can look after yourself, you even carry a knife around with you all the time."

"Not anymore...the knife is now on the floor somewhere back at the restaurant." I shrugged.

"I always carry a spare" he smiled, getting a knife from his pocket and holding it out in his hand.

I took the knife and flicked the blade, examining it. I then sheathed the blade and tucked it inside my bra, the best place to hide a concealable weapon.

"You're too prepared, you know that" I smiled back at him.

"Come on, I got something I think you'll like." he announced, reaching into the boot of his stolen car.

I wandered over there curiously. He presented the gift in his hands. It was a baseball bat, was this my original 'goodnight' baseball bat?

"Is that my baseball bat?"

"It's a new one, custom-made from the most hard-wearing and hard-hitting material. Finished professionally with the same written decorations you had on it before, plus a few special extra ones I added. The little jester doodle, that's my personal favourite. Know why?"

"Why?"

"Because it reminds me of you" he smiled.

I took the baseball bat from his hands, it felt heavier than my other one...but it was very well crafted. I admired the details closely, rotating it around to see the full extent of the textural decorations.

"It's beautiful" I smiled at him. But then I realized that this might be a distraction to make me fall for his bullshit again. I raised my guard. "This won't make me forgive you, you'll have to do better than that"

"I'm not trying to make you forgive me, Harley. You know yourself you will always run back to me, and I know that I will always run to save you. Even if I intentionally or unintentionally try and kill you, know that I still love you."

"Don't bother sweet talking me...you're just sick, and you made me sick too."

"Sick makes it sound like there's a cure, there is no cure for insanity. You're stuck like it, and so am I. So get used to it, sugar." he said patronizingly.

"I am used to it. I finally understand why I still come running back to you. After everything you've done..."

"And why is that?"

"Because you can't survive without me. And I feel sorry for you."

"Is that so?"

"The thought of losing me made you breakdown and cry...you probably even tried to kill yourself."

"Bravo... Doctor Quinzel makes one heck of a house call, doesn't she?" he clapped his hands slowly. "There's a reason you keep coming back, and you won't figure it out because there is no more psychiatric knowledge in that brain of yours." he explained. "The _real_ reason you keep coming back to me is because you are co-dependant on me. I'm an addiction, one that you must have or you suffer from withdrawal. My emotions don't make any difference to you. And don't pretend that they do."

"What are we, some old married couple arguing? I should've known you were bad news from the moment I met you!" I yelled out.

"You did know, you knew what you signed up for...you got yourself in too deep. I did warn you that you might not like what you see or hear. But did you listen? No...no you didn't. So don't throw the blame at me, it's not my fault."

"How is it not your fault! You deliberately turned me into a psychopath just for your own personal gain!"

"And yet clearly I didn't engrave a deep enough message into your thick skull." he said, grating his teeth towards me.

"You're angry at me? You just left me on my own! And it's not even the first time!"

"And you got yourself arrested, and guess what? It's not even the first time!" he shouted, humorously twisting my words.

I swung my baseball bat at his chest until he collapsed on the floor. When he collapsed on the floor, I kicked him...I kicked him with deep searing aggression. I knelt down to his body, staring him in the eyes with anger. I grabbed him by his hair and held it firmly.

"You going to kill me?" he asked, cackling.

"That's what you want, you want me to kill you. I'd rather just leave you here to bleed."

"Just like in Blackgate huh?" his voice and laughter was painful to listen to. I think it was painful for him to laugh or even speak by now.

I released my grip on his hair. "No, in Blackgate you were an escape route." I prepared the baseball bat and raised it over my head, ready to smash it down and hurt him further. "This time, you'll just be left here to die. Bleed out until you finally just die. Then I won't have to be hurt by you anymore"

"You don't have the guts" he said spitefully.

I threw the baseball bat on the ground and decided to use my fists instead. I punched him in the face. "You made me murder innocent people!" I punched him again. "You made me commit crimes!" I punched him again. "You made me get arrested, and nearly rot in prison!" I punched him again. "You made me into a psychopath!" I punched him again, harder this time. "But the worst thing...the worst thing you did...you made me...you made me actually fall in love with you!" I punched him with increasing anger and rage. Blood was now spilling out from his mouth and was visible on his face.

"I can't help it if I'm so irresistible" he laughed painfully.

"Shut up! Just shut up!" I screamed.

"What's the matter? Are you afraid to accept who you've become?"

"Who I've become? If it wasn't for you...I'd still be working in Arkham!"

"And yet you hated it there" he smirked. "Isn't this much more fun and interesting than that corrupted shit-hole?"

"I guess...I guess it is...fuck...why...how do you always manage to get me to see things from your side?" I asked, feeling depressed and looking at his bleeding face.

"Because if it wasn't for me, you'd be dead."

Fuck...he was right, he saved my life. He saved me from Arkham. He saved me from nearly getting sent back to Belle Reve. And he saved me from...myself. I nearly killed him, and although he's nearly killed me so many times...can I really blame him for my own actions?

I can't...it's not his fault he's like this...he's exactly the same now as when I fell in love with him back at Arkham. Nothing has changed...I realize that I will always love him, he's right.

It's an addiction...and it's killing me.


	32. Grounded and Bored

_**GROUNDED AND BORED**_

 _The Joker's Perspective:_

No. It's not going to be another fucking mental breakdown so fuck off, thoughts, I'm not in the mood. I tell myself, I argue with myself. The first sign you're going crazy is talking to yourself...I started talking to myself way before I was actually branded 'insane'.

Harleen's actually doing my nut in, she's somehow turned Harley Quinn half-sane. It's almost like she's half Harleen Quinzel and half Harley Quinn. How is that even possible? Part of her wants to just kill me, part of her wants to kiss me and the other part of her just wants me to suffer. I don't know which part of her she's portraying at the moment...but I don't like it.

Harley stood up and collected herself, and her thoughts. She wiped the dirt and blood off her skin and towered over my beaten up body. I found some strength to pick myself off the ground and sit up-right. I ran my hand down the back of my neck. She gave me the 'hands-on-hips you're in so much fucking trouble' look.

I smiled up at her, cricking my neck in place and almost dislocating it from the joint. That's how high above me she felt she was.

"Can I get up now?" I asked, giving her the slight 'Joker puppy eyes' which she loves.

"No"

"Why not? I think I've done enough time in detention and learnt my lesson" I joked. The inclusion of a school reference probably angered her more.

"You've been bad, Mistah J"

"Awful, yes I know. Absolutely horrific to think I would be able to win you back after saving your life for let's see...this must be the third time at least for this week?" I said sarcastically.

"Shut up"

"You only want me to shut up because you know I'm right" I smirked.

"Shut up!" she screamed at me.

I pushed my hands onto the rough dirt and forced my body to stand up. I backhanded Harley fiercely with my bare hand. Her cheek flamed up and blushed dark red. Flecks of mud were now mixed in with the makeup on her face.

Nobody ever tells The Joker to shut up, not even Harley. Anyone who gives me an order...or attempts to...generally ends up without their tongue.

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" I asked humorously.

She put her hands on her hips and pouted her lips. She was standing there, sulking like a little spoilt child. With a 'beaten to a bloody pulp' bruise on my face, I could be mistaken to be physically and emotionally weak.

I'm going to make sure that doesn't happen. I brushed past her, touching my fingers on her arm. Walking around her slowly, looking at her top to bottom.

"What are you doing?" she asked, following her eyes to my movements.

"Nothing" I replied, continuing to pace around her.

"That's annoying, stop it"

I slapped her again. "Did you not learn the first hundred times?"

"Learn what?"

"I am the one who gives the orders, not you"

"I think I deserve more authority" she complained.

"Tough shit, kiddo" I stated. "If you want more authority, go and get the car out of that ditch"

She paused, bracing to say something rude...soon deciding that would be a bad idea. "...Fine!" she groaned, stropping off over to the grounded car.

My eyes found themselves staring towards her backside as she walked.

"Stop staring, didn't anyone tell you it's rude to stare?" Harley asked, turning around and sticking her tongue out at me rudely.

I didn't respond, but removed my glare from her ass and gazed at my knife instead. I pressed the cold metal blade against my skin. Ouch! Still sharp.

"Mistah J!" she yelled out from next to the smoking car. I trudged my feet to her position angrily. She was now covered in oil. "I'm not a mechanic ok!" she moaned.

"You've broken it..."

"I didn't break it, it was already broken!"

"Yeah, a bit like you" I muttered under my breath.

"What was that, Mistah J?"

"Nothing, nothing don't worry." I assured her. She grunted and smashed her fist onto the hood of the car. "Are you completely stupid or what? Smashing your hand against the car won't fix it"

"Worth a shot" she shrugged.

"Alright fine, how about the police car?"

"That's in a worse state, look the doors are hanging off it and everything" she pointed at the complete wreck which used to be a police car.

How fast did I ram into that thing?

"Hmm...I could always call for some transport." I got out the smartphone from my pocket. I dialled a number on my phone. "Come on...pick up!" I shouted out, with the phone pushed towards my ear.

"What is it? I'm busy" the caller answered...incredibly rudely I might add.

"Watch your tone, missy." I responded.

The caller was a mercenary of mine, and a very effective one...she's one of my most useful thugs. Yes, she. Don't act so surprised...that's incredibly sexist and you know it. She calls herself 'Empress'...though I know her as Emma, I guess that's what inspired the villain name. She'll work her way up the chain soon enough, she's _that_ good.

"I'm a little busy, you know...trying to cover my own ass without having to worry about yours?"

"Yeah...I know...wait, are those gunshots I can hear?" I asked, questioning the gunfire in the background of the call.

"Told ya I was busy. I can multi-task though, what's on your mind?"

"Oh nothing, just beaten, bruised and stuck in the middle of fucking nowhere." I said angrily.

"Say no more, on my way" Emma responded confidently.

"I didn't even say where-" the call cut off. "She hung up? Really?" I questioned her confidence.

"Who'd ya call?" Harley asked curiously.

"Mercenary, they're coming to pick us up." I said, trying to hide the fact that it was a female mercenary. Harley gets jealous really easily. "Now we just wait"

"Waiting is boring...I wanna do something" she moaned annoyingly.

"What can we do in the middle of nowhere, really? What can we do?"

"You're The Joker...you can think of something...c'mon" she said encouragingly.

"Only if you stop treating me like shit on the bottom of your shoe" I smirked.

"I'm just upset...and bored."

"Oh...I can help with that" I smiled, grabbing her by the hips flirtatiously.

"Really...you're trying that? Really?" she groaned, moving away from my playful grip.

"Don't pretend you don't want to make out on the bonnet of that police car"

"I really don't." she crossed her arms and looked at me disapprovingly.

"I'll rephrase that...we're going to make out on the bonnet of that police car" I said seriously.

"No, we're fucking not." she said adamantly.

"You wanna play hard to get, pumpkin pie?"

"Don't you fucking 'pumpkin pie' me, mister" she glared at me, making sure I kept my distance. Whoo boy...she was pissed with me.

"I think I've had a promotion from the shit on the bottom of your shoe to the guy who's allowed to look at you but has to pay for the privilege" I joked.

"Everyone has to pay to glance at my ass" she stated playfully.

"Oh girl, you're feisty...and I love it" I took hold of her body and ran my lips over her neck.

Her forceful denial of love lowered each second I played around with her. I ran my fingers through her bouncy pigtails and down her face. She smiled at me, blushing slightly.

"You're a good kisser."

"Someone has to be" I looked at her, 'Joker puppy eyes' coming into play again. "So... may your 'puddin' try some of your butter cream now?" I asked flirtatiously, winking at her.

"Maybe a little taste" she winked back at me, allowing my lips to captivate her. "How long until that mercenary gets here?"

"Does it matter?" I asked, distracted by the voluntary affection she was giving me.

"It does when you're an asshole" she said half playfully, half angrily.

"Yeah, but I'm your asshole" I smiled. I followed up my comment with a passionate kiss on her lips. "Can I tempt you to battered up police car sex now?"

"Do you have to ask?" she said, throwing my body onto the hood of the police car. Oh damn, she was going all out today.

"I love you" I whispered into her ear.

"Yeah well I fucking hate you, but I love you more" she replied, moving her hand down my chest.

"That doesn't make sense"

"You're The Joker...Since when have you ever made sense" she stated, snuggling up to me.

Do you see how easy that was? Within minutes she's throwing me onto a police car and quite happy to have sex with me. It won't go that far, we've got some dignity...who gets naked in the middle of nowhere? No thanks, not today.

It's been ten minutes since I called that mercenary...I wonder when she'll get here. Emma sounded like she was busy...well actually I heard for myself that she was busy. Meanwhile...me and Harley can enjoy some quality time together...for however long it lasts, anyway.

Don't get any stupid ideas, brain...you're not going to betray Harley again. Even for Empress...who I must admit has caught my attention in _many_ different ways. Not in _that_ way though. Granted...Im a flirt, but I'm loyal to my Harley Quinn.


	33. Don't Fight My Empress

_**DON'T FIGHT MY EMPRESS**_

 _Empress's Perspective:_

My name is Emma, you can call me Empress. Call me by my real name if I don't like you and you get a knife to your throat within seconds. Are we clear? Good. I have a habit of killing people for disagreeing with my opinions.

Which is exactly the situation I'm in now, I was just minding my own business at the bar when someone 'eyed' my body top to bottom and tried to grab some...well, about nine out of the ten guys who were approaching me for a taste are now lying on the floor crying.

"I'd love to stay and chat, but I'm late for an incredibly important business appointment" I said, smashing the bartender I was previously strangling into the black leathered and metal based bar stool. I downed a pint of beer, smashing the empty glass on his body. Make that ten out of ten guys now lying on the floor. I chucked a dollar on the counter and shoved my knife blade through it, pinning it in place. "This was fun, let's do it again sometime, yeah?" I laughed, bursting out of the door.

I dialled the clown's number on one of the phones which were randomly discarded on the counter. Joker answered.

"Why are you not here yet?" he asked angrily. Sounded like smooching in the background...gross.

"What the fuck is that noise?"

"The wind? The fuck does it matter to you? Get your ass over here."

"Don't have to tell me twice, I can only get there as fast as I can get there. Sounds like you'll be occupied for a while though."

"Empre-" he started angrily.

"Save it." I interrupted. I ended the call, tossing the phone over my shoulder.

I can't listen to that clown for long, I only agreed to be one of his mercenaries for the money. Nothing else.

Why would I break my own phone? I have a smartphone worth more than your head. If it's on a contract, maybe we'll be seeing each-other soon.

Right...so I guess you want to know what I'm wearing too? Perverts. Alright fine. I have blue eyes, long blonde curly hair, a distinguishing face which believe me you don't want to look at the wrong way. Aside from that, I find it fashionable to chuck on a jacket over the top of a grey hoodie and ripped jeans, completing the whole 'ensemble' thing with a pair of boots. Maybe some day I'll find myself a more distinct outfit. But for now, it'll have to do. I tend to have my black leather jacket done up loosely, so you can see the graphic white clown t-shirt which is ripped in places. I also find it appropriate to carry around a creepy heist mark, in the design of a clown of course...representing The Joker means clowns and jester based everything.

I carry enough knives and guns to make your life incredibly uncomfortable. Knives especially are my fun speciality, and The Joker's too. Check inside my pockets, my jacket lining...they're full of weapons. Even my leg has a holster for a gun attached to it. One of these days, clown boy Joker will realize that mercenary work is too underpaid for such a stunner like myself.

Oh, but I'm being far too modest.

The phone in my pocket vibrates. I slide it out of my trouser pocket and look at who's calling. I answer.

"What part of 'get your ass over here' did you not understand?" Joker asked.

"And what part of 'I'm on my way' did you not understand?" I replied rudely, opening the front door on the black 4x4 truck. I hoisted myself up to the height of the vehicle, slamming the door shut behind me. I turned the key to start the engine, Joker can surely hear the roaring of the engine through the comms. "Give me ten minutes, alright?"

"Fine...ten minutes, if you're late I'll-"

"You'll kill me...yeah yeah I know" I interrupted, ending the call and placing the phone on the passenger seat.

I tapped an app on the phone to open the tracking software of Joker's Infiniti G35. Right...he's in the middle of nowhere. The road which is on-route to Street Cafe Deluxe...which I assume is where he was before 'Harley' got him caught.

I slam the accelerator and proceed to his last presumed location. According to the tracking app I can see his car has crashed into the side of a police car...that would make sense. Harley got arrested, and he bolted his way there to save her. Now they're likely either killing or kissing each other.

Probably a bit of both, knowing Joker.

I arrive at the location of the stranded couple. They both look up at the truck. I open the door, stretch my legs over the side and jump down, ignoring the steps which were meant to be used to climb down 'safely'.

"Right, I think that was about eight minutes nineteen seconds, do I keep my head now?" I asked, wandering over to the romantic duo...who were lying on the bonnet of a smashed police car. I won't judge, I don't get paid to feel. "Good to see you're both still alive anyway" I smirked.

"Who's this?" Harley asked defensively. I wouldn't expect nothing less from her. "I thought you said you called for a mercenary"

"Yeah, this is Empress. Try not to kill her, sugar plum she's just here to take us back home"

"Who said I'm going home with you?" Harley asked, getting off Joker and looking at him seriously.

"Lie in the back of the truck if you don't want to be near him then" I sniggered.

"Watch ya tone with me and Mistah J, he don't like it when ya make jokes" the adorable but incredibly annoying accent returned to her voice.

"At least Empress actually came to help, unlike my other thugs who just find it funny to beat up each-other when they lose a game of poker...gambling with my money." Joker got up from the hood of the police car with one enthusiastic motion. "You know you wanna come home with me, don't lie" Joker told Harley.

Harley got up, less enthusiastically and looked at Joker. "At least we'll be able ta enjoy some time together without interruption" she commented, stretching her arms around Joker's shoulders.

I cough to get their attention. "Yes, well I would like to get out of here before someone realizes where you are...clearly this police officer got the message" I looked at the dead body of the police officer lying in the driver's seat. Joker approached my parked truck and looked over at me. "What?" I asked.

"This only has two seats" he pointed out.

"Yeah, and? You know how to drive don't you?"

"As good as when I crashed that expensive car...sure, but what about you?" he asked, half caring and half not.

"Don't you worry about me, I can just hitch a ride in the trunk, I'm used to it." I climbed into the back of the truck, it was an open cargo storage containment design rather than an actual 'boot' which you open and close. "Safety never bothered me before, why start now" I held onto the sides of the truck to ensure I didn't fall out of the back.

"Harley?" Joker asked, approaching Harley and about to tap her on the shoulder. Harley was facing her back to him, arms crossed. She was looking out over the horizon at Gotham City.

"Before I get in that truck with ya, I need ta know sum' things" Harley demanded, her back still unsociably turned.

"We'll talk later, I promise." he assured her. I could see him cross his fingers behind his back. Heh, cheeky sod. "Back at my place, yeah?" he asked.

Harley turned around to face Joker. I groaned and banged my fist on the side of the truck. They both heard it and looked towards me. "Today would be lovely you know" I said impatiently.

"No. Not back at yur place. That got us in trouble before...not again. Not again, Mistah J"

"Tough, because that's where we're going." he dragged her by the wrist and chucked her at the side of the truck. "Get in." he ordered.

Harley sighed and opened the passenger seat door, closing it behind her. Joker entered the driver's seat and slammed the door behind him. "Wait! I forgot mah baseball bat!" Harley shouted, getting out of the truck and running frantically over to her discarded weapon on the cold ground. She took hold of it and then climbed back into the truck, with a little grin on her face. "Couldn't forget such'a beautiful thin' like this, could I, puddin?" Harley asked happily.

Well, she went back to her 'puddin' quick enough, I think he's seriously damaging her health...Joker's a psychopathic sicko but he's a motivational boss I suppose. Don't know what he'd be like as a boyfriend...actually, I really don't want to know.


	34. Listen To Yourself

_**LISTEN TO YOURSELF**_

 _Harley Quinn's Perspective:_

Empress brought us back to Mistah J's apartment, then she drove off in a hurry...probably late for another contract or something I don't know. I don't know what to think of her...I really don't see as the type that my puddin would fall for, but he's a flirt and he'll likely have his eye on her ass as well as mine.

It was about 3AM, in the bedroom with my puddin who is currently keeping me awake with his unpredictable sleeping pattern. One moment he'd be awake, the next he'd be laughing out loud in his sleep or turning over and smacking me in the face with his paw-like hands. He sleeps like an animal, no wonder he acts like one.

I'm lying here wide awake with my thoughts. I've been thinking a lot recently...it's not good for me.

 _So, it's been a while. How's it feel to be lying in bed with a psycho?_

What do you care? You never cared about anything I had to say...you always make me do bad things so why should I listen to you?

 _If you didn't listen to me you'd probably be twiddling your thumbs in prison, or dead._

I'm not in the mood, leave me alone.

 _I can't do that, Quinzel...not until you admit to yourself that you're not that person anymore. No more miss psychiatrist, no more caring...just be that destructive self of yours which Mistah J loves so much._

I have, you know I have. How else would I kill, torture and manipulate so many people?

 _Was that really you? I think you're still faking. When your puddin finds out you're still acting then he won't be happy with you._

He broke my brain, my heart and my sanity into more pieces than I can count...what's to say that he'll ever think I'm still 'sane'?

 _You started talking without your accent, what's that all about?_

Sometimes I need to be serious.

 _Joker doesn't like seriousness, you should know that._

I know that I'm done arguing with my own head, just leave me alone.

 _Why would I do that? It's way more fun watching you gradually fall apart at the seams._

You won't get much entertainment from me, not anymore.

 _What are you saying?_

I'm saying I've had enough. I need answers, I will actually wake him up right now at three o clock in the morning and demand answers.

 _You might as well just jump out of the window, it'd be less punishing. That's suicide._

Yeah well, I've already died inside. Nothing he can say or do will hurt me more than it already has.

 _Ouch...I don't like this side of you, Mistah J won't either. Let's get some more positive thoughts in your head. First: Get dressed in your actual jester outfit. Not the new clothes, they're reminding you of who you were when you met him, it's toying with your brain. Second, make your face pale-white like Joker's, draw a smile on your face with paint. Third, remember that jingly fun little jester hat and domino mask you bought? Yep, throw those on too._

Who are you to tell me what to wear? I asked myself. All of this was happening inside my brain, yet Mistah J had no idea what I was going through right now. Whilst he's hogging all of the duvet and lying across nearly the whole bed: arms flailed randomly, one hanging over the bed and the other stretched over the pillow...I'm questioning my sanity, for the thousandth time today.

I don't think it's necessarily true what my brain's suggesting...It's likely I'm just tired, a little rusty to the habits of my puddin. I need to get back to that part of myself...I'm sane or insane; there is no in-between.

 _Mhm, that side of you is much more attractive to a clown psychopath. Shall we get on with it, then?_

Get on with what? Making myself into the Harley I was before my original jester outfit was confiscated by the guards at Belle Reve for being 'unpractical'? Yeah...why not I'd love to at such an early time in the morning, hey why don't I just go and knock on the door to Blackgate and ask to be taken into their care once again?

 _You've broken your puddin out of jail before, dressed as the lovable jester you know you are. You are lovable and you're adorable. Anyone who doesn't see that can just die._

That doesn't explain to me why I should do it.

 _Well, you do love your puddin...don't you?_

Yes...

 _And you want him to be happy...don't you?_

Yes...

 _And you want him to squish your cheeks together with glee when you finally kill The Batman...don't you?_

He doesn't even want to kill B-man though, he always growls at me at the mention of that idea.

 _He's always trying to kill Batman, that should be obvious to you._

True...but what can I do?

 _You could kill The Batman...imagine how happy he'd be with you. How proud he'd be._

It'd be too obvious if it was me...besides...I know Mistah J doesn't want to actually kill B-man! Not yet, maybe one day but not until he wants to.

 _Fine, then how about donning the uniform anyway and getting some real bedtime loving from Mistah J?_

No.

 _Why not? Isn't that what you want?_

It might be what _he_ wants...but it isn't what I want.

Mistah J tossed around in his sleep, pretty much kicking me out of the bed. I had the smallest part of the bed which he wasn't claiming, and I mean small. I got up from the bed and tiptoed over to the wardrobe. I slid the wardrobe door open. It creaked. I looked over at him, he was still fast asleep.

I was still wearing the dress from this evening and Mistah J was still suited up in his tuxedo. We literally entered the apartment, dragged our feet to the bedroom and collapsed onto the double bed.

I rolled my eyes and yawned silently. Why am I up at three in the morning?

 _Because you want to cause some mischief tonight, with or without Mistah J._

What kind of mischief?

 _Any kind you want, you're the clown princess of crime._

Hehehehe, let's do it! I continued the conversation with myself, finally admitting into the crimes my second-thoughts were suggesting. Having a voice in your head gets annoying...but sometimes it actually gives you some great advice, or ideas. I've learnt to live with it now...because it won't go away.

 _Damn right I'm not going to go away, you're way too much fun to take the piss out of._

See? It kicks in whenever it feels like it, which is majority of the time really...most of the time I just ignore it. My thoughts, no matter how insane or crazy they are... they all have a meaning.

I realize that my tight-fitting jester suit will make a lot of noise...inevitably waking my puddin up from his slumber. If you think he's grumpy normally...wait'll you see what he's like first thing in the morning.

I look over to him. He's sitting up on the bed.

"What are you doing at this time of night?" he asked suspiciously.

"Nothing."

"Couldn't you sleep? Hope I didn't keep you awake, I know I do some weird stuff in my sleep" he got up from the double bed, pacing his bare feet towards the wardrobe.

"No, I was already awake, lying with my thoughts...y'know, just thinking"

"About what? You know you need your sleep...you're cranky without it" he smirked. I was expecting him to be more...angry. It's early hours in the morning and I just woke him up, unless he was already awake. "Is something bothering you, Harley?"

I let out a large disappointed sigh. "It was meant to be a surprise" I explained, showing him the black and red jester outfit which also had a white floppy collar. I smirked a little. "We'll have so much fun together with me in this tight little number" I smiled, hugging the outfit in my arms.

"When did you get that?"

"I stole it sometime ago, from a costume shop. A real harlequin outfit. Don't get me wrong...I love the baseball jacket and stuff but it's not giving the real 'Harley Quinn' vibe." "They confiscated it from me at Belle Reve for being 'impractical' and I later stole it back from the confiscation cupboard." I giggled. "I was waiting for the perfect time to show you"

"Three in the morning isn't the best time..." he said, slightly irritated.

"I know, and I'm sorry...but I was just so excited to show you!"

He groaned and slumped back onto the bed, grasping the duvet in his arms firmly. "That's great, but you'll wait until the morning. Don't wake me again"

He was clearly annoyed, but not as grumpy as I was expecting him to be. Maybe he's right, maybe I shouldn't wear this jester outfit yet...I should save it until we really start using our villainy to the full extent.

What we've been doing...that's nothing compared to what we are capable of doing. Sleep tight, Gotham...for tomorrow you shall realize your mistake of shunning us from the world.

Tomorrow...our _true_ reign of terror begins.


	35. Rise And Shine

_**RISE AND SHINE**_

I pounced on Mistah J, dressed in my full jester outfit...domino mask, fun jingly hat, white face-paint and dark makeup.

"Morning puddin!" I shouted excitedly.

A large groan filled the room, he swiped me off the bed. With a thud, my bottom hit the floor. I got straight back up and began bouncing on the bed with happiness.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Go back to sleep!"

"It's seven in the morning, puddin! We have a big day ahead of us!"

He shuffled his body further up the bed, leaning against the head-board and pillow. "...We?"

"Mhm! Today we'll finally get revenge on Gotham and B-man!" I announced.

"Why...would you have a plan for something as big as that?" he asked mid-yawn.

"I read your plans, the ones you left on the table! It's all perfect, I did exactly as you described! Look!" I threw the large blueprint on the bed and unfolded it. The blueprint covered most of the bed once unfolded.

"You stupid girl, that isn't even finished!" he yelled, grabbing the blueprint and throwing it on the floor. "If you want to plan to kill someone, don't! I do the planning, you just mess everything up!" Grumpy Mistah J makes an appearance. "And another thing" he scowled at me. "Don't wake me up in the middle of the night or early in the morning!"

"Why not?" I asked playfully.

"Because I might be half asleep, imagine you're Batman and kill you." he smirked evilly.

"How likely is that?"

"Pretty damn likely... if I'm trying to sleep that means leave me alone."

"That's no fun!" I shoved him off the bed. "I want some fun! You want some fun too!" I leant over him. "Morning puddin! We're gonna have some fun today. Don't even think about being mad at me, today I'm playing Mistah J and you're Harley Quinn!" I giggled at the end of the dictatorship I just gave him.

If his face was any angrier I think he'd be mistaken for a cooked tomato. Hehehehe I'm in such a great mood this morning. His piercing green eyes stared up at me, causing his teeth to bare themselves. I might as well not bother telling him to not be mad at me, I think that makes him more mad.

"Harley..." he started, trying to resist pounding me into the ground and screaming into my ears. "That's an amazing idea" he agreed, smiling and getting up from the floor.

"You're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad?" he paced around the room, rubbing his fingers on his chin. "Oh...maybe because you woke me up when I told you not to!" he shouted. "For, let's see this must've been the third or fourth time?"

"Ordinarily, I'd respect you trying to get some sleep Mistah J...but this is too important!"

"Is it my plans which are unfinished again...?"

"No..."

"Then...by all means... _do_ tell!" he said sarcastically.

"We kill B-man!" I announced excitedly.

"...You've said some stupid shit...but this is just ridiculous. Oh!" he paused. "This is a joke? That's actually a really good one! You'd make a good Mistah J!" he laughed incredibly loudly.

"I was being serious, puddin"

"Oh no, _you're_ the puddin today, puddin" he twisted my words...maybe this whole 'role switch' thing wasn't such a good idea.

"Right...you're playing that game with me...I understand, it was stupid of me to think this would work" I said hopelessly.

"You're Mistah J, you make that decision, puddin!" he stated playfully.

"Alright...enough of this role reverse shit, I don't want to be the plan-maker" I moaned.

"Oh! But _puddin,_ you said you wanted more authority!"

"Whatever, just slap me and get on with the rest of your day" I turned around and braced myself to be hit by his hand, or whatever object was in the room. But there was no violent touch from Mistah J. My eyes were covered by a set of fingers, I was unable to see who it was. "Mistah J?" I asked nervously.

"Nope, not anymore" the voice answered. I tried to scream but one of the hands moved over my mouth and the other grabbed me by the neck. "Christ, Joker really went all out on you, didn't he?" My interrogator presented their face to me, still pinning their hands on my person. "Surprise! I bet your 'puddin' never pulled off something as extreme as this, did he?"

I couldn't believe my eyes, I hoped for my sake that they were lying to me. I blinked. My eyes were not lying to me. It was Empress. Unbelievably...she managed to sneak into the apartment, distract or perhaps even killed my puddin...or maybe had him kidnapped by her other thugs or something...I don't know! Shit...shit!

I was really panicking at this point. Terror was clearly shown in my eyes. I bet she feeds on other people's suffering. I tried to muffle under her gloved hand.

"Harley Quinn...the one true girlfriend to The Joker, what would he offer me for your safety I wonder...?" she asked sinisterly, lifting me up by the head and pulling on one of the ends of my jingly jester hat. She pulled it off my head. "Under all of that makeup and jester crap you're just a pathetic little girl, crying for some attention" she got a knife out from her pocket. "But you won't be getting anymore attention. When I kill you, you'll finally understand what it feels like to be under appreciated..." she clenched her fingers around my jaw, making me perch my lips. "Don't worry, Mistah J is safe and sound... on his way to hell" she said spitefully. I tried to move my mouth, she removed her fingers from my jaw to at least allow me to speak one or two words.

"You bitch! Where's Mistah J!" I asked angrily.

"No wonder he fell for your bullshit, you're so pathetic you're cute" she pounded her lips against mine and closed her eyes, embracing me forcefully. Empress was playing with my emotions further than Mistah J even would. I pushed away from her kiss, wiping my mouth of that disgusting black lipstick she just wiped all over my face. "What's the matter? I thought you liked attention?" she asked, slapping me violently. "As we speak, we're currently making life for your 'puddin' very difficult. Me? Well...I'm here on more...personal matters" she explained, moving the knife around in her fingers and staring down at the blade, and then directing her attention back to me.

"Where is he? And what tha hell are you talkin' about!" I yelled, throwing several objects at her...including a table lamp, a pack of cards and a coin.

They all missed, she effortlessly dodged them. Either that or I was terrible at throwing.

"Where's the fun in that?" she asked ironically. It was ironic because that sounds like something Mistah J would say.

"Stop pretending to be Mistah J! You'll never be better than him... you mean mercenary lady!"

"I'm not sure about you, but when your clown partner in crime teamed up with my cousin I didn't think that was a bad thing..." she paused, throwing the knife angrily. It hit the wall, just inches away from hitting me directly in the head. She fought against any strength I had and pinned me up against the wall, picking the blade out of the fresh hole in the stud-work. "But you just couldn't help yourself, could you?" she put the knife towards my throat. "You just had to finish it, you couldn't leave him breathing...no, that'd mean competition for The Joker. And we both know that wouldn't end well for you." she looked at me seriously. "I bet Jerome is enjoying teaching Joker a lesson. I'm here to return the favour."

I looked at her blankly, with slight horror.

"That's...That's impossible" I muttered.

"Nothing is impossible, my poor naïve little Harley Quinn...maybe you'll learn that soon enough." she wanted to slit my throat...but she decided it'd be more entertaining to keep me alive. She's _too_ much like Joker...it's fucking creepy. She reached into her leather jacket and pulled out a loaded revolver from the holster around her waist. She released her grip, throwing the knife on the ground but held the gun in my face instead. "Now you're in my funhouse, and the rules have changed" she laughed. Basically imagine Mistah J's laugh, and then add about one hundred percent more creepiness to it. "Maybe Joker will emerge out of this little _therapy_ session and finally have the balls to put a bullet in your head. Would I? I could...but you're too useful" she smirked.

"Why are you really here?" I asked bluntly.

"Oooh! Getting to the point, I like it! Hell, I might even go lesbian for you." she winked. Empress leaned in and licked my cheek flirtatiously. My face was cringing at her attempted affection. "You don't believe I'm here to kill you because you murdered my cousin?" she adjusted her finger nearer to the trigger. "Well...in a way you're right...because I want you alive. I want you to see the look on his face when I finally put my blade into his skin and rip him apart. Then that bond between the both of you will be broken."

"And then what will happen ta me?" I asked nervously.

As much as I wanted to scream at Empress, try and kill her and everything else...well, I can't because she's literally holding a gun just centimetres away from my face. And her finger is positioned firmly on the trigger.

"You'll either be dead or in a relationship with yours truly. Then we'll see how much you like abusive relationships. If you thought Joker's love was painful...then welcome to your living nightmare" she smiled maniacally. "I am your living nightmare. Jerome is your living hell"

"I'd sooner put a bullet in mah own brain then become yur girlfriend!" I shouted, putting my hands on the gun and pointing it closer to my head. "I'm not scared of a gun! I've had enough'a them pointed at mah head than I can count!"

"No, you're not scared of dying." she paused, seemingly analysing my emotional state. "You're scared of losing Joker, you're scared of losing your sanity. Although Joker supposedly 'changed' you into Harley Quinn...I can see within five minutes that Doctor Harleen Quinzel is still inside of you, and you're scared to admit it." she could see my emotions, she could read my fears from giving her nothing than what she wanted...pure terror. "I can see your fears, and unlike Scarecrow's fear gas... this isn't a hallucination." she stroked my head, running her gloved fingers through the strands of my hair. "I prefer you without that ugly jester hat, you're much more simple...a lot easier to understand." she smirked, removing the domino mask from my eyes. "Why hide your true self behind a mask? Masks are made to be worn to keep others from suspecting who we really are. I know everything about you, Harley Quinn. I know more than your 'puddin' ever will."

"Prove it" I said.

"The fact that your legs are trembling, and that you haven't grabbed this gun and shot me in the face yet... proves enough. I know you're easily capable of killing me, and yet you're forcing yourself against it. It's almost like that minuscule percentage of sanity is speaking up and proving all my theories to be correct."

"Theories?" I asked curiously.

"You don't love The Joker"

Those words...the fact she even had the audacity to say such a thing to me was enough to make me want to kill her. My nose crinkled, my eyes pierced into her arrogance.

"Fuck...you" I looked directly at her, showing my seething frustration.

She kept the gun pointed at my face and got out her smartphone from her pocket. She was calling someone, I wasn't sure who it was. I couldn't hear the person on the other side, but I could only assume it was something to do with Mistah J.

"Mhm, yep. Oh, she's just peachy." she giggled. What's that? Yeah sure, I bet she wants to talk." she pressed a button to make the call go on speaker. She offered the phone close to my mouth.

"Harley?" he asked. Mistah J! It was his voice, but he sounded in pain.

"Puddin!" I shouted sadly.

"Harley...listen, I'm in a pretty shit situation here...Jerome's alive...I have no fucking idea how but he's alive...and he's watching me right now." he explained. "Batman's now on his way to help, I know it was stupid but I haven't got many minutes left, he'll burst through here any moment...I hope you're alright, my beautiful girl." his voice turned more like a whisper...but Empress heard all of it. I heard his head get slammed into the table and then the thug resumed control of the phone, Empress took the call off speaker.

"Yeah, she's fucking mental...no of course she won't do anything, she's a broken down mess. By the way, Joker called Batman...be prepared for a fight. No matter what...that clown does not get out of there alive...got it?" she ordered, ending the call and shoving the phone back in her pocket.

"You won't get away with this." I stated.

"I already have" she smirked. "When The Batman follows my carefully planned trail of crime, he'll fall right into my trap. I have a whole team of professional female assassins waiting for his arrival." she smiled at me. "Don't worry, Joker's death will be really slow and painful...just like yours!" she explained, grabbing me from behind and pointing the gun at the side of my head.


	36. Ritual Law

_**RITUAL LAW**_

"Come here, come closer" I requested flirtatiously. Empress let down her guard and leaned in for a smooch with me. I drove my knee into her chest and wrestled the gun from her hands, pointing it at her. "Hands up! Tell me one good reason I shouldn't shoot ya!"

She raised her hands in the air. "You love me" she tried to make the insane false claim that I would even consider falling in love with her. That's the last thing I'm feeling for this bitch.

"I will never...EVER...love you!" I screamed, putting my finger on the trigger but not squeezing it. Not yet.

"Funny...you said the same thing about The Joker...or words to that effect anyway."

"Enough with tha crap talkin! I want answers! Who sent you?"

"Nobody sent me, why would someone send me to kill you and Joker? It wasn't exactly difficult to find you, I had your car tracked and then when I brought you back to this apartment...I had enough to work with"

"I'll ask again. WHO...SENT...YOU?" I raised my voice and pressed the tip of the gun on her forehead.

"Deaf and stupid? I'll make a note of that on your chest. In blood." she smirked at me.

"You have no idea how close ya are to dyin' and yet you don't seem ta care? You're like a more sick and twisted female version of Mistah J!"

"Working with a clown, surrounded by clowns whilst getting paid to protect a clown...yeah I got a few similarities embedded into my skull from that"

"What's your real name? Not this 'Empress' villain shit, Mistah J knows your real name...so what is it?"

"Oh... If I told you that I'd have to kill you"

"I'm not in tha mood fur ya games!"

"Goodness me, that accent is really annoying. Have you always sounded like a broken toddler who got high on helium?"

I scowled at her. "You betta watch ya tone with me or I'll jus' kill ya right now!"

"It'd be better than listening to your whining"

"No more games! Tell me where Mistah J is! Now!" I demanded angrily.

"Why would I do that?" I lowered the gun and shot Empress in the leg. "ARGH! YOU ACTUALLY DID IT HAHAHA!" she yelled out in agony, falling to the ground and grasping her leg. I delved into her trouser pocket and grabbed her phone. I dialled the number of the person who was last contacted by Empress.

The phone rang. I had to try really hard to sound like Empress, my adorable accent couldn't become obvious throughout the conversation.

"Yes, Empress?" one of the thugs answered.

Why was the thug calling her name as if it was law? Did she create some sort of ritual to make them obey her like a god?

"Let the clown go, and do me a favour and let Batman kill your sorry asses when he gets there." the urge to say B-man or use my ordinary fun tone was unbearable...hopefully this would be over soon.

"But...why?"

"Do I have to remind you what happens to the poor little thugs who misbehave?"

"No, Empress. Sorry...I'll tell Jerome right away...forgive me, Empress"

"Don't grovel, just pass me over to Jerome. Take a gun and shoot yourself in the head, I want to hear it."

I heard a gunshot. Holy shit...he actually just shot himself in the head because I told him to? That's some commitment to Empress...she has them wrapped around her regal little fingers like lapdogs...and they won't disagree with anything she does.

"Jerome here. What's up?" I was passed over to Jerome. He would recognize my ordinary voice for sure...I had to be extremely careful.

"Change of plan, let the clown go" I ordered.

"Harley Quinn... Joker was really looking forward to seeing you die, weren't you? I must admit, you did a pretty good job at pretending to be Empress, you managed to get someone to kill themselves...but she has a very strong British accent, that's something you'll never be able to mimic" Jerome spoke suspiciously. He recognized my voice...shit. "Another thing, Empress would never change her plan or order someone to be set free. She would order them to be killed or keep them there until they died by her hand, or by mine" he explained.

"HARLEY! IT'S A TRAP! SHE-" Mistah J tried to shout from in the room, I could only briefly hear him before I heard him get beaten and gagged.

"Oh, he is such a funny guy. So where's Empress? Did you kill her already? Or did you just drive a knife into her stomach...a bit like you did with me?" he asked. If he was in this room, I could imagine I'd be dead by now. "And the Bat is here, right on schedule. I doubt you want to miss the moment your beloved hero fails your boyfriend...but your 'puddin' has front row seats!"

"Mistah J will stop you, Batman will stop you, Empress will stop you" I threatened.

"You're calling yourself the fucking empress now?" he asked, slightly laughing at my proposed plan.

"No, but I'm known to be very persuasive" I looked over at Empress, she was clasping her leg and looking at me with anguish.

"You manipulating Empress is about as likely as Joker here still having a head in the next hour...very unlikely."

"If ya touch a hair on his head... I swear I will come down there mahself and cut yur sassy tongue straight outta your mouth!" the adorable accent returned with the threat. There was no point in imitating Empress anymore.

"I've done a bit more than that to your poor 'puddin' already. Right, J?" I couldn't hear Mistah J...but I knew he was in trouble. "Ah, he's normally a talker...I guess he doesn't want to be sociable today."

"I swear...I will-" I started angrily.

"Mhm, sure... but listen sweetie, I got things to do, I'll catch you later on the other side of my blade, alright? Stay as adorable and predictable as ever, I'll miss that cute little accent of yours when you're dead." Jerome ended the call.

I threw the phone on the bed.

I saw Empress trying to struggle, I took this moment of her agony to try and get some sympathy from her. Inside all of us...there's innocence. Even a tiny bit of sanity. I was a psychiatrist after all, I know this...I experienced it first hand.

"You managed to kill someone over the phone? Heh...maybe you'd make a good Empress" she said, braving the pain.

"I will never be like you. Ya jus' kill people for power."

"I kill for fun, just like you" she smirked.

"We're not tha same, so don't ya even think fer one second that we are!"

"You and I are more alike than you think" she winked, getting up from the ground and struggling on her bullet-filled leg. "But bullets and pain bare no burden on my shoulders. If you get slapped on the cheek...then, well, that's it...you've broken down into tears on the floor and just end up crying to yourself for the next thirty minutes"

"That's not true, you just talk a load'a crap!"

"At least I actually sound sexy, nobody would ever love you. Joker is just using you for his own personal gain."

"Don't ya think I don't know that? I don't care! He's my puddin! An' I love him" I replied defensively.

"Sure, but deep down it's killing you" she stated confidently.

"Everythin's killin' me, I'm the one who always gets on the receiving end of all of the shit, guns, knives, anything sharp or remotely dangerous gets shoved in mah face for fun."

"And why do you think that is?"

"Because they think I'm weak..."

"No, well...yes but also because they're using you to get at Joker...he cares about you. Or at least he pretends to."

"That almost sounded like an apology"

"Maybe it was, but you'll have to come here to find out" she said flirtatiously.

Was the key to her heart...the key to saving Mistah J? Ugh...fine! But I won't let her manipulate me like Mistah J does. She will _never_ replace him.

"Before that, call your partner and tell him to release Mistah J." I picked up the phone from the bed and handed it over to her. She held it in her hands. "Do it" I said, pointing the gun at her.

She dialled the number, I was watching her closely, finger poised firmly on the trigger just in case she tried something.

"That's hardly a nice way to speak to your cousin, is it? Yes, I know...Harley? That bitch is lying dead on the bed, her blood is actually staining the white bedsheets. Yes I know but the plan's changed. Joker can be released now, just chuck him in the van and bring him back over here. Yes I know what I said but I changed my mind. Don't argue with me, dearie...you know being a blood-relative with me doesn't stop me from killing you. Yes...alright, fine...good...just kill Batman and let me worry about Joker. Fine, talk to you soon...Yes, I love you too." she ended the call.

"What did he say?" I asked.

"Joker's on his way back here as we speak, you're welcome. Now you owe me some of your sugar."

"I'm bitter-sweet" I tried to get out of this situation...but she's a huge flirt.

"Doesn't matter to me" she replied, gripping me by the waist with her hands.

Fuck...take one for Mistah J being still alive...but give one to Empress for attempting to have sex with me. And I am not into having sex with anyone, not even Mistah J. He understands that, even if he's a forceful asshole he at least respects my boundaries.


	37. That's Cheating

_**THAT'S CHEATING**_

 _The Joker's Perspective:_

So... whilst Harley has been having a tizzy with Empress...I've been kidnapped from my own home, taken to a warehouse, beaten with a crowbar, met someone who should've been dead but is somehow miraculously alive, been pounded by several thugs, had my jokes blatantly ignored rudely by said thugs, shoved back in a van and finally now arrived back at my front door. All caught up? Good. Now... let's see if Harley's still alive.

I opened the apartment door, closing it behind me. I strolled into the bedroom...what I saw...I can only describe as a boyfriend's worst nightmare.

Harley looked up at me with horror and embarrassment.

"Puddin! I...I can explain, this isn't what it looks like!" she tried to defend what my eyes clearly saw. She was lying on the bed...kissing Empress. That's what I saw. "You have to believe me...please!" she begged for me to believe her.

I picked up the revolver which was laying on the duvet next to them.

"I can forgive a lot of things you do, Harley. But this...this is inexcusable!" I pointed the gun at both of them. "Now I have to consider which one of you I should actually kill" I wasn't sure whether to be angry or sad. Or to just kill them both. Harley got up from the bed and tried to make me calm down. "After the 'fun' time I just had at a warehouse with Jerome...I didn't expect to come home and find you having sex with his cousin. Even worse is the fact that she tried to kill not just you, but me as well!" I was shrugging her adorableness off and just ignoring it. "It's almost as if you're trying to make me go even more insane than I already am."

"Don't be mad at Harley, I forced her into this." Empress bravely explained.

"And you...my most trustworthy mercenary...you've been working with me, protecting my ass for years and now I find you making out with my girl?" I adjusted the aim of the gun over to Empress. She was the one who was most deserving of a bullet at this point. "There's a line I cross, Emma...and you crossed it, and yet I shrugged it off. But I won't be making the same mistake twice." I braced my finger to pull the trigger, Empress got off the bed slowly...putting her hands up and calmly trying to change my mind.

I kept the gun firmly locked on her as she moved. I did let Harley come behind the aim of the gun though, she was innocent enough to live.

"You have every right to put a bullet through my head right now...but please let me explain myself." she pleaded.

"The gun remains pointed at you, you go no where near Harley. And you stay fucking still. That's the deal" I explained seriously.

"Very well, I respect your orders..." Empress swallowed nervously. "My cousin...Jerome, he wasn't dead when I found him. I managed to get him some help, phoned an ambulance and they took him to hospital. Whilst we were there...the doctor said he wouldn't make it. He said the only way was with a risk...injecting him with five millilitres of XOS chemical formula. That's over double the recommended amount, but he was dying anyway." "When he awoke from the operation...his eyes lit up bright blue, and he got straight up. He felt no pain, no tiredness, he was himself but...something was wrong. He ended up killing the doctor, the nurse and then found himself kneeling before me. Insisting I was his 'Empress' and that I must command him...that I must command everyone, and if I didn't then he would kill himself. The only thing that was clear in his mind is that Harley Quinn and Joker were the ones responsible for his death...so he went on a path of revenge and insisted I planned the entire thing. I made it all up, there was no ambush for Batman, and now Jerome is probably already dead or locked up in prison." she paused.

"Why are you telling us this?" Harley asked suspiciously.

"Because this isn't who I am. I want to stop this, I didn't want to hurt Harley...but the thought of losing my only surviving family...I couldn't help myself, my thoughts and inhibitions took over and for a brief moment I nearly ended up dead. Harley, she shot me in the leg, not the head. I feel no pain, I feel no power. Jerome won't argue against me because he only has thoughts of me doing terrible things. Terrible things that I would never consider doing...terrible things that don't deserve to be mentioned. And yet I did them, I did them to save his life. I corrupted myself to fit the role of his 'Empress' and soon became associated with the underlying fact: That I was a cold-hearted, ruthless serial killer who killed for pleasure and the suffering of others. That is not true, it will never be true. What I've done...it's always going to play on my mind. I got into this business for a reason: To kill bad people and get a large pay-check at the end of it...why would I take another life if their head is not on a contract? Why take another life for the sake of another's pleasure? I know that's the same type of relationship you two share...and I would never take that away from you. You're perfect together. You both love each-other."

She looked at us both with admiration. I wasn't sure what I just heard, or how much of that lecture I actually paid attention to...but part of me believed her.

"You tried to break us up!" Harley shouted, ignoring Emma's plea for forgiveness.

"Have you ever wondered what it feels like to pretend to be someone you're not for so many years that you just get used to it? And then when you find yourself face to face with your cousin's killer you just sort of...let that part of you take over? I was angry, I was scared! I don't know...I'm a huge flirt, and my parents never approved of it." she explained sadly.

"Don't include me with yur sexual flirting! I aint interested!" Harley made that explicitly clear.

"I understand, but whatever you choose to do with me...Jerome will still be alive. He'll still be a threat to you and to Harley."

"I can handle that, he's no bother...you're just too much of a hassle to keep in this business. I'm letting you go" I prepared myself to pull the trigger, but Empress issued one more sentence to try and get me to reconsider.

"I will kill my own cousin and spend the rest of my life in Arkham." Empress admitted.

"Why would ya do that? You really are crazy aren't ya?" Harley asked. "Besides, Arkham aint even been rebuilt yet!"

"I will gladly face the punishment of my crimes in Blackgate until it's rebuilt and I get transferred there for being criminally insane." Emma explained.

"Why would you kill your last living relative? After you did so much for him...so much to yourself?" I asked.

"He turned me into this monster, and with him dead maybe I'll finally have peace of mind and time to myself. Jerome won't stop until you're both dead...I think you underestimate him and his power. The XOS is still in his system, and I don't know how much of it he has stashed away. I'll find it, destroy it and kill Jerome. He won't ever suspect it. He's forcing himself to bow before my hand...and I won't allow him to commit acts of murder and mutilation to try and impress me. Not anymore, it's gotten to the stage where it's more merciful to kill him than let him turn crazier than he already is."

"You want me to let you run free? This is just screaming 'trap'." I said.

"You have no reason to believe me...but you're The Joker, you're not powerless to an attempted threat on your life. Harley, you're a strong, beautiful woman...you love Joker and he loves you. Even if he won't admit it, he does." Empress winked at me.

She was somewhat right, but our relationship is complicated. It'll always be complicated, but Harley knows that...and she doesn't mind.

"Here, I'll prove it, pass me the phone...on the bed. I'll call him and end this right now" Empress directed her eyes onto the phone. I picked it up and handed it to her, still pointing the gun at her.

She dialled a number on the phone.

"Hi, yeah I'm fine...listen. I have to talk to you. No... Don't be stupid, Joker is back here...yeah of course I killed him. Where's his body? On the bed next to Harley's of course! They're a couple...they should stay together even in death. But enough about that, they're dead...and as your Empress...I...I command you to get a knife and slit your own throat...You dare argue against your Empress? Well that's what I'm ordering you to do, sweetie so you have no choice but to do it. You don't have a knife? Ugh...fine then just use a gun. There is no reason I want you dead...no of course not...I love you of course I love you, dear cousin but there's a time and a place for your affection and now is not that time. Yes...yes of course I want you to do it on the phone, how else would I know that you've done it? What? No...for god sake man just get on with it! I will come down there and kill you myself...if you don't shoot yourself in the head on this phone within the next sixty seconds. I mean it, pick up the gun from the table, pull back the trigger and put a bullet into your head. There's nobody telling me to say this...you'll thank me...please, cousin it's the merciful thing to do. You know it's the right thing, this stuff is killing you...no, fuck no! I'm not a lesbian, why would you even think that? Right...you're really pissing me off now...put a bullet...through your fucking skull right now...I love you too..." Empress put the phone on speaker just at the end of the conversation.

"This is for you, my Empress" Jerome gave into Empress' order, there was a gunshot. I heard the gunfire clearly through the speaker of the phone. He really did just kill himself...I didn't know what to think but that...that was actually making my hairs stand on edge.

Empress finished the phone conversation, dropping the phone to the floor and crying devastatingly into the palms of her hands.

"Thank you, dear cousin for granting my wish." Empress said gratefully.

"You...you really did it" Harley commented, in shock of what had just happened.

"Now you know I meant it, I hope that's enough for you to let me live the rest of my life in peace." Empress requested.

I lowered the gun. I wandered over to Empress. I touched her cheek softly, wiping away her tears.

"I've never seen anything so brave. So incredibly selfless and heart-warming. You're a beautiful, brave and clever young woman. I wish you the best of luck in life. If you end up in Blackgate, Arkham or stay on your own...know that you're always going to be deemed a hero after what you just did. I don't much like heroes...but you're an exception." I smiled at her forgivingly.

Empress smiled at me, putting her arms around me for a quick 'goodbye' hug and then did the same to Harley. Harley kissed her on the cheek and hugged her with a slight squeeze. Empress then opened the apartment door and closed it behind her.

"I hope you're not jealous?" Harley asked playfully.

"I'm not, but I can't properly understand what just happened...if I'm honest she was too open about the whole thing." I mentioned, distracted by the thoughts which were currently whizzing around in my brain.

"Well you were threatening her with a gun, Mistah J" she winked, taking the gun from my hands and putting it on the bed. "Remember when I said I wanted to have more authority?" she asked me.

"Yes, I remember it well, puddin" I said flirtatiously.

"Well, I'm just fine with being your little Harley Quinn. And we don't need to do anything to change that." she smiled at me.

I smiled back at her.

"Good girl." I said, patting her on the head gently.

I think I need to lie down after that. What just happened...that's too much excitement to handle in one day...even for me. I mean I've heard of accepting your fate and who you are...but inside, Empress is just scared of accepting who she is. I hope she does, she'll make a formidable ally. But at the same time, I think she'll break in prison or an asylum. I guess we'll see.


	38. Five Years Later

**_FIVE YEARS LATER_**

 _Empress's Perspective_ :

It's been five years now since I admitted my crimes. I was transferred from Blackgate to the newly rebuilt Arkham Asylum just over a month ago. I suspect Joker and Harley have been captured and placed in Arkham too, but they're crafty and dangerous... if they were captured or arrested then they definitely would've put up a fight.

I was sitting at a table in a quiet room, filled with books and an open window. This was the new Arkham Asylum, it felt more like an asylum than a prison now. I was waiting for my psychiatrist to enter the room with me. Doctor April Harding was one of the new members of staff in Arkham...and she was assigned to work to fix the criminally insane. She was a professional in her field of work, one of the best therapists working at Arkham Asylum.

The new owner of Arkham Asylum was Lawrence Saunders, a nice well dressed and understanding man who didn't force treatment on any of us. It was definitely a much more relaxed atmosphere in here than it was in Blackgate.

Doctor Harding entered the room with me, she took a seat on the chair at the opposite end of the table I was sitting at.

"Good afternoon" I greeted her with a smile.

"Afternoon, Emma...I'm afraid I have some rather troublesome news." she paused, putting her hands together on the table to maintain the level of professionalism as usual. "This is the last session you'll have with me. Lawrence Saunders has decided to change around the psychiatrists in hope to truly help the criminally insane. I hope you understand" April explained.

"No! I don't want to speak with any of the other psychiatrists...I feel comfortable talking to you, please...there must be something you can do?"

"I'm afraid not, I wish that were the case. But let's make the most of the last session we have together."

I covered my wrist over with my shirt sleeve, hiding the slits in my wrist which were from my childhood.

"I used to make a mark on my wrists for every victim who died because of my cruel words, or by my blade...wielded by my hand." I felt I had to explain my entire stage of progressing insanity. It was my only hope to if I wanted to get better.

"May I see?" she requested.

"I….I guess" I rolled up my sleeve nervously and lay my arm on the table. She looked at my wrist with concern and sympathy. "I regret everything I've done...I didn't mean to do any of it."

"I understand, you were just scared...that's all. Now, how comfortable do you feel to talk about your past? I won't force you to answer anything you don't want to answer...but please allow me to help you."

"I...I don't know, my life flashes before my eyes when I go to sleep every night...it's like a living nightmare I'm in..." I pushed my fingers onto my head and started pressing on my skull anxiously.

"Easy, It's alright...you're OK. Tell me about the nightmares." she put her hand out on the table reassuringly.

I calmed down and put my wrists in-between my thighs. I sighed, preparing to open out my heart and soul to this woman.

"I remember seeing my cousin, Jerome...and we used to see each-other every day, and we used to get on really well together...until" I paused.

"What happened?"

"Jerome's parents passed away on his tenth birthday...when I went round to his house...I saw that he...was on the floor crying his eyes out. I tried to give him a hug but he pushed me away, insisting I left him alone...I tried to force him away from in front of their bodies but he ended up doing this..." I showed her the large scar on my hand. "He was just scared, he didn't mean to do it! But ever since that day...he refused to live with the guilt, and tried to commit suicide before he was caught in an attempt to jump out of the bedroom window. He was taken away and put in an asylum, I don't think it was Arkham...but I didn't see him until his eighteenth birthday when he was released and he returned home." I looked into the psychiatrists eyes with dread.

"They released him? If it was Arkham, he would've received a certificate of deemed sanity, if not then it must've been Blackgate, Belle Reve or another prison or asylum I've never heard of before. Please, continue."

"By then...he didn't recognize me...he didn't know I was there, seeing him turn into this monster. He saw me as this 'Empress' and insisted I controlled the lives of everyone...'all mortals must suffer' he kept repeating. I once caught him trying to slice his own neck open with a table knife...he threatened that it was because of me which was leading him to do this. I realized that he would 'sacrifice' himself to save me...as a sort of ritual I guess? It was some really messed up brainwashing or voice in his head...I really don't know how he managed to get himself in such a state...but he did. Jerome never showed this side of himself, only when I was around. That's why he was never caught again, not until I found him dying at his brother's private auction building...I saved his life by bringing him to hospital. But he was dying, a chemical known as XOS – formulated by his family would be the only way of curing him...but it had to be an unstable dosage to try and battle whatever he was going through."

"Oh my...you've really been through a lot. But did it work?" she asked, she gave me sympathy but also found herself intrigued in my back-story.

"It succeeded, yet I knew he wasn't Jerome anymore...his eyes were glowing a bright blue, and he killed all of the staff in the room. He proceeded to kneel before me and only this time...he was forcibly killing others for my pleasure" I sighed emotionally. "Five years ago, I called him on the phone and finally requested him to end his life. It was the most agonizing thing I've ever had to do, but it was more merciful than letting him live any longer as the blood-spilling maniac that he was."

"How can you be sure that he actually killed himself? Pardon my ignorance, but there's no evidence that he did."

"I heard the gunshot myself...so yeah, I'm pretty fucking sure...sorry, I'm just upset.

"No need to apologize. It's quite alright to feel like this, Emma. What you've just explained is horrible, and I'm sorry you've had to go through it" she assured me. I guess I could have felt worse, if she wasn't as understanding as she is. "Jerome may have faked that gunshot though, a gunshot doesn't mean he shot himself in the head."

"Then he would go against what I ordered him to do...and he's so obsessed with my words that the very thought of him not obeying is unfathomable."

"But not impossible" she stated. She wrote several notes on the piece of paper attached to the clipboard on the table.

I couldn't read what she was writing, but in a generalized statement it was probably something like 'she's just fucking insane' which is fair enough. Because I guess I am insane. I've been driven to the breaking point all my life...and now maybe finally it's clicked.

"Have you heard enough to make your boss happy?" I groaned.

"The information you've told me will be helpful. Has it made you feel any better by discussing it with me?" she asked.

"No, it hasn't made me feel better." I said bitterly.

"Sorry to hear that, but give it some time...we'll help you through this" she smiled at me politely.

"I appreciate you taking the time to talk to me, Doctor Harding. But I'm not going to talk to anyone else. I'll refuse" I smiled maniacally towards her.

You know when you have that really strong bond with someone...and you know that they understand you? Yeah, me and Doctor Harding have that kind of relationship forming.

"I can't promise anything, but I will try." she left the room.

I was still at the table, twiddling my thumbs and looking around the room. I got up from the chair and put my ear towards the door. I could overhear a conversation between Harding and Saunders outside of the room.


	39. Feels Like Deja vu

_**FEELS LIKE DEJA VU**_

 _Doctor April Harding's Perspective:_

My involvement with the inmates of Arkham Asylum should be respected, I take time out of my daily life to sit down and chat with the most dangerous of criminals. Lawrence Saunders, my boss...was never understanding of my motivation to work so hard to free a mind from corruption. I guess he'll never understand, but I've spoken with enough broken souls to know that there's hope for anyone to get better.

I have a grey tint to my ordinarily hazel coloured eyes, black hair which doesn't quite touch my shoulders and like all the other staff at Arkham Asylum, I wear a white professional medical coat on-top of a red undershirt and black trousers.

"You don't understand, Lawrence! She's broken down in tears and she's telling me everything. She's comfortable with talking to me...and we're making progress that I never see with any of our other inmates. I tried to make Lawrence see things not just from my view...but from the view of the criminally insane as well.

"She'll be manipulating you into believing her twisted little story. Do you want the same thing that happened to Doctor Harleen Quinzel to happen to you as well, April?" Lawrence asked. "It's for their own safety that we transfer different inmates to different psychiatrists. Only then will we truly know how the criminally insane react in different situations." he added.

"Speaking of which...have you seen Harleen Quinzel recently? She seems different. I should know, I compared her old file to her new one. Before, she was quite soft and only did a few bad things for a laugh with Joker. Now...well she's committing crimes at the same scale as Joker used to...and Joker is taking his crimed killing sprees to a much more serious level." I explained.

"Batman already assured us they won't escape from Arkham again. He brought them here himself and stayed until he was sure of that fact."

"I don't know, it just doesn't feel right. But you must reconsider this transferral...think of Empress, think of all of the inmates who actually talk to us instead of grunt or throw an aggressive look at you. Believe me, Lawrence...I've had my fair share of death threats and flirtatious winks from the inmates here. My training never prepared me for what I was going to face here, but I say because I care for the inmates enough that I want to make them better. I want to say 'I cleansed a psychopath and turned them sane'. Why don't you understand that I'm only here for the inmates and not for the job?"

"You'd sooner quit to be with one of those ravenous criminals than stay here in the comfort of Arkham Asylum and work professionally?" he asked inquisitively.

"If it comes to that, then yes."

Harley Quinn (formally known as Harleen Quinzel) was now twenty nine years old. Her associated clown prince of crime was now thirty seven, and both of them were madly in love with each-other. It took about ten members of staff to pry them apart, get them in a straight jacket each and securely lock them in their own padded rooms. You can hear the laughter from both of them when you walk down the corridor.

Joker always smiles at me when I peer through the window at him. Harley normally sticks her tongue out or pulls a funny face at me. I don't mind this behaviour, at least they're not asking to touch my backside like most of the other inmates.

I would say the most incredible moment was when we put Harley and Joker in the same room together, Joker was in one corner and Harley was in the other. We were watching their behaviour closely, just in case we had to intervene. But what we saw...just proved their complicated relationship. It started with them screaming at each-other, and then they sat in the middle of the room and cuddled. And they cuddled for a good five minutes without a word spoken from either of them. Seeing that just made the whole job worthwhile. They never fail to disappoint me, in everything I've seen at Arkham. Their mad love just makes me realize that even the most complicated and abusive relationships can work out.

"I won't let you turn into a criminal like Harleen Quinzel. I am suspending you from your duties as a psychiatrist here at Arkham. Effective immediately. Clean out your desk and leave the main grounds before the end of the day." he said seriously, turning around and starting to walk back to his office.

I got a switch-blade out of my coat pocket which I confiscated from one of the inmates. I took the blade and came behind Lawrence Saunders, gripping his neck firmly and holding the blade near his throat.

All of the Arkham Asylum staff members rushed towards me.

"Joke's on you" I whispered sinisterly as I slit his throat open with the blade and dropped his body on the floor.

I was restrained by the staff and the blade was snatched from my fingers.

Dark red blood stained my white coat and was visible on my face. I looked at the body on the ground. I felt no remorse, no regret.

But hey, at least I get to stay in Arkham forever! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

"You try and take my job from me, Lawrence? Well fuck you! Yeah! I said it, what are you going to do about it?" I asked, laughing maniacally just a criminal.

The staff struggled a straight-jacket onto me and threw me in my own padded room. There were no more empty rooms, so I was sharing with Empress. She was chained down one end of the room, and I was chained to the other end of the room.

"Doctor Harding?" Empress asked nervously.

"Call me April, sounds more romantic" I replied flirtatiously.

"What the fuck? What happened to you?" she tried to run over here but she couldn't move past the half-way point in the room. And neither could I.

"I killed Lawrence Saunders" I admitted, smiling sinisterly towards her.

"Holy shit..." she stuttered in horror.

"Don't be shocked. I couldn't have done it without you!" I tried to guilt trip her, she needs to forfeit her mind and accept who she is. She isn't a scared little girl, she's an Empress.

"What have you done to yourself...you were such a nice person" she couldn't believe what I had just done. That a psychiatrist was in a straight jacket, locked in a room.

"I saved my job."

"You sacrificed your sanity..."

"A small price to pay for a lifetime of happiness" I assured her.

"I thought I was crazy...but damn...that's just diabolical."

"Joker will be proud of me"

"The fuck are you on about?"

"With Lawrence Saunders now dead, we're unattended."

"Until someone else takes over as owner of the asylum you mean." she corrected me.

"Right on schedule" I said, looking at Joker who was peering through the window.

Joker opened the door.

"Alright, April...I must admit that was pretty nicely done..." he started. "I didn't think a female assassin could make such a trustworthy psychiatrist...but yet here we are!" Joker said proudly.

Bouncing behind him was Harley Quinn, she was swinging the keys around on her finger.

"Yeah, good work 'Doctor Harding'" Harley said sarcastically. "We sur' fooled them didn't we, puddin?"

"We sure did, my dear. And now that Saunders is dead...I no longer have to worry about Harley being kidnapped." Empress looked at him blankly, definitely confused. "Oh did you think he was the 'nice man' he showed himself to be? He's the one who brainwashed your cousin and turned him into a monster. So...you're welcome, I just saved you a job." Joker explained.

"What?" Empress asked.

"The doctor who attempted to save your cousin was no doctor at all, he was a corrupted bio-engineer who curated XOS to allow full body manipulation...even after death. The reason your cousin became obsessed with you is not because of some mental illness, it's a hallucination caused by the drug. Jerome was given a high enough dose to make him hallucinate for a good ten years before he would need another dose, Saunders suspected Jerome would be dead by the end of that ten years, and he knew that registering to take over Arkham Asylum would be the one true way to get XOS out in mass production and finally...Gotham would be in a state of utter chaos." I explained.

"So why did you do all of this?" Empress asked curiously.

"Nobody in their right mind would send a hero on a mission to kill Lawrence Saunders. That's suicide. Which is why I'm here...sometimes when all else fails, the government send out criminals to save the day." I took the straight jacket off after Harley and Joker helped to loosen the buckles.

I reached into my pocket. I pulled out my white samurai mask with a red circle detailed on the forehead part of the mask. I placed the mask over the top half of my face.

"I am not Doctor April Harding, my name isn't April Harding, not even April." I walked over to Empress and unbuckled her straight jacket. "They call me Katana, I am part of a 'Suicide Squad.' We undertake missions destined to kill any normal human being for nothing other than the promise of living another day." I explained. "Although for this mission we took caution and only enlisted ourselves when necessary, ordinarily we'd all be together as one unit." I added.

"Why would you allow yourselves to be taken advantage of like this?" Empress asked, slipping the straight jacket off herself.

"When it came down ta dyin' or riskin' mah life for another day with my puddin...I chose another day with my puddin" Harley answered, snuggling up to Joker.

"You obviously came here for more than just to kill Saunders or you'd be gone by now" Empress pointed out.

"You're a clever one." Joker pointed out.

"Amanda Waller requests for you to come back to Belle Reve with us. But you'll have to change your identity just like I did...instead of Empress...how would you feel about being called... Enchantress?" I suggested.

"Do I have a choice?" Empress asked.

"Not anymore" I smirked, helping her up from the floor. "Welcome to the Suicide Squad."

"And why do you all risk your lives to kill people and cause mayhem...oh of course-" Empress paused.

"We're bad guys, it's what we do." Harley finished Empress' sentence.


	40. Epilogue

_**EPILOGUE**_

 _Harley Quinn's Perspective:_

I never knew happiness until I found my puddin. And although he isn't perfect and he still tries to kill me to this day, I know he's the reason I fight on this team. Seeing his beaming smile is worth all of the pain and suffering I endure.

Joker will remain against my decision and will continually try and stop me. I have no doubt he'll pursue a higher calling to eventually kill every member of Task Force X...whether or not I'll be included in Mistah J's hit list is another question entirely. Hopefully he'll realize that being part of a Suicide Squad isn't as bad as he thinks it is...and maybe he'll join me to kick some serious ass one day.

But until then, I can only focus on trying to escape from the open-walled cell in Belle Reve prison. When my prison sentence is finally paid off, me and Mistah J will live in society as ordinary citizens.

JOKING!

Things will never go back to how they used to be, back when I was sane and Mistah J was tormenting me with his playful smile. That's fine with me, I don't want to go back to being sane.

I'll almost certainly find myself precariously hanging off a cliff at some point. Just waiting for Mistah J to push me off as bait for Batman to rescue me.

Eventually, Batman will realize that he's bitten off more than he can chew. And he's got a really big mouth hehehe.

Maybe one day I'll look back and rethink everything I've ever done.

But today is not that day.


End file.
